Hudson’s mouth tightened. “It only texts when you set it for home.”
I was a little surprised that he hadn’t set the system to monitor all my comings and goings. It wasn’t like him. At a more appropriate time, I’d try to remember to be impressed. “Anyway, I just went to the bakery down the street. And Celia showed up. And I was sick of it. So I approached her.”
“You approached her?” Not only was his eye twitching and his jaw tense, but his hand was shaking as well. I hadn’t seen that from him before. Was he that angry?
“I did. It was stupid. I know it was stupid. But Stacy had sent me one of the emails that you had supposedly sent her, and I was reading it, and I could tell it wasn’t from you. I recognized one of the quotes used from one of the books Celia highlighted, and I knew the email was from her. So I confronted her about it. About writing the email.” The story spilled out in babble that I wasn’t even sure he could comprehend.
Apparently he did. “And she told you then that I was with her? Just out of the blue?”
I cringed. He wouldn’t like what I had to say next, but it was best to get it all out. “First, I showed her Stacy’s video.” After checking for his reaction, which I couldn’t read, I went on. “Then she said that you were together. That you were a couple. That you fucked her that night and it wasn’t the first time and it wasn’t the last.”
If Hudson’s face grew any redder, steam would come out of his ears. “And you believed her?”
I squared my shoulders. “It pissed me off enough that I punched her.” Yeah, I admit it, I sounded proud.
“You punched her?” There went the steam.
That hadn’t been the reaction I’d wanted. “You know what? Keep acting like this is an interrogation and I’m out of here.”
Hudson paced the room, pushing his hands through his hair. When he stopped to focus on me again, he’d regained some composure, though his shoulders were still tight and his voice strained. “I’m sorry if I sound a bit tense, Alayna. I assure you it’s only out of concern for you.”
I studied him for several seconds. It was out of concern—I saw it now. His eyes were pinned on me, his shaking wasn’t out of anger; it was fear. Fear for me. The extent that he cared for me was limitless. It was as obvious as the color of his eyes.
The realization calmed me. I pulled back every ounce of snark and venom and gave him raw honesty in its place. “Yes, I punched her. I think I broke her nose. So I’m probably going to get some sort of assault charge for that. That’s why I needed you.”
“Alayna.” His eyes radiated with love. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“I did! Your phone was off. I could have left a message, but I didn’t want to say all that over voicemail, and I didn’t want to interrupt your meeting because I knew it was important.”
“Not as important as you.” He wanted to come to me—the urge was palpable. But there was still that other thing hanging in between us—the moment he’d walked in on—and so he sat on the arm of the couch instead, his hands playing with the bunched fabric of his slacks. “Have the police contacted you?”
I shook my head. “I was afraid to go back to the house so I came here to wait for your call.”
His eyes settled on his shoes. “I got your text when I was already in flight. I didn’t call because I knew I’d end up telling you I was on my way home, and I wanted it to be a surprise.” He laughed gruffly. “I took a nap instead. I should have called.”
Now it was my eyes that studied the floor. “I should have kept my cool.”
“I’ll take care of everything. Don’t worry about it in the least. She’s not going to bother you again.”
He said it with such conviction that I had no choice but to believe him. He’d find a way to protect me from Celia. I simply had to comply with the parameters he set to keep me safe. If I’d done that to begin with, she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to push me, and Hudson wouldn’t have to bail me out of my mess.
Gratitude and relief swept through me, along with a twinge of regret. “Thank you.”
And then a whole bunch more regret followed. If I hadn’t punched Celia, would I have ended up in David’s arms? Something told me probably not. Either way, the weight of what Hudson had witnessed was immensely heavy. “Hudson,” my voice trembled. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Good for you, actually. She deserves worse.” He even managed to smile as he said the last part.
I wanted to smile with him. But I couldn’t. Not yet. “I mean, I’m sorry about David.”
“Oh.” His face grew grim and the pain from earlier resurfaced. His next words were careful and precise and burdened. “Tell me one thing—do you still feel anything for him?”
“No. No, I don’t. Nothing. I’ve told you that before, and I meant it, though I’m sure it doesn’t seem like it seeing me tonight. But the whole time he was holding me, it felt wrong. All I could think about was you. I was missing you, H. Needing you. So much. And I didn’t think about what I was doing. I’m so, so, sor—”
He flew to me before I could finish, wrapping his arms around me.
Yes, that was how it was supposed to feel, that was what I’d been longing for.
He buried his face in my hair. “I missed you too, precious. Needed you. I was trying to get back here—”
“And I ruined your surprise.” I nuzzled further into his chest. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t care. It hurts, but I’ve hurt you. And as long as you swear that he means nothing—”
“Nothing. I swear with every fiber of my body, it’s only you.” I tilted my head up to kiss along his jaw. “How about you—” The question threatened to stick in my throat, but I forced it out. “Do you still feel anything for Celia?”
His body stiffened. Leaning back to meet my eyes, he said softly, “Alayna…I’ve never felt anything for Celia.”
“You mean, it was just sex?” They were things I had to ask, even if the answers were already clear.
He shook his head slowly. “I’ve never been with her at all.”
“She was lying.” It wasn’t a question. I’d already suspected she’d made it up.
He confirmed anyway. “She was lying.”
“That’s what I thought.” It should have been a relief. Why did my acceptance of this only bring a pit of dread?
Because if that wasn’t what he had to confess to me about the video, then there was still a truth I had to learn. Something told me I already knew. The alternative explanation that I’d managed to tuck away earlier returned to niggle at me. And this time it wouldn’t let go until I explored it fully.
Gently—reluctantly—I pushed my way out of his arms. “But here’s the thing—I sort of wish it were true.”
He raised a questioning brow.
“Not that you were sleeping with her while we were together—not that part. But the rest of it—that you were really with her when Stacy saw you. If that was the truth, I could accept it. Don’t get me wrong—the idea of you with her, fucking her—it torments me. It really does.” Like, actually produced bile in my mouth. “But I think I always knew you were never with her. It’s in your eyes—both now and in that video.”
Hudson’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “I wasn’t. I was never with her.”
I continued to stare at his neck. It was easier than looking at his eyes where dark storms were beginning to gather. “And that means that the thing with Stacy was a scam. Of course it was. I wanted to think it was just Celia in on it, and you were protecting her. But you said you weren’t and you did go along enough to stage that kiss. You were part of it.”
I paused, letting what I’d said sink into my consciousness, tasting the truth of the words that still lingered in my mouth. “I thought for a minute that might be your secret. Except it’s not it. I mean, yeah, that’s shitty that you did that to her, but I knew you had those things in your past. And you knew that I knew those things. If that were all there was to learn from that video, you would have told me. There had to be more you were hiding.”