Seth leaned forward so his words wouldn’t be overheard. “Are you going to order my death, Keenan?”
“Would you kill for her?”
“Yeah. For her, especially if it was you”—Seth smiled—“but not as a way to win her attention. That’s weak, and she deserves better than that.”
“She’ll mourn you sooner or later. The worry over you saddens her. The maudlin focus on your brief life span distracts her. It would strengthen my court if you were gone already and she were truly my queen….” Keenan’s words faded as he looked at Seth with an unreadable expression on his face.
“If you have me killed, she’d find out, though. Would that strengthen your court?” Seth looked away to watch Aislinn walk through the room toward them. She frowned as she saw them but didn’t rush or do anything obvious.
He turned back to Keenan, who was lion-still again, watching Aislinn too.
The Summer King spoke quietly, “No. Your death by my word would upset her. Tavish recommended it, despite the complications, but I think the dangers to my court outweigh the benefits of your death. I cannot order your removal—tempting though it may be. It would push her further away.”
Seth’s heartbeat sped. Suspecting your death had been discussed so coldly was one thing; hearing it confirmed was entirely different. “Is that why you don’t do it?”
“In part. I had hope that I could be with Donia, at least for a while. Instead, Aislinn and I are both worried over the lovers we can’t keep. It’s not the way Summer should feel. Our court is about frivolity, impulse, and that dizzy blur of pleasure. It’s not love I feel for Aislinn, but our court would be stronger if she were mine. Every instinct I have pulls me toward her. It drives a wedge between Donia and me. We all know that if you weren’t in the way Aislinn would be mine.”
Seth watched the Summer King watch Aislinn. His mouth was dry as he prompted, “But?”
With effort, Keenan pulled his gaze away from Aislinn. “But I don’t kill mortals…even those who stand in my way. For now, I’ll deal with the way things are. It won’t last forever.” He sounded a little sad as he said it, but Seth wasn’t sure if Keenan was sad that Seth was in the way or that he wouldn’t always be in the way. “So I’ll wait.”
Later, Seth would ponder it, but just then, Aislinn slid into his arms.
Aislinn motioned toward Damali. “She’s good.”
They both murmured assent.
“It makes me want to dance.” She swayed in his lap. “Do you want to?”
Before Seth could reply, Keenan reached over and touched her hand. “I’m sorry, but I need to leave.”
“Leave? Now? But—”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood slowly, moving with the faerie elegance that seemed to announce their Otherness. “The guards will be outside to escort you…wherever you go tonight.”
“Seth’s,” she whispered. Her cheeks flushed.
Keenan’s expression didn’t change. “Tomorrow then.”
And then he was gone, moving faster than mortal eyes—even Sighted ones—could follow.
Chapter 11
Seth wasn’t surprised when Aislinn became restless a few songs later and wanted to walk. She’d been that way before she became a faery. That was one of the things that hadn’t changed—like keeping things from him. She’d always had to keep secrets, and her first instinct when she feared rejection was to continue to do so. Understanding why she was secretive didn’t mean accepting it, though. They’d only gone a block or so when he asked, “Are we going to talk about what’s bothering you?”
“Do we have to?”
He raised his brow and stared at her. “You get that I love you, right?” Seth leaned his head against hers as he said it. “No matter what.”
She paused, tensed, and then her words tumbled out too fast. “Keenan kissed me.”
“Figured that.” He kept an arm around her as they resumed walking.
“What?” Her skin flickered as her anxiety spiked.
“He was being weird. You were weird.” Seth shrugged, but he didn’t alter his pace. “I’m not blind, Ash. I see it. Whatever this tie is between you two is getting worse as summer comes.”
“It is. I’m trying to ignore it, but it’s not easy. But I will. Are you mad?”
He paused, weighing his words before telling her. “No. Not pleased, but I expect it of him. It’s not about what he did. Tell me what you want.”
“You.”
“Forever?”
“If there were a way.” She held tight to his waist like he was going to vanish if she let go. It hurt. His skin was mortal, and hers wasn’t. “There isn’t, though. I can’t make you this.”
“What if I want that?” he asked.
“It’s not something you should want. I don’t want to be this. Why would—” She slipped in front of him and looked up at him. “You know I love you. I love only you. If I didn’t have you in my life…I don’t know what I’m going to do when you”—she shook her head—“but we don’t have to think about this. I told him no when he kissed me. I told him that I love you, and he’s only my friend. I resisted him when I was mortal, and I’ll do it now.”
“But?”
“It’s like a pressure inside me sometimes. Like being away from him is wrong.” She looked desperate, like she wanted him to tell her the lies that she was trying to tell herself. “It’ll get easier with time. It has to. This being-a-faery thing is new. And his being unbound is new. It’s just…it has to get easier with time or practice or something, right?”
He couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear. They both knew it wasn’t getting easier.
She looked down and lowered her voice, “I asked Donia…before. About you becoming this. She told me it was a curse, and she couldn’t do it, and neither could I…or Keenan. Keenan didn’t change me or the Summer Girls. Neither did Beira. That was something Irial did. It’s not something we can do.”
“So…Niall…”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” She leaned into his embrace, but her words weren’t ones he wanted to hear. “But maybe it’s better this way. You getting cursed so we can be together isn’t cool. What if you hate me someday? Look at Don and Keenan. They’re stuck dealing with each other forever now, and they fight all the time. Look at the Summer Girls. They’ll wither away without their king. Why would I want that for you? I love you…and being this…My mother died rather than be a faery.”
“But I want to be near you always,” he reminded her.
“But you’ll lose everyone else, and…”
“I want forever with you.” Seth lifted her chin so he was able to look directly into her eyes. “The rest will fall into place if I can be with you.”
She shook her head. “Even if I didn’t think it was a bad idea, I can’t make it happen.”
“If you could…”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t want to have power over you, and I don’t trust Niall, even if he could…and…” She was getting more and more upset as she spoke. Sparks flickered from her body. “I do want you with me, but I don’t want to lose you. What if you were like the Summer Girls? Or—”
“What if I wasn’t? What if I die because some faery is stronger than me?” Seth asked. “What if you need me and I can’t be there because I’m mortal? Being only halfway in your world makes me vulnerable.”
“I know. Tavish says I should set you free.”
“I’m not a pet to be released into the wild. I’m in love with you, and I know what I want.” Seth kissed her, hoping his emotions were as clear in his touch as he was trying to make them in his words. The sun sparks tingled against his skin—electricity and heat and some weird energy that mortal words couldn’t name.
Forever. Like this. It was what he wanted; it was what she wanted too.
He pulled away, half drunk on her touch. “Forever together.”
She was smiling then. “Maybe there’s another way. We can…Tell me we’ll be okay either way?”