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I can get him rock hard in an instant and we can have sex for hours but when it comes to him finishing he has to do it by 'helping himself' with me kissing him.
I've read up a bit about it and it sounds a bit like delayed ejaculation. He says it's not me he's just been stressed and feels pressured after I mentioned it to him but can't help but feel I'm failing somehow or doing something wrong.
Prioritising his communication work, ( does he sign? , it's almost as if he is getting *reward/attention* for this but, more importantly, how do you feel about it Julie? It sounds as if he does it on the bus and at lunchtime, are there any other times? He may enjoy the reaction from an adult or another child around him. He likes to play with his saliva and enjoys the way it feels. He has difficulty swallowing and/or may be producing too much saliva It may be worth asking a GP or dentist to have a look and she if she/he feels he is producing the normal amount of saliva just to rule this out. Try playing this behaviour down as much as possible.
Try and limit verbal communication when this happens.
Ensure he understands what is expected and redirect him to a visual timetable.
Many autistic children take in most of their information through their visual channel and therefore picture prompts work better than almost anything else in many cases.
The National Autistic Society have an excellent section on challenging behaviour, which may help you Julie.
Do let us know your thoughts on this, we are here for you Oh my goodness,i am so glad i have read this,my child is a spitter,and swearing,it is mortifying and it doesnt matter how many times you tell him that it isnt appropriate it still happens,sorry i cant offer you any advice but its nice to know that it is the norm for children that are on the spectrum,like you i havent had a diagnoses,he scored on 2 but not on the other two,i firmly belive he is on the spectrum,but getting a diagnoses is a diffrent story.
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Wipe away the saliva as soon as it happens, again with no verbal communication or eye contact. Try and redirect him to a more appropriate activity.