"Why are you so kind? I've been nothing but trouble since that rider came down the wadi."
"You're my family. All I have. I live the way of the Disciple, unlike so many who profess his creed because it's politic."
"And yet you bow to Karkur."
He smiled. "One shouldn't overlook any possibility. I'll speak with Al Jahez. We'll go within the week."
Life in the hills, goatherding, was not unpleasant. The land was hard, reminding Narriman of home. But this was tamer country. Wolves and lions were few. The kids were not often threatened.
As her belly swelled and the inevitable drew nearer, she grew
ever more frightened. "Father, I'm not old enough for this. I'm going to die. I know it."
"No, you won't." He told her that her mother, too, had grown frightened. That all women were afraid. He did not try to convince her that her fears were groundless, only that fear was more dangerous than giving birth. "I'll be with you, I won't let anything happen. And AJ Jahez promises he'll send his finest midwife."
"Father, I don't understand why you're so good to me. And I'm baffled as to why he's so good to you. He can't care that much because you rode in his company."
Mowfik shrugged. "Perhaps because I saved his life at the Battle of the Circles. Also, there are more just men than you believe."
"You never talk about the wars. Except about places you saw."
"Those aren't happy memories, Little Fox. Dying and killing and dying. And in the end, nothing gained, either for myself or the glory of the Lord. Will you tell the young ones about these days when you're old? Those days weren't happy, but I saw more than any al Muburak before or since."
He was the only one of a dozen volunteers who survived. And maybe that, instead of the foreign wife, was why he had become an outcast. The old folks resented him for living when their sons were dead.
"What will we do with a baby. Father?"
"What? What people always do. Raise him to be a man."
"It'll be a boy, will it?"
"I doubt me not it will, but a girl will be as welcome." He chuckled.
"Will you hate him?"
"Hate him? We are talking about my daughter's child. I can hate the father, but not the infant. The child is innocent."
"You did travel in strange lands. No wonder the old ones didn't like you."
"Old ones pass on. Ideas are immortal. So says the Disciple."
She felt better afterward, but her fear never evaporated.
VII
"A fine son," the old woman said with a toothless smile. "A fine son. I foretell you now, little mistress, he'll be a great one. See it here, in his hands." She held the tiny, purplish, wrinkled, squalling thing high. "And he came forth with the cap. Only the
truly destined, the chosen ones, come forth with that. Aye, you've mothered a mighty one."
Narriman smiled though she heard not a tenth of the babble. She cared only that the struggle was over, that the pain had receded. There was a great warmth in her for the child, but she hadn't the strength to express it.
Mowfik ducked into the tent. "Sadhra. Is everything all right?" His face was pale. Dimly, Narriman realized he had been frightened too.
"Both came through perfectly. Al Jahez has a godson of whom he can be proud." She repeated her predictions.
"Old Mother, you'd better not tell him that. That smacks of superstition. He's strict about religious deviation."
"The decrees of men, be they mere men or Chosen of the Lord, can't change natural law. Omens are omens."
"May be. May be. Shouldn't you give her the child?"
"Aye. So I should. I'm hogging him because one day I'll be able to say I held such a one." She dropped the infant to Narriman's breast. He took the nipple, but without enthusiasm.
"Don't worry, little mistress. Soon he'll suckle hearty."
"Thank you, Sadhra," Mowfik said. "Al Jahez chose well. I'm in both your debts."
"It was my honor, sir." She left the tent.
"Such a one, eh, Little Fox? Making him the Hammer of God before he draws his first breath."
Narriman stared up at him. He wasn't just tired. He was disturbed. "The rider?"
"He's out there."
"I thought so. I felt him."
"I stalked him, but he eluded me. I didn't dare go far."
"Perhaps tomorrow." As she drifted into sleep, though, she thought, You'll never catch him. He'll deceive you with the Power. No warrior will catch him. Time or trickery will be his death.
She slept. And she dreamed of the rider and the way it had been for her the third time.
She dreamed that often. It was one thing she kept from Mowfik. He would not understand. She did not understand herself.
Maybe she was a whore at heart.
VIII
Narriman called the child Misr Sayed bin Hammad al Muburak, meaning he was Misr Sayed, son of the desert, of the al Muburak tribe. Hammad could be a man's name also, so it became that of her missing husband. Misr's grandfather, however, called him Towfik el-Masiri, or Camel's Feet, for reasons only he found amusing.
Misr grew quickly, learned rapidly, and was startlingly healthy. Seldom was he colicky or cranky, even when cutting teeth. He was happy most of the time, and always had a big hug for his grandfather. Narriman remained perpetually amazed that she could feel so much love for one person. "How do women love more than one child?" she asked.
Mowfik shrugged. "It's a mystery to me. I was my mother's only. You're your mother's only."
The first two years were idyllic. The baby and goats kept them too busy to worry. In the third year, though, Mowfik grew sour. His heart was not in his play with Misr. One day Narriman found him honing his war sword and watching the hills. Then she understood. He expected the rider.
The prospect fired her fantasies. She ached for the shaghun. She held her left hand near the fire till pain burned the lust away.
Shortly after Misr's third birthday Mowfik said, "I'm going to see Al Jahez. It's time you became Hammad's widow."
"Will we be safer there? Won't the shaghun just ride in like he did before?"
"Al Jahez thinks not. He thinks the priests can drive him away."
Narriman went to the tent flap, surveyed the unfriendly hills. "Go see him. I'm afraid to go back where people might cry shame, but I'm more scared of the shaghun."
"I'd hoped you'd feel that way."
She had begun to relax. The night had passed without incident. Mowfik should be back by noon. If she could stay too busy to worry... .
It was almost noon when Misr called, "Mama, Grandpa coming." She sighed, put her mending aside, and went to meet him.
"Oh, no. Karkur defend us." Misr could not be blamed for his mistake. He'd seldom seen anyone but Mowfik on horseback.
The shaghun was far down the valley, coming toward her. He seemed larger than life, like a far city seen through the shimmer
over the great erg. He came at an unhurried walk. The rise and fall of his animal's legs was hypnotic. He did not seem to draw
any closer.
"Go into the tent, Misr."
"Mama?"
"Do it. And don't come out till I tell you. No matter what."
"Mama, what's wrong?"
"Misr! Go!"
"Mama, you're scaring me."
She gave him her fiercest look. He scooted inside. "And close the flap." She turned. The rider looked twice as big but no nearer. His pace was no faster. The shame in her heart grew with the heat in her loins. She knew he would take her, and her evil side called to him eagerly.
He came closer. She thought of running into the hills. But what good that? He would hunt her down. And Misr would be left alone.
She snatched the bow Mowfik used for hunting, sped an arrow toward the rider. She missed.