Especially then, I answered myself. For who else could be trusted with such power? We are indeed a very pragmatic family.
More wine, and then I fumbled with my pipe, cleaning it, repacking it.
"That, basically, is my story to date," I said, regarding my handiwork, rising and taking a light from the lamp. "After I recovered my sight, I managed to escape, fled Amber, tarried for a time in a place called Lorraine, where I encountered Ganelon, then came here."
"Why?" I reseated myself and looked at him again.
"Because it is near to the Avalon I once knew," I said.
I had purposely refrained from mentioning any earlier acquaintanceship with Ganelon, and hoped that he would take a cue from it. This shadow was near enough to our Avalon so that Ganelon should be familiar with its topography and most of its customs. For whatever it was worth, it seemed politic to keep this information from Benedict.
He passed over it as I thought he might, buried there where it was beside more interesting digging.
"And of your escape?" he asked. "How did you manage that?"
"I had help, of course," I admitted, "in getting out of the cell. Once out- Well, there are still a few passages of which Eric is unaware."
"I see," he said, nodding-hoping, naturally, that I would go on to mention my partisans' names, but knowing better than to ask.
I puffed my pipe and leaned back, smiling.
"It is good to have friends," he said, as if in agreement with some unvoiced thought I might be entertaining.
"I guess that we all have a few of them in Amber."
"I like to think so," he said. Then, "I understand you left the partly whittled cell door locked behind you, had set fire to your bedding, and had drawn pictures on the wall."
"Yes," I said. "Prolonged confinement does something to a man's mind. At least, it did to mine. There are long periods during which I know I was irrational."
"I do not envy you the experience, brother," he said. "Not at all. What are your plans now?"
"They are still uncertain."
"Do you feel that you might wish to remain here?"
"I do not know," I said. "What is the state of affairs here?"
"I am in charge," he said-a simple statement of fact, not a boast. "I believe I have just succeeded in destroying the only major threat to the realm. If I am correct, then a reasonably tranquil period should be at hand. The price was high"-he glanced at what remained of his arm-"but will have been worth it-as shall be seen before very long, when things have returned to normal."
He then proceeded to relate what was basically the same situation the youth had described, going on to tell how they had won the battle. The leader of the hellmaids slain, her riders had bolted and fled. Most of them were also slain then, and the caverns had been sealed once more. Benedict had decided to maintain a small force in the field for mopping-up purposes, his scouts the while combing the area for survivors.
He made no mention of the meeting between himself and their leader, Lintra.
"Who slew their leader?" I asked him.
"I managed it," he said, making a sudden movement with his stump, "though I hesitated a moment too long on my first blow."
I glanced away and so did Ganelon. When I looked back, his face had returned to normal and he had lowered his arm.
"We looked for you. Did you know that,- Corwin?" he asked. "Brand searched for you in many shadows, as did Gerard. You guessed correctly as to what Eric said after your disappearance that day. We were inclined to look farther than his word, however. We tried your Trump repeatedly, but there was no response. It must be that brain damage can block it. That is interesting. Your failure to respond to the Trump led us to believe you had died. Then Julian, Caine, and Random joined the search."
"All that? Really? I am astonished."
He smiled.
"Oh," I said then, and smiled myself.
Their joining the hunt at that point meant that it was not my welfare that concerned them, but the possibility of obtaining evidence of fratricide against Eric, so as to displace him or blackmail him.
"I sought for you in the vicinity of Avalon," he continued, "and I found this place and was taken by it. It was in a pitiful condition in those days, and for generations I worked to restore it to its former glory. While I began this in memory of you, I developed a fondness for this land and its people. They came to consider me their protector, and so did I."
I was troubled as well as touched by this. Was he implying that I had fouled things up terribly and that he had tarried here to put them in order-so as to clean up after his kid brother this one last time? Or did he mean that he realized I had loved this place- or a place very much like it-and that he had worked to set it in good order as something I might have wished done? Perhaps I was becoming oversensitive.
"It is good to know that I was sought," I said, "and it is very good to know that you are the defender of this land. I would like to see this place, for it does remind me of the Avalon that I knew. Would you have any objections to my visiting here?"
"That is all that you wish to do? Visit?"
"That is all that I had in mind."
"Know then that what is remembered of the shadow of yourself that once reigned here is not good. Children are not named Corwin in this place, nor am I brother to any Corwin here."
"I understand," I said. "My name is Corey. Can we be old friends?" He nodded.
"Old friends of mine are always welcome to visit here," he said.
I smiled and nodded. I felt insulted that he would entertain the notion that I had designs upon this shadow of a shadow: I, who had-albeit but for an instant -felt the cold fire of Amber's crown upon my brow.
I wondered what his attitude would have been had he known of my responsibility, when it came down to basics, for the raids. For that matter, I suppose, I was also responsible for the loss of his arm. I preferred to push things one step farther back, however, and hold Eric responsible. After all, it was his action that had prompted my curse.
Still, I hoped that Benedict would never find out I wanted very badly to know where he stood with respect to Eric. Would he support him, throw his weight behind me, or just stay out of the way when I made my move? Conversely, I was certain that he wondered whether my ambitions were dead or still smoldering- and if the latter, what my plans were for stoking them. So...
Who was going to raise the matter?
I took several good puffs on my pipe, finished my wine, poured some more, puffed again. I listened to the sounds of the camp, the wind, my stomach... Benedict took a sip of wine.
Then, "What are your long-range plans?" he asked me, almost casually.
I could say that I had not made up my mind yet, that I was simply happy to be free, alive, seeing... . I could tell him that that was enough for me, for now, that I had no special plans... .
... And he would know that I lied in my teeth. For he knew me better than that.
So, "You know what my plans are," I said.
"If you were to ask for my support," he said, "I would deny it. Amber is in bad enough shape without another power grab."
"Eric is a usurper."
"I choose to look upon him as regent only. At this time, any of us who claims the throne is guilty of usurpation."
"Then you believe Dad still lives?"
"Yes. Alive and distressed. He has made several attempts to communicate."
I succeeded in keeping my face from showing anything. So I was not the only one, then. To reveal my experiences at this point would sound hypocritical, opportunistic, or a flat lie-since in our seeming contact of five years ago he had given me the go-ahead to take the throne. Of course, he could have been referring to a regency then... .