Now, in every city into which I venture, uniforms rush upon me, dust dandruff from my collar, press a brochure into my hand, recite the latest weather report, pray for my soul, throw walk-shields over nearby puddles, wipe off my windshield, hold an umbrella over my head on sunny or rainy days, or shine an ultra-infra flashlight before me on cloudy ones, pick lint from my belly-button, scrub my back, shave my neck, zip up my fly, shine my shoes and smile--all before I can protest-- right hand held at waist-level. What a goddamn happy place the universe would be if everyone wore uniforms that glinted and crinkled. Then we'd all have to smile at each other.
I took the elevator up to the sixtieth floor, where the big place was. Then I realized that I should have called ahead from the hotel for a reservation. It was crowded. I'd forgotten that the following day was a holiday on Driscoll. The hostess took my name and told me fifteen or twenty minutes, so I went into one of a pair of bars and ordered a beer.
I looked about me as I sipped, and across the little foyer in the matching bar on the other side, hovering in the gloom, I saw a fat face that looked somewhat familiar. I slipped on a pair of special glasses which act like telescopes, and I studied the face, now in profile. The nose and the ears were the same. The hair was the wrong color and the complexion darker, but that's easily done.
I got up and started to walk that way when a waiter stopped me and told me that I couldn't carry a drink out of the place. When I told him I was going to the other bar, he offered to carry the drink for me, smiling, right hand at waist-level. I figured it would be cheaper to buy another one, so I told him he could drink it for me, too.
He was alone, a tiny glass of something bright before him. I folded my glasses and tucked them away as I approached his table, and in a fake-falsetto said, "May I join you, Mister Bayner?"
He jumped, just slightly, within his skin, and the fat only quivered for an instant. He photographed me with his magpie eyes in the following second, and I knew that the machine that lay behind them was already spinning its wheels like a demon on an exercise-bike.
"You must be mistaken--" he began, and smiled then, and followed that with a frown. "No, _I_ am," he corrected himself, "but then it's been a long time, Frank, and we've both changed."
"... Into our traveling clothes, yes," I said in my normal voice, seating myself across from him.
He caught the attention of a waiter as easily as if he'd had a lariat, and he asked me, "What are you drinking?"
"Beer," I said, "any brand."
The waiter overheard me, nodded, departed.
"Have you eaten?"
"No, I was waiting for a table, across the way there, when I spotted you."
"I've already eaten," he said. "If I hadn't indulged a sudden desire for an after-dinner drink on my way out, I might have missed you."
"Strange," I said, then, "Green Green."
"What?"
"_Verde Verde. Gr_n. Gr_n_."
"I'm afraid I don't follow you. Is that some kind of code-phrase I'm supposed to recognize?"
I shrugged.
"Call it a prayer for th-e confoundment of my enemies. What's new?"
"Now that you're here," he said, "I've got to talk with you, of course. May I join you?"
"Surely."
So, when they called for Larry Conner, we moved to a table in one of the countless dining rooms that filled that floor of the tower. We'd have had a pleasant view of the bay on a clear night, but the sky was overcast and an occasional buoy-light and an unpleasantly rapid searchlight were all that shone above the dark swells of the ocean. Bayner decided that he had a bit of an appetite left and ordered a full meal. He shoveled away a mound of spaghetti and a mess of bloody looking sausages before I'd half-finished my steak, and he moved on to shortcake, cheesecake and coffee.
"Ah, that was good!" he said, and he immediately inserted a toothpick into the upper portion of the first smile I'd seen him smile in, say, forty years.
"Cigar?" I offered.
"Thank you, I believe I will."
The toothpick went away, the cigars were lit, the check arrived. I always do that in crowded places when they're slow to bring me the check. A lit stogie, a quick blue haze and they're right beside me with the tab.
"This is on me," he announced as I accepted the bill.
"Nonsense. You're my guest."
"Well ... All right."
After all, Bill Bayner is the forty-fifth wealthiest man in the galaxy. It isn't every day I get a chance to dine with successful people.
As we left, he said, "I've got a place where we can talk. I'll drive."
So we took his car, leaving a uniform and a frown behind us, and spent about twenty minutes driving around the city, shaking off hypothetical tails, and we finally arrived at an apartment building about eight blocks from Bartol Towers. As we entered the lobby, he nodded to the doorman, who nodded back to him.
"Think it'll rain tomorrow?" he asked.
"Clear," said the doorman.
Then we rode up to the sixth floor. The wainscotting in the hallway was full of artificial gems, some of which had to be eyes. We stopped and he knocked at an ordinary-looking door: three, pause, two, pause, two. He'd change it tomorrow, I knew. A dour-faced young man in a dark suit answered the door, nodded, and departed when Bayner gestured over his shoulder with a thumb. Inside, he secured the door, but not before I'd noticed from its edge that a metal plate was sandwiched between its inner and outer veneers of fake wood. For the next five or ten minutes, he tested the room with an amazing variety of bug-detection equipment, after giving me a keep-quiet sign, and then set several bug-scramblers into operation as an added precaution, sighed, removed his jacket and hung it on the back of a chair, turned to me and said, "It's okay to talk now. Can I fix you a drink?"
"Are you sure it'll be safe?"
He thought about it for a moment, then said, "Yes."
"Then I'll have bourbon and water if you've got it."
He withdrew into the next room and returned after about a minute with two glasses. His was probably filled with tea if he was planning on talking any kind of business with me. I couldn't have cared less.
"So what's up?" I asked him.
"Damn it, the stories they tell about you are true, aren't they? How'd you find out?"
I shrugged.
"But you're not going to move in on me on this one, not the way you did on those Vegan mining franchises."
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said.
"Six years ago."
I laughed.
"Listen," I told him, "I don't pay much attention to what my money does, so long as it's there when I want it. I trust various people to handle it for me. If I got a good deal in the Vegan system six years ago, it's because some good man in my employ lined it up. I don't run around shepherding money the way you do. I've delegated all that."
"Sure, sure, Frank," he said. "So you're incognito on Driscoll and you arrange to run into me the night before I deal. Who'd you buy on my staff?"
"Nobody, believe me."
He looked hurt.
"I'd tell _you_," he said. "I won't hurt him. I'll just transfer him somewhere where he won't do any more harm."
"I'm really not here on business," I said, "and I ran into you by pure chance."
"Well, you're not going to grab the whole thing this time, whatever you've got up your sleeve," he said.
"I'm not even in the running. Honest."
"Damn it!" he said. "Everything was going so smoothly!" and his right fist smashed against his left palm.
"I haven't even seen the product," I said.
He got up and stalked out of the room, came back and handed me a pipe.
"Nice pipe," I said.
"Five thousand," he told me. "Cheap."
"I'm really not much of a pipe-smoker."