“Well…” How to say this?

At that moment Theo appeared in the hallway outside the breakfast room. He looked at me with raised eyebrows, as if wondering if I was all right. He held up a thumb and gave a questioning expression. I nodded and returned the thumbs-up. I’m okay, I mouthed.

As Theo turned away, Sam spoke again. “So who else are you with? Charlie?”

“No. I asked Charlie to come. But he’s got a job.”

Sam coughed as if he was choking, then laughed. “Charlie has a job?”

“I know, I know. I couldn’t believe it, either. It’s at WGN, the radio station.”

“Incredible.”

“I know.”

“So who are you with then?” He never was able to leave any detail unresolved behind when we were dating, and apparently he wasn’t going to break that habit now.

“He’s a friend of mine.”

Through the silence, I could almost hear Sam stewing.

“Who is he?”

In our life together I’d never wished that Sam and I had known each other less, had understood each other less, but now that’s exactly what I wished for. I really didn’t want this conversation. “It’s just someone I’m dating.”

“Huh. I guess I don’t have to feel so bad about Alyssa.”

“I don’t know about that. I wouldn’t have had this person come to Italy if I hadn’t seen what I’d seen in your apartment.”

“So it’s my fault?”

“There is no fault here. He’s a friend and he’s visiting me. That’s all.”

“What’s his name?”

“Theo.”

“How did you meet?”

“I don’t think we’ve been broken up long enough to have this conversation.”

“We’re going to stay friends, right?”

“Yes.”

“Friends have these conversations.”

I bit my lip. It sounded logical, but wrong. And yet, having this conversation, this awkward and yet normal conversation, appealed to me, felt like a balm in contrast to being hunted by scary men in a city I didn’t know.

“Tell me, Iz,” Sam said softly.

“Okay, well, I met him when I was out with a friend one night.”

“How long ago?”

“It was back in April, but we haven’t been dating the whole time.”

A silence. “Do you like this guy?” He sounded hurt, and I almost felt bad about it.

“Yeah, I do like him.”

“You must. You invited him to Europe with you.”

“It’s a long story, Sam. I didn’t exactly invite him. He has his own plane and so…”

“Whoa. You’re dating a dude with his own plane?”

“It’s a corporate share.”

“How old is he? Sixty?” Sam asked with faint scorn.

“If you must know, he’s in his early twenties.” I said this with some pride in my voice, then immediately felt embarrassed.

“Well, well, well,” Sam said. “Someone in their early twenties.”

“Hey.” I sounded defensive now. “I’m in my twenties.”

“Not for long.”

“I’m surprised you remembered.” I immediately regretted saying it. “I’m sorry I said that.” I stood from the breakfast table and walked to the window, which overlooked a tiny Naples alleyway, dim now but for a few soccer flags flying under a streetlamp. The rain tapped away on the glass, sounding like a soft but distinct drum.

“Iz,” Sam said with weight in his voice, “this whole thing makes me so sad.”

“Me, too. But that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be happening.”

“No. It has to go down this way. This has to be more than a break. This has to be it for now. I mean-”

I interrupted him. “You don’t have to say it. I know it as well as you do.” I stared down at the cobblestoned alley, watching the rain run in rivulets through the cracks. “We’re over.”

He said nothing, but I heard, very clearly, his silent yes.

When I got back to the room, Bernard and Maggie were on one twin bed, Maggie flat on her back, snoring with her mouth wide-open, while Bernard hung over the side, huddled into a tight ball, apparently trying not to disturb her, and snoring softly himself.

Theo sat on the other bed, and he looked up when I came in. He patted the space next to him. I sat down.

“This is all so crazy,” I whispered. “Are you freaking?”

“I guess I should be, but…” He shook his head. “You gotta tell me, though, are you always like this?”

“Like what?”

“Drama.”

“I’m not drama!”

“Shh.” He pointed at Maggie and Bernard, neither of whom stirred a bit.

“I am not drama.”

“Dude, when I met you-”

“When you met me there was no drama. Not even a little!”

“Okay, I guess that’s true, but within a week or so it was Drama Central.”

“I’m not like this all the time. I swear.” I paused and then thought about it. “You know what? It’s true that I’m not usually Drama Central. Honestly.” I looked at my left hand where my engagement ring used to be. “But it has been a bizarre year. I’ve never told you about my fiancé. My ex-fiancé. There was a lot of stuff that went on there.” I waved a hand. “But you know what? Now that I think about it, that craziness has brought me a lot of good, too. It’s almost like it pulled a scab off of me, something I didn’t know was there, and it opened me up to everything. Everything. I mean, I’ve been tested in so many different ways, and generally, I’m pretty proud of the way I’ve responded. But I’m still the same Izzy I always was.” I turned to face Theo, crossed my legs. “So it’s been crazy, but the crazy keeps bringing interesting stuff into my life.”

“And that’s a good thing?”

I reached out and tucked a lock of his silky hair behind one of his ears, looked at the pillow puff of his bottom lip. “Yeah. A really good thing. I met you. And I’ve met some other amazing people, too. And my friends and family have shown me that they’re there for me no matter what. I guess I always knew that, but it’s nice to see.” I held out my hand and grabbed his. I squeezed it. “But, anyway, you’re right. It has been drama. I guess. And I’m seriously sorry if it’s put drama in your life.”

He leaned toward me, kissed my forehead. Then he looked down at my new necklace and lifted the stone. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about this.”

“I got it from my aunt. She got it from her mom, my grandmother.”

He tugged gently on my necklace, tugging me with it until we were close, our faces just an inch from each other. He kissed me again, this time on my lips. Slow. “I think we need to find another room.”

“Why?”

He grinned.

“Are you serious?” I whispered. “You still want to fool around with me with all this going on?”

He nodded.

I laughed, then stood up. “Let’s go.”

We went in search of an innkeeper to ask for our own room, but everything was shut down for the night, and no one was around. I led him into the breakfast room, closed the door behind us and turned off the lamp. It was dark now, only the alley lights barely seeping through the windows. The rain began to pound harder against them, blocking out all other sounds.

Theo picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist.

“This is getting to be a favorite position of ours,” I said.

“Mmm-hmm.” His mouth was on my neck, just below my ear.

He walked, my legs still around him, until he reached the table at the far side of the room, where everything was covered in darkness. He sat me down on the table and drew me closer. I thought I knew what he would do. I thought he would do exactly what we’d been doing in my condo stairwell the few nights before I left town. But instead, he put his arms around me and embraced me gently. For minutes. I don’t know how many exactly, but they were long, soothing minutes.

And then he started kissing me. He kissed me as though there was nothing else he wanted to do, not at that moment, not ever. He seemed to be drawing something out of me, something from a very small pit deep inside me that the eye couldn’t see, a place that held calm and clarity. With every kiss, I felt myself loosening, felt that calm rising to the surface.