Dating player tip
Here's how to take stock of your goals, make some strategic changes and get long-term satisfaction out of love and life.
In your 20s, you were probably dreaming up what would be the pinnacle of your career life, because, why not?
In your 20s, you dated around, kissed a few frogs, partied with your girls, survived school and got a firm grip on your career (finally! The twenty-something decade is full of exploration and change—but then, you blow out 30 candles and something feels decidedly different."There's this really unique thing that happens in your thirties," says psychologist Kristen Carpenter, Ph D, Director of Women's Behavioral Health at Ohio State's Wexner Medical Center.
"You really begin refining and enriching your life, and gaining career traction so you are where you want to be in your forties."According to Carpenter, this is where work-life balance starts to become the top priority.
You could even have some sort of "list" for what you want in a guy.
But after a decade of missed connections or random encounters, it might be time to get real."If a woman is interested in marriage and biological babies, it's time to really take the reins of your love life," says Boston-based dating coach Neely Steinberg, author of Skin in the Game.
Actively position yourself to meet like-minded guys who are likely looking for legit, long-term relationships.
Maybe we'll meet a brooding, handsome stranger in a coffee shop, or some witty guy will approach us at the neighborhood bar one night.
The less time you spend with a dead-end dude, the more room you'll have to pace the relationship with a guy who seems like a potential winner.
"You don't want to rush the process with him," says Steinberg. Make a date with yourself for a cup of coffee or glass of wine, grab a notebook, and take stock of your behaviors in your 20s.
CEO of a successful start-up, with your young-adult novel trilogy being turned into movies by your 35th birthday? It's great to, well, lean in—but many thirty-something women will admit that time seems to rapidly accelerate when in your 30s.
So while you should keep those sky-high goals close to your heart, you also have to hold yourself accountable for not missing out on something else you really want—like marriage and kids.
"You can't wait for serendipity to intervene or simply say, ' It will happen when it happens.'"What does that look like?