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You want to make sure it's easy for her to brake up with him later.
Making this into too big of a deal will make that harder, because then breaking up will seem like a big dramatic thing that she doesn't want to go through.
I feel like I can only condone or condemn the relationship, and neither one really sounds like the right thing.
We made it to 17 without a bit of trouble, and now I just dont know how to handle it.
Then ask her if she thinks a 25 year old guy who dates a 17 year old is actually expressing maturity? You expect her to have relationships, that's normal.
But you're worried that, because of where he is in life, it will distract her from her goals. It's unlikely you'll convince her to dump him, but if you can express your concerns thoughtfully, you may plant enough seeds with her. On the plus side, the Guy has been in contact, so he's not just some shady stranger, and now that this is out in the open you can at least try to set some rules.
(Were going to talk more specifically later tonight) I know she lied about dating because we would not have approved, and that is true.
So there will definitely be consequences for that, but as for the rest, I am at a loss. But knowing her, I can understand what an older person would like about her. And Guy has called apologizing about lying and they both have said he wanted to tell us, but she didnt. I spent a lot of time today talking him out of finding the Guy and doing bodily harm to him.
Conversely, I dont want to treat the situation too lightly. You can piss her off for the next six months trying to prevent something she will do anyways, or you can realize there is nothing much you can do, there is not that much of an age difference and she's not a little kid anymore.
I cant change whats already happened; I just want to find the right way to deal with it and move on. Shes always had her head on straight, I dont think for a second she would allow anyone to pressure her into anything she didnt want to do, and Ive always believed she is WAY more sensible than I was at that age. He also said that he would do anything he could possibly do to show that he really cares for her. He has refused many times to even meet the Guy when he thought they were just friends, and now has labeled Guy a sick pervert.
I dont think hes some sicko perv, but I AM uncomfortable with the age difference.
Maybe STI testing if she hasn't been practicing safe sex every time, all the time.
Well, first I would say that when you talk to her, try to make sure you express yourself in a way that is about how you feel - rather than what she should do.