"How can a woman become a master of men?" I ask while sipping fresh apple juice.

"Don't believe any of that love bullshit. You have to realize that the stupidest investment in the world is an investment in love," says Beibei. "Only when you are immune from love will you have the chance to be a master." The lesson continues.

Of course, I know Beibei has no faith in love because her husband – the one they call Chairman Hua – betrayed her.

When Beibei was studying at the Central Minority Nationalities Institute, she met Hua Dabin. Because he was chairman of the students association, everybody called him Chairman Hua – after Hua Guofeng, Mao Zedong's designated successor. Hua Dabin came from Xinjiang, was tall and striking and very popular with the girls.

Beibei fell in love with Chairman Hua, and was soon living with him off-campus. This was major news that year at school – because at the time it was forbidden for college students to marry or live together. The institute almost expelled them, and only because of Beibei's family connections were they allowed to stay.

Hua majored in literary and historical archives, and after graduation it was difficult for him to find a job. The school was going to send him back to Xinjiang. It was nearly impossible for people from the outer provinces to remain in Beijing.

Beibei decided to marry him immediately. That way, he could obtain Beijing residency and stay in Beijing. Beibei also did not hesitate to use her old revolutionary grandfather to pull some strings and find Hua a job. Her grandfather had been incorruptible all his life, but he couldn't remain so in his final years, all for the sake of his much-loved granddaughter.

Hua and Beibei joined the propaganda team at a factory. Their job was to write down socialist slogans on the blackboard of the factory every day. Their salaries were low, and they had no place to live, so they had to live with Beibei's parents.

Hua was a fiercely ambitious young man, not content to live under somebody else's roof. He recognized China 's need for English-speaking businessmen and began to spend all his time studying English. He applied for the United Nations' postgraduate program held at Beijing Foreign Languages Institute and was admitted. He slaved there for three years, and during those years, Beibei worked to support them both.

After Hua graduated, he found a marketing job at Motorola China. Motorola has done well in China in the beeper and cell phone business. By 1997, Hua's monthly salary was 20,000 RMB – about $2,400 – twenty times the average salary. He bought a condo for Beibei and him. They moved out of his father-in-law's house.

As the popular Beijing saying goes, "When women turn bad, they get money; when men get money, they turn bad." The word that Chairman Hua had a lover eventually reached Beibei. She refused to believe it. She was completely loyal to Hua, and couldn't imagine that he'd betray her.

But one day she returned home early from a business trip and found the door of her apartment locked. As she stood there, perplexed, the door opened a crack, and there was Hua's startled face and stark naked body. Before either of them could say anything, a woman's voice came from the room. "Is that the food delivery? You've tired me out – I'm starving."

Beibei burst into the room, kicking over a vase and toppling a fish tank. With an explosive crash, the living room floor was covered with tropical fish, flipping all over in desperation.

Hua's lover was so scared that she started to leave the apartment, still not properly dressed. Hua held his lover by the waist. "Don't go. What can she do to us, anyway?"

With Hua's support, the naked woman sat down on the sofa, crossed her legs, produced a cigarette from somewhere, and started to smoke.

After that incident, Beibei thought of divorce. But if she divorced Hua, what would she do then? At that time, her factory was about to go bankrupt, and she needed money to be independent. She didn't want to beg her grandfather again to find her a more profitable job.

Beibei did not get divorced. Instead, the girl who had always behaved like a princess swallowed her pride. She started spending her time tracking down old contacts, and soon she was representing singers who came to Beijing to break into the big time. She founded the Chichi Entertainment Company. Nowadays, the company is one of the most powerful agencies in town. It represents the hottest bands, like Made in China, Peasants, and Central Leadership. It also brought hot international singers such as Whitney Houston and Sarah Brightman to China, which allowed Beibei to make bundles of money.

And every time there is a concert, Beibei gives Lulu and me the most expensive tickets. It's not just because we are her buddies – both Lulu and I work in the media. Beibei knows the importance of promotion and publicity.

Straightforward and outspoken, Beibei is a real sharp-tongued Beijinger. She likes to be the center of attention. This, together with her extraordinary family background, means that she has been overbearing ever since she was young.

Compared to the soft-spoken feminine Lulu, Beibei is tough and even bossy. When Lulu had her abortion after being made pregnant for the third time by the despicable Ximu, and Ximu did not once go to visit her, Beibei wanted to hire a thug to castrate him. She had even taken an exquisitely carved Tibetan knife she had brought back from Lhasa, its blade shining, and given it to the thug, hidden in an envelope. Had it not been for Lulu's repeated pleading, Ximu would have been a eunuch.

Chairman Hua has confessed to Beibei that the reason that he sought a lover in the first place was because of Beibei's temper and arrogance. Although Hua's excuse is ridiculous and self-serving, he has managed to win a lot of sympathy from other Chinese men.

"Most Chinese men don't like strong women," Beibei tells me. "They like servile women who suck up to them. But a servile woman who relies on her man financially can be miserable. No matter how much she has done for him, he will still underestimate her. If he abandons her, he'd say it's because she is too needy or not smart enough. But if she makes good money, he can't ever look down on her."

Hua treats Beibei with more respect now that she has become the breadwinner at home. "But once bitten by a snake, you don't want to even come close to a rope," says Beibei. She feels things can never be the same between them, and she no longer trusts emotions. She takes her own lovers. The couple has an open marriage.

I have met Chairman Hua a few times. His eyes are always darting back and forth, his gaze fierce. This man is too ambitious and calculating. Beibei tends to like this type of man. Her lovers are all younger versions of Hua. But I don't think ambition is a terribly attractive characteristic in a man. I'm always more attracted to gentle, laid-back men. I can't explain why. Perhaps it has to do with my Buddhist background. Or perhaps because I am short-tempered, I need a relaxed person to balance my life.

Since I returned, Beibei hangs out with Lulu and me every day, working out, having makeovers, and eating out, just as if she was as single and unattached as we are. Sometimes she brings along her sleek lover, Iron Egg. We all know that Iron Egg is a gold digger. Once Beibei complained to me, "Five thousand yuan pocket money a month is not enough for Iron Egg. He asks me to buy this and that for him all the time. He won't let me sleep with Chairman Hua. Tell me, is that Iron Egg a bastard or what!? He thinks because I'm older than him, he's getting a raw deal sleeping with me. I'm like his customer. I may as well go and find a xiao yazi - a little duck, a real gigolo. At least he would be honest about the fact that he loves my money."

Sometimes I wish Beibei would divorce Chairman Hua and marry someone she really loves. But Beibei doesn't have much confidence in men. On the surface, Beibei is cynical, but I know that she desires true love just like everybody else.