Your first meeting is over, a success. You have only to do the same next time, with different speakers. There will always be business to transact and issues to discuss -politics is like that; you are not working in a vacuum. But since we have reached the subject of making speeches, let's kick it around a bit. It's not as hard as it seems. Here is a sure-fire formula which can be used over and over again:

This dodge is designed to permit you to speak before a small audience of unsympathetic people - the worst possible set up. A small group is much harder to face than a large; anybody can talk to a thousand people. You won't be asked to be principle speaker at a large meeting until you have acquired a reputation and public speaking has become second nature to you. Until that time, if you are called on to say something as a secondary speaker to a large audience you can say as little as a dozen words, speaking in praise of "good roads and good weather," complimenting the principal speaker, or the chairman, or the arrangements committee, or simply announcing your intention of voting the straight ticket. You can then say "I thank you" and sit down. The audience will appreciate your terseness and your stock will go up.

(I attended the dedication of Soldier's Field in Chicago in November 1926. The Vice-president of the United States spoke for three minutes, the Governor of Illinois spoke for seven minutes, the Mayor of Chicago spoke for ten minutes, and the city park official in charge of the field spoke for more than an hour. The audience was exposed to a driving snow and below-freezing temperature. Which speech was the most popular?)

As you become known as a politician you will be called to speak as principle speaker before small groups. The toughest assignment will be to make a non-partisan speech, not in support of a candidate nor an issue, before a non-partisan, non-political group, such as a Kiwanis Club or a ladies' church group. At first glance this seems an impossible task. How can you make a political talk and not talk about politics? There is a limit to the time you can spend declaring for good government and praising honesty in public office. Besides-it ain't news!

Watch me closely and you can learn the trick. I don't have any cards up my sleeve but I do have two dozen sharpened pencils concealed on my person.

Stand up. Bow to the chairwoman. "Madam Chairman - ladies - the worst thing about invitations like this is what it does to my waist line." Glance down. "It's an imposition to ask a man to speak after such a good lunch. What I need is a siesta.

"Audience-participation programs seem to be all the rage these days; there is no reason why we shouldn't have them in politics. I got this idea last night while listening to die Guess Again program-we're going to have a little try at being Quiz Kids." Haul out the pencils.

'Just in case any of you don't happen to have a pencil with you, I'vebroughta few spares. Will you ladies nearest me pass them along to diose who might need them? Now take a piece of paper, each of you." Don't provide paper yourself. Paper can always be found but there are never as many pencils in a crowd as there are people. The litde flurry caused by the search for paper gives you a breathing spell and a chance to size up your audience. During this period individuals will catch your eye and smile. You grin back and they get the impression that you are good to your mother and kind to small children. Remember John Henry's hog.

"Everybody fixed up? Let's start the quiz. Write your name at the top of your paper. Go on-don't be afraid. I promise, cross my heart, that I'll keep the result confidential. Nobody, nobody ... will see the papers but me. But I want to be able to announce die winners and I can't do diat if you insist on being anonymous. I ought to warn you diat there won't be any prizes odier than the pleasure of winning. Somehow I've never gotten acquainted with die sort of politics diat pays off in cash. Okay? First question:

"Write down die name of die President of die United States.

(Pause)

"Write die name of the governor of our state.

"Write die names of our two United States senators."

Go on down die list. Ask for die names of die local congressman, die local state senator, die local legislator, die county commissioner, supervisor, agent, or "presiding judge" - the tides vary but you want die chief elective county executive or legislative officials. Than ask for die name of die mayor of your town or city and die name of dieir local city councilman, alderman, or selectman. Ask only for elected officials who represent direcdy the people you are questioning. You can't hold diem responsible for appointed officials. Limit it to people diey have voted for or against and are dierefore presumed to know.

"Are you registered to vote?" and "Did you vote at the last primary election?" (Voting at a general election is no more indicative of civic virtue than is standing up when die band plays "The Star Spangled Banner.")

Then gather up the papers and look them over.

The results will amaze you and, if you are not braced for it, dishearten you. If you find one paper in which the respondent has answered more than half of the questions correcdy you are justified in naming her as a praiseworthy, intelligent citizen, especially if she voted in die last primary.

But it is unlikely that you will find anyone to praise. Most of them will stop after naming the President and the governor. There will be scattered answers thereafter, very scattered and about half of them wrong. Mostly you will see blank paper.

I remember one respected matron who thought that Prime Minister Chamberlain (1938) was a United States senator and I have even found people who could not name the President of the United States - although I classed such latter cases as sheer feeblemindedness and threw them out of my calculations.

You will now extemporize for about ten minutes on the subject of civic virtue, holding them up to themselves as horrible examples. You will point out that they voted for or against, or failed to vote, for each of the persons you asked about. You will ask them how in the name of all that's holy they can expect anything but a gang of crooks in office, and thank the stars and the mercy of heaven that a number of these public officials are honest statesmen despite the fact that the ladies of the East Squamous Community Church obviously don't give a hoot what happens to the country their ancestors and sons died to protect.

You can point to the ghosts of the martyrs of women suffrage and ask if this is the equality between the sexes they fought so hard for. You can point out that more of their family income goes into taxes than goes into groceries and ask them if it would not therefore be wise to give almost as much thought to the selection of a congressman as they do to the selection of a good head oflettuce.

The results of the questionnaire will make you so tarnation mad, when you think about the weary effort you have put into trying to drag this community up out of the mud, that you will make what may be the first really good public speech of your career. You will be feeling emotional and you will know your facts; the combination automatically produces a good speech.

Don't lambaste them too hard - resist the temptation. There are brands to be snatched from the burning even here. Try to make it more in sorrow than in anger; rouse their shame rather than stir up anger against you personally.

Some forthright old gal may state that she never wanted the vote. Don't scold her; praise her as an honest women and point out, gently, that she is free to throw away her franchise, just as the voters in Germany did. She has only to refuse to register and she automatically returns to the status of a child, a slave, or a domestic animal. Point out that it is a fair comparison since women were classed as all three only a hundred years ago.