I stood there, and the men stood back, looking at me.

"She is very pretty," said Publius. "'Lita' would be a good name for her." "I think so," said Drusus Rencius.

I stood there, being inspected. I had been afraid that Publius, when he bad been conducting me to the pool of light, and placed me here, might have touched me. I could not have prevented it, in such a brief garment, with no nether closure, my hands braceleted helplessly behind my back, but he had not done so. Had he done so, of course, my condition of arousal would have been made humiliatingly and embarrassingly evident to him. I hoped that my need was not somehow evident, subtly so, in my appearance and behavior, Perhaps through body cues. I hoped, too, they could not smell "Kneel down here, Lady Lita, in the light," said Publius.

I knelt down, in the pool of light. I kept my knees closely together. I was confused, and frightened. I was kneeling before men.

"Are you sure she is free?" asked Publius.

"Yes," said Drusus Rencius.

"Interesting," said Publius. He then walked slowly about me, looking at me, and, then, again, stood a few feet before me, looking down at me.

"Look at her," he said.

"Yes?" said Drusus.

"Closely," said Publius.

"Yes?" inquired Drusus.

"Do you not see?'" asked Publius.

"What?" asked Drusus.

"She has the softness, the femininity, the look of a slave about her," he said. "I assure you," smiled Drusus, "she' is far from a slave."

"I do not think so," said Publius. "I think she is a natural slave, and would train superbly to the collar."

Drusus threw back his head and laughed at the absurdity of this thought. I myself did not find it so amusing.

"Does anyone know she is here?" asked Publius.

"No," said Drusus.

"Why do we not then enslave her?" asked Publius. "No, Lady Lita," he said, "do not rise to your feet." I had almost leapt up. My wrists wildly, suddenly, had jerked against the bracelets. They had not yielded, of course. They were not made to yield. I knelt back then, in the light, on my heels.

"It would not be difficult," said, Publius. "We could transport her from the city. Then, elsewhere, when she is suitably branded, and her neck is locked in a proper collar, when she' is fully and inescapably a slave, absolutely rightness, and in your power, we might make test of the matter."

"This woman is not a slave," said Drusus Rencius.

"A silver tarsk says she is," laughed Publius.

"How are things in Ar?" asked Drusus Rencius. "I have I not been there for a long time."

"I will get the paga," said Publius. The men then drank, and spoke of small things while I knelt in the light, braceleted, and was seldom, I think in their mind or attention. Once I noticed that my knees had opened somewhat, without my really thinking about it. I quickly closed them. I hoped no one had noticed. I wondered if I was a slave. Publius thought so, and he was a slaver. He had been willing to put a silver tarsk on the matter. I looked at Drusus. Something in me seemed to say, "You lose your tarsk, Drusus Rencius. She is a slave." Then I hastily thrust such a horrifying thought from my mind.

"Please, Drusus," I had said. "My hands have been braceleted long enough. I am beginning to feel too helpless, too much like a slave. Please release me." "I will release you in the room," he had said.

I had then continued to follow him, still braceleted, through the alleys, toward the inn of Lysias.

Why did lie not release me now? Why did be still keep mc braceleted, like a slave? Could he not see that I was almost overcome with emotion? Could he not see my misery, my distress? Could be not see how overwrought I was? Could he not see the difficulty I was having, fighting myself?

We were approaching closer and closer to the inn of Lysias. This excited and thrilled me, but, too, it frightened and terrified me. There I would be alone with Drusus Rencius, a Gorean male, in the room. What would I do? How would I act?

I moaned to myself.

I wished to run to the room, and I wished to hang back, almost as though against a leash.

Emotions raged within me, furies and resentments lingering ro~ my Earth conditionings, residues of masculine values which I had been encouraged to espouse and exemplify, and, leased on Gor, welling up from deeply within me, from what sources I could scarcely dare conjecture, alarming me, concerting me, almost overpowering feelings of helplessness, vulnerability and femininity. I did not know what to do. I did not know how to act.

"I am free," I cried to myself, "I am free! Free!"

But I was half naked and my hands were braceleted behind Each step, too, was taking me closer to the room!

I wished that I had never seen slaves, and the house of Kuenes. I wished I had never known how beautiful they _e, and how they were dominated by men, and must obey! ~ished that I had never felt these powerful emotions, in all

ir irresistibility, profundity and depth! But then I knew

t this was false. It is better to feel than not to feel. I was

overwhelmingly moved by having seen slaves, and thlilled to

re been permitted, even on a license, to see the house of

omenes. Even though I myself was surely not a s~ve my

,I knew, was a thousand times richer for having realized

t such things existed, for having seen such basic, deep, hu- and real things.

"How do you know that you are not a slave, Tiffany?" I asked myself. "How do you know that you are different from those other girls? How do you know that you are not, as Publius suggested, a natural slave? How do you know tile collar would not be quite appropriate for you? How do you know it does not, in fact, rightfully belong on you?"

"No," I said to myself, almost poutingly, "I am free!"

Then something within me, frightening me, seemed to laugh, derisively. "You are a slave, Tiffany," it said. "You know you are a slave. You have known it, in one way or another, in your heart, for years."

"No!" I said to myself. "No!" "But, yes, Slave," said the voice within me, insistently, derisively, mocking me. "No!" I said. "Yes," it whispered. "Yes, yes."

I wondered if I was a slave. The thought thrilled me, and terrified me.

Why had Drusus Rencitis not freed me from the bracelets!

We were not now in the house of Kliomenes!

"I will release you in the room," he had said.

Why would he not release me now? Why could he not be of help to me? Could he not see how I was fighting myself!

I wondered if she who was helpless in his bracelets was a slave.

Oddly enough I had felt most a slave, most dominated, ill the house of Kliomenes when, in the office of Publius, the men had talked, and I had knelt alone and to one side, my head down, in the light, neglected, braceleted, waiting for the men, the masters, "to finish.

I hurried along in the alley behind Drusus Rencius.

I tried to fight the emotions flsin'g in me, welling up, irresistibly, from my very depths. I was confused and torn. In me conditioning warred with nature. Men were the masters. Did they not know that? Why did they not enforce their power', their will on us? Could they not see what we wanted, what we needed? Were they so inattentive and insensitive? Were they so stupid, so blind? Could they not see that I, in order to attain my perfection, needed the weight of a chain, the tas~ St of a whip? Could they not see that I could not be perfect until my will was taken from me, and I must serve will-lesslyl Could "they not see that this was what I wanted? I was not man. I was a woman! I wanted to surrender to nature, but feared, mightily, to do so. I sensed what a woman might become if she surrendered to nature. I scarcely dared think i~ an let alone speak it, How categorical, how fearful, how absolute and such a thing would be! Yet I longed for it. I wished a man would throw me to my belly and lock a collar on my throat.