"My family wasn't exactly normal, Luce -"

"I don't want you to tell me."

"- my grandpa raised me, mostly, my grandfather and my aunt, and sometimes I didn't have anyone -"

"Your secrets are your own."

"They're not secrets. When I was with my mother, we moved a lot. I needed rules, and there weren't any rules. I wanted friends, but I didn't have any because of the goofy way we lived, so I made some bad choices and got in with bad kids -"

"Shh. Shh."

"I needed someone to be there, and they were what I had. They came around with a stolen car, and I went along for a ride. How dumb is that?"

She touched my lips.

"I mean it. You keep your life inside like little secret creatures. All of us do, I guess, but it's different now, we're different, what it means to me is different."

She touched my chest over my heart.

"How many secret creatures do you keep?"

"I'll find Ben, Luce. I swear to God I'll find him and bring him home."

She shook her head so gently that I almost did not see.

"No."

"Yes, I will. I'll find him. I'm going to bring him home."

Her sadness grew to an ache so clear that it broke my heart.

"I don't blame you for this happening, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that Ben is gone, and I should have known it would happen."

"What are you talking about? How could you know?"

"Richard is right, Elvis. I shouldn't be with you. I shouldn't have let my child stay with you."

My belly cramped with a sour heat. I wanted her to stop.

"Luce -"

"I really and truly don't blame you, but things like this – like what happened in Louisiana and last year with Laurence Sobek – I can't have those things in my life."

"Lucy. Please."

"My son had a normal childhood before I knew you. I had a normal life. I let my love for you blind me, and now my son is gone."

Tears gathered on her lashes, then fell along her cheeks. She didn't blame me she blamed herself.

"Luce, don't talk like that."

"I don't care what that man said on the tape, but I could hear his hatred for you. He hates you, and he has my son. He hates you so much that you can only make it worse. Leave it to the police."

"I can't walk away I have to find him."

She gripped my arm and her nails cut into my skin.

"You're not the only person who can find him. It doesn't have to be you."

"I can't leave him. Don't you see?"

"You'll get him killed! You're not the only one who can do this, Elvis; you're not the last detective in Los Angeles. Let the others find him. Promise me."

I wanted to help her stop hurting. I wanted to pull her close and hold her and feel her hold me, but my own eyes filled and I shook my head.

"I'm going to bring him home, Luce. I can't do anything else."

She let go of my arms, then wiped her eyes. Her face was as dark and hard as a death mask.

"Get out."

"You and Ben are my family."

"No. We're not your family."

I felt impossibly heavy, like I was made of lead and stone.

"You're my family."

"GET OUT!"

"I'll find him."

"YOU'LL GET HIM KILLED!"

I left her like that and went down to my car. I couldn't feel the chill anymore. The sweet scent of the jasmine was gone.

Joe Pike

Elvis got into his car, but sat without moving. Pike touched a leaf out of the way, better to see. When Cole's cheek caught the light, he saw that Cole was crying. Pike took a deep breath. He worked hard to keep his moments empty, but that wasn't always easy.

After Cole drove away, Pike left the rubber tree and slipped through the shadows alongside the bungalow and into the adjoining yard. He worked his way up an alley until he was a block behind Fontenot, then crossed to Lucy's side of the street. He moved in the shadows and passed within fifteen feet of Fontenot's car, but Fontenot did not see him. Pike slipped behind the birds- of- paradise, then up to Lucy's door. Fontenot was out of the picture. The building blocked his view.

Pike stood well back from the peephole. Lucy had been uneasy with him since the Sobek business, so he wanted her to see him before she opened the door. He knocked. Soft.

The door opened.

Pike said, "I'm sorry about Ben."

She was a strong, good-looking woman, even wrung out the way she was. Before Lucy and Ben moved from Louisiana and before the Sobek thing, Pike had joined her and Elvis at a tennis court. Neither Pike nor Elvis knew much about tennis, but they played her just to see, the two of them on one side against Lucy on the other. She was quick and skillful; her balls snapped low across the net just out of reach. She laughed easily and with confidence as she cut them to pieces. Now, she looked uncertain.

"Where's Elvis?"

"Gone."

Lucy glanced past him at the street.

She said, "When did you get back from Alaska?"

"A few weeks ago. May I come in?"

She let him enter. After she closed the door, she waited with her hand on the knob. Pike saw that she was uncomfortable. He wouldn't be staying.

"I'm across the street. I thought you should know that."

"Richard has someone outside."

"I know about him. He doesn't, about me."

She closed her eyes and leaned against the door as if she wanted to sleep until this was over. Pike thought he understood. It must be terrible for her with Ben missing. His own mother took the punches meant for him. Every night.

Pike wasn't clear why he had come or what he wanted to say. It was good to be clear. He was unclear about too many things these days.

Pike said, "I saw Elvis leave."

She shook her head, still with her eyes closed, still leaning into the door.

"I don't want either of you involved. You'll only make things worse for Ben."

"He hurts."

"Jesus, I hurt, too, and it's not your business. I know he's hurt. I know that. I'm sorry."

Pike tried to find the words.

"I want to tell you something."

The weight of his silence made her open her eyes.

"What?"

He didn't know how to say it.

"I want to tell you."

She grew irritated and stood away from the door.

"Jesus, Joe, you never say anything but here you are. If you want to say something, say it."

"He loves you."

"Oh, that's too perfect. God knows what's happening to Ben, but it's all about him to you."

Pike considered her.

"You don't like me."

"I don't like the way violence follows you; you and him. I've known police officers all my life, and none of them live like this. I know federal and state prosecutors who've spent years building cases against murderers and mob bosses, and none of them have their children stolen – in New Orleans, for God's sake, and none of them draw violence like you! I was out of my mind to get involved in this."

Pike considered her, then shrugged.

"I haven't heard the tape. All I know is what Starkey told us. Do you believe it?"

"No. Of course not. I told him so. Jesus, do I have to have that conversation again?"

She blinked, then crossed her arms, holding tight.

"Goddamnit, I hate to cry."

Pike said, "Me, too."

She rubbed hard at her face.

"I can't tell if that's a joke. I never can tell if you're joking."

"If you don't believe those things, then trust him."

She shouted now.

"It's about Ben. It's not about me or him or you. I have to protect myself and my son. I cannot have this insanity in my life. I am normal! I want to be normal! Are you so perverted that you think this is normal? It isn't! It is insane!"

She raised her fists as if she wanted to pound his chest. He would have let her, but she only stood with her hands in the air, crying.

Pike didn't know what else to say. He watched her for a time, then turned off the lights.