"Yes."

"Then what was it that made you abandon everything in America and return to live in China?"

"I like tension; it makes me feel like I'm alive. In the beginning I had the courage to leave home alone with only one thousand dollars and go to a strange country. Now why shouldn't I have the courage to abandon my car, my house, and other material objects and return to China? China 's changes, energy, and dynamism, I think, are just like the United States in the 1960s. I have to join this wave."

"Do you feel nostalgic for the 1960s as well?"

"Do you?"

I nod vigorously.

Mimi laughs. "It seems like we are both people who thrive on chaos. Birds of a feather flock together."

"Precisely because we thrive on chaos, we want to be in the United States one moment and China the next. We leap back and forth," I say.

It is not like a regular interview, but I have found a soul-mate. It seems that there is so much we share in common.

It takes only a few hours of talking with Mimi for me to realize more about what I want out of my life and my future as compared to all the time I have spent with my other girlfriends. Spending time with her makes the countless hours we have spent trying to decide where to go out on the weekend or talking about men seem meaningless. Mimi has the power to calm you down and make you feel focused. I would like to lead such a life: a caring husband, a stable family, a child, a rewarding job that actually helps make people's lives easier. I see in Mimi what my own life could be like someday if I am lucky.

The Korean movie My Barbaric Girlfriend is a hit not only on the mainland but in Hong Kong and Taiwan as well. Young Chinese women identify with the hot-tempered, sometimes rude, yet beautiful female lead in the movie. It seems that the Confucian patriarchal Chinese society has finally come to embrace strong women. Especially among the one-child generation on the mainland, one would have difficulty finding submissive, stereotypical Asian girls nowadays.

Describing herself as the "spicy girl" from Hunan Province, Dolly considers herself a representative of the new generation. Her idol is the barbaric girlfriend who slammed her boyfriend in the face in the movie. She has watched the movie at least five times. Dolly is short-tempered and doesn't want to change in any way for any of her men. She doesn't cook. She prefers that the men cook. She likes to wear miniskirts and doesn't mind talking about orgasms in public with her friends. She even dates her English teacher, Terry, who comes from Texas.

In three months, she convinces shy, meek Terry to quit his job in China, marry her, and take her back to Texas.

Everyone thinks that the free-wheeling American lifestyle will suit Dolly. But one month after she leaves, she calls her friends from a detention center in Austin, Texas.

"I might be thrown in prison. I don't know anybody here to help me," she tells her friends in China.

"What about your husband, Terry? He can help you!" Her friends in China are all surprised that she will ask for help in China when she has an American husband on her side.

"He's the one who is suing me!" The usually tough Dolly now sounds more scared and shocked than anything else.

Hearing her situation, her friends come to me to ask for help. After all, I have been in the States and, at a minimum, can offer some advice. I call Dolly right away.

Over the phone line, Dolly pours out her story, "I tried to send a check of five thousand dollars to my folks in China, but my husband said that he didn't have a job at the moment, and didn't think it was a good idea for me to send so much money. I said, 'I'm your wife, not your appendage. I can make my own decision.'

"He argued that I didn't have a job either and the money was all his. I got angry and said to him, 'We're husband and wife now. There should not be your money or my money.'

"He argued back and I got enraged, so I threw the coffee mug I had in my hand at him. His nose was broken. Can you believe what he did next? He called the police! I didn't expect the police to take the matter so seriously. They arrested me! I was in the detention center for four days. America is a free country – why would the police interfere with my domestic dispute? Also, how could my husband be so cruel to me and call the police?" Dolly's words spill out through the phone.

"You hurt him. You threatened his life," I explain.

Dolly retorts, "But it is common to have verbal, and sometimes physical, fights between husbands and wives in China. My parents often beat each other when I was growing up. I know other kids at school whose parents fought too. How can Terry love me but leave me in the detention center and now threaten to sue me?"

"If you love him, why did you hurt him?" I don't have sympathy for Dolly after hearing the story.

Dolly argues, "But in Chinese, we have the saying, Dashiqin, mashiai. Beating is a way of showing love."

"Would you like it if your husband showed his love by beating you every day? You need to change your temperament. Apologize to your husband and make him drop the case."

"He has always liked my wild and spicy side. Men love barbaric girlfriends. If I change, I won't be attractive anymore."

"Do you think you are attractive in a prisoner's uniform?" I ask. I hang up the phone, knowing Dolly's marriage has gone bad, like a pot of soup that has been overspiced.

DASHIQIN, MASHIAI: "Beating is a way of showing love."

China has recently been accepted as a member of the World Trade Organization. International companies are keeping their fingers crossed that China will loosen up on ideology and open their media and publishing markets to Western companies. This willingness works both ways. Many Chinese writers and journalists hope to work for a more free-minded globally focused magazine or a publishing house someday.

I'm one of them. Although I like my job at World News, I'd like to write for Chinese readers. It's more rewarding if my friends can see my byline on a regular basis than having my articles published in countries where nobody recognizes my name. Even Sean once said to me, "Niuniu, you're such a good reporter. Sometimes I think you could contribute more if you were the editor-in-chief of a magazine in China and could write your own column there. I see this happening someday. Also, China lacks the talent that you have, with your education, experience, connections, and independent mind."

I'm not sure why my own boss would say something like this to me. But Sean is sincere. Some part of me is willing to jump into local international magazines and publishing houses. Knowing this, CC introduces Lulu and me to Robert Payne, editor-in-chief of a New York – based women's magazine, who is in town on a business trip.

Lulu and I meet Mr. Payne in the Beijing Hotel's lobby. Both of us are excited to hear Mr. Payne's newest information and the details of his China trip.

But Mr. Payne doesn't look very eager at all. "This trip is disappointing," he begins with a sigh. "I've talked to some potential Chinese partners. I thought they'd be thrilled to meet a foreign investor with a strong background and interest. But they were not. At one Chinese magazine, their boss didn't show up. Only her assistant came to show me around. I guess my company should have done some prep work to promote our brand awareness before I came to Beijing."

"May I have your business card?" I ask.

After getting Mr. Payne's business card, I say, "I've noticed that you don't have a Chinese translation on the back of your card. On the English side of the business card, you are listed as Editor. In China, even those who understand some English don't know that the editor of a magazine is really the editor-in-chief. So they probably thought you were just an ordinary editor – one of the staff. In China, rank is key. People get different treatment according to their status."