–Look it. He’s hangin’ on by himself.

–What’re yis goin’ to call him? Jimmy Sr asked.

–Don’t know.

–Wha’ abou’ Larry Gogan? said Jimmy Sr.

He looked across at Jimmy Jr, but Jimmy Jr didn’t know he was being slagged.

–That’s stupid, said Linda.

–It’s thick, said Tracy.

–No, it’s not, said Jimmy Sr.—Listen. How many—?

–Call him Anthrax, said Jimmy Jr.

–They will not, said Veronica.

–Look it, said Jimmy Sr when he’d stopped laughing.—If yis call him King or Sultan or somethin’ like tha’ an’ yis shout ou’ his name half the dogs in Barrytown’ll come runnin’ at yis; d’yeh see? But if yis call him Larry Gogan he’s the only one that’ll come to yis cos there’s not all tha’ many dogs called Larry Gogan as far as I know.

–It’s an excellent name, said Jimmy Jr.

The girls looked at each other.

–Okay, said Linda.—We were goin’ to call it Whitney.

–It’s a boy, said Jimmy Sr, laughing.

–Yeah.

–Your name’s Larrygogan, Tracy told the pup.

Larrygogan didn’t look all that impressed.

–Howyeh, Larrygogan.

–Will yis do a message for me, girls?

–Yeah, said Linda.

Jimmy Sr always paid them for messages.

–Get a choc-ice for your mammy—

–I want a Toblerone as well, said Veronica.

–Certainly, Veronica, said Jimmy Sr.—A choc-ice an’ a small Toblerone, an’ you can have choc-ices as well.

–Can we just have the money?

–No way. Choc-ices. An’, come here, I want to see yis eatin’ them.

–Not till they’ve had their tea, said Veronica.

–Did yis hear tha’? said Jimmy Sr.—An’ get one for Darren an’ as well.

–Wha’ abou’ me? said Jimmy Jr.

–Buy your own.

–Aaah! He’s gorgeous!

Sharon had just walked in and seen Larrygogan.

–There’s Sharon, said Jimmy Sr.—D’yeh want a choc-ice, Sharon?

–Yeah thanks, Daddy.

–A celery one, is it?

–Very funny, I don’t think.

Sharon patted Larrygogan.

–God, he’s only a skeleton.

–He’s from Ethiopia, said Jimmy Jr.

Jimmy Sr, Linda, Tracy and Sharon laughed but Veronica didn’t. They heard a bang from above them. The bunk beds in the boys’ room had hopped. Les and Darren were fighting.

–STOP THA’, Jimmy roared at the ceiling.—There.

He gave three pound notes to Linda.

–We’ll bring Larrygogan, said Tracy.

Sharon laughed.

–Is tha’ wha’ yis’re callin’ him?

–That’s righ’, said Jimmy Sr.

He winked at her.

–Don’t bring him, he told the twins.—He’ll have to have his shots. If yis bring him ou’ before he has his shots he’ll catch diseases.

–What’s shots?

–Injections.

–Ah no!

–They’re nice injections. They don’t hurt. They’ll tickle him. An’ annyway, if he doesn’t have them he’ll catch all sorts o’ diseases. An’ then Jimmy here’ll catch them off o’ him an’ give them to all his pals.

–I’ll wear a johnny, Jimmy Jr whispered to Sharon.

–Oh Jesus! Sharon laughed.

–Take it easy, said Jimmy Sr.

–Right, said Veronica.—Ready. Sharon, give me a hand here.

–Dash, girls, Jimmy Sr told the twins.

And they did.

And Larrygogan fell into the sink.

On the Tuesday morning after Larrygogan joined the family, in the middle of week eleven, Sharon got an awful fright when she was climbing out of bed, just waking up. Her period had started.

–Oh no!—Oh God—

She’d been robbed.

But then she remembered: she’d read in the book that this could happen. It wasn’t a real period. It probably wasn’t a real period.

She stayed at home in bed and waited. She lay there, afraid to move too much. She tried to remember the Hail Mary but she couldn’t get past Hello Be Thy Name, and anyway, she didn’t believe in it, not really; so she stopped trying to remember the rest of it. It was just something to do. She wanted to turn on her side but she was afraid to. She just lay there and she started saying Please please please please all the time to herself. She kept everything else out of her mind. She concentrated on that.

–Please please please please.

The book was right. It didn’t last long. It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t a real period at all. She was still pregnant.

–Aah! Jaysis!!

Veronica put the skirt on the table and got up to see what was wrong in the hall. But before she got to the door Jimmy Sr came hopping into the kitchen with one of his leather slippers in his hand.

–What happened? said Veronica.

–The dog’s after shitein’ in the fuckin’ hall an’ I fuckin’ stood in it, that’s wha’ happened.

–On the floor?

–No. On the fuckin’ ceilin’. Jesus!

He hopped over to the sink and put the slipper under the tap. Veronica came back from the hall.

–It’s comin’ off alrigh’, Jimmy Sr told her.

–What about the carpet?

–The twins’ll be cleanin’ tha’, don’t worry. An’ the sink here.

–It’s disgusting, said Veronica.

Jimmy Sr inspected the slipper. It was grand and clean again. He threw it on the floor and stepped into it.

–Ah, he’s only a pup, he said.

–He’ll have to go. They’re not training him properly.

–Give him a chance, Veronica. You’ll be expectin’ the poor little bollix to eat with a knife an’ fork next.

Veronica gave up and got back to the skirt. She was just finishing Linda’s and then she had Tracy’s to do.

Jimmy Sr saw the twins out in the back. They were trying to get Larrygogan to catch a burst plastic football but Larrygogan was having problems staying upright. If the ball landed on him Jimmy Sr thought it would kill him. The grass needed cutting. Larrygogan kept disappearing in it.

Jimmy Sr opened the back door.

–Get in here, you-is!

Sharon woke up and she knew she was going to be sick.

She was hunched down at the toilet bowl. There was sweat, getting cold, on her face. She shivered. More puke, not much now—hardly any—rushed into her mouth.

–Yu-hh—!

It dropped into the water and she groaned. She squeezed her eyes shut. She wiped them, then her nose, and her eyes again. She stood up carefully. She was cold.

–Are yeh alrigh’ in there, Sharon?

It was Jimmy Sr.

–Yeah, she said.—Ou’ in a minute.

–No hurry, Jimmy Sr assured her.—I was in already.

Sharon rubbed her arms. A wave of horribleness ran through her.

She gagged. She really felt terrible, and weak. She leaned against the wall. It was cool; nice. She knew she wasn’t going to be sick again. This morning.

She thought about nothing.

–Are yeh stayin’ in there, or wha’?

It was the other Jimmy.

Sharon unlocked the door.

–What’s your fuckin’ hurry? she said.

Jimmy Jr looked at her face.

–Wha’ were you drinkin’ last nigh’? he asked.

Sharon passed him. She was going back to bed. That was where she wanted to be.

The twins looked at her.

–Are yeh not well, Sharon? Linda asked her.

–No, said Sharon.

–That’ll be the flu, said Linda.

Tracy agreed with her.

–There’s a bug goin’ around, she said.—Cover yourself up properly.

They went downstairs to get a cup of tea and a bit of dry toast for Sharon. Sharon rubbed her legs. Only her forehead was cold now.

Well, she was pregnant now alright. She pressed her stomach gently: still nothing, but she was on her way. She smiled, but she hoped to God it wasn’t going to be like this every morning.

When she took her hand away from her stomach—probably because she didn’t feel sick any more—she noticed that her skin there was kind of sore, a bit like sunburn but not nearly as bad. She pressed again: yeah, the same. She tried her tits.