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What it does do however is allow much more personal disclosure and sexual freedom especially for women who are now in an unregulated space online due to the feeling of safety, intimacy and privacy one feels one has on one’s mobile, and due to the immediacy of the chats, something called “hyper personal” intimacy develops.Which is why discovering your partner chatting online feels so devastating – you discover written words that he/she has never spoken to you, sexual activities and fantasies not shared with you and that’s besides the pain of discovering explicit selfies.From analysis of all this data, plus the very substantial work I did with clients in my therapy room, I wrote my book. My research showed that the traditional vulnerability factors indicating who will commit infidelity, are not fully relevant for people who commit CI.My respondents indicated happy marriages/relationships, emotional satisfaction even sexual satisfaction. They (men and women) were looking for experimentation, NSA (No Strings Attached) sex, not emotional support or a way out of a marriage.and that’s a really confusing and important conundrum for people right now.
They know that if their partner were to discover these online interactions they would feel betrayed, hence the secrecy.Of course there are certain personality traits in people which make them more vulnerable to CI: narcissistic personalities, people who lack empathy and thus can't feel much guilt, and people with out of control behavior, namely people who are survivors of trauma.Also people who have anxious attachments, feel insecure and need others to validate them.These interactions may remain online always or the participants could meet up in real life (IRL).Due to the fact that they are mostly online, people deny infidelity saying ”It's not like I’m having sex or anything”, since we traditionally used to associate infidelity with in real-life sexual contact.
Online none of those cues are available, so we have to rely on words, emoticons and photos.