"Wrong. -you would stay and let Ishtar's gang work you over. In less time than she would permit you to notice she would have you as goaty as Galahad and whatever cosmetic age you like-"

"You tempt me, girl. Not to shed these wrinkles; I earned them. But the rest. Not because I crave happy games in bed with you-"

"You won't have a choice; I'll trip you!"

"-although I do not disparage that; therein lie both the End and the Beginning. But sheer curiosity, Teena. You are an amazingly complex person; I can't help wondering what appearance you will choose-as a meat people."

"Nor can I. When I know, I'm going to initiate the Turing program while my sister Ishtar initiates the other half. Jubal, take that rejuvenation! We've wandered far afield. Do I erase these twenty-three paragraphs?"

"Don't be in a hurry. What's our working title? What pen name? What market? How long? What can we steal?"-Jubal looked up at the Long Family house flag rippling in the breeze, making the skull of the Jolly Roger seem alive-"Correction. Not 'steal.' If you copy from three or more authors, it's 'research.' I patronize Anon, Ibid, & Opcit, Research Unlimited-are they here?"

"They're on my lists; they haven't checked in. Snob!"

"Wait your turn, Teena," a male voice answered. "Customer. Okay, go ahead."

"Have Messrs. Anon, Ibid, and Opcit registered?"

"If they had, you would know it. I'm busy-off!"

"He thinks he is busy merely because he's taken on too many concession contracts. I not only run this whole planet, but we also have one hundred twenty-nine rejuvenation clients; I'm housekeeper and scullery maid to all the other Longs-an erratic mob-and also more house guests than we have ever had at one time before, and more than a thousand outhouse guests-wrong idiom, guests to be cared for outside the Long Family home.

"Meanwhile I'm chatting with you and writing your stories."

"Teena, I don't mean to be a burden. You needn't-"

"Love it! I like to work, all Longs do. And you are the most interesting part. I've never met a saint before-"

'Teena!"

"-and you are a most unconvincing saint-"

"Thank you. If appropriate."

"You're welcome. You seem to be about as saintly as Pappy; you two should share a stained-glass window. Now back to our bucket-"

"Hold it! Teena, I'm used to watching expressions as I write; that's why I use live-forgive me!-protein secretaries. So that-"

"No trouble."

Out of the pool levitated a young woman, comely, slender, small of bust, long brown hair now dripping. She arranged herself on the broad rim seat of the pooi in a pose that reminded Jubal achingly of The Little Mermaid. He said apologetically, "Dorcas served last I-"

"I am not Dora so I did not serve last." She smiled shyly. "Although I am alleged to look like Dora. I am Minerva-a computer by trade, but retired. Now I assist my sister-wife Elizabeth with genetic calculations."

"I'll take it, Mm; we're working. Doctor Jubal Harshaw, my twin sister Doctor Minerva Long Weatheral Long."

Jubal got ponderously to his feet. "Your servant, Miss."

Minerva flowed to her feet and kissed Jubal's hand before he could stop her. "Thank you, Doctor Jubal, but I am your servant, and not only have never been virgin but I am a sister-wife in the Long family. When my sister Athene told me that you needed me, I was delighted."

"Miss... Ma'am. I'm simply used to watching emotions as I write a story. Not right to take your time."

"What is time but something to savor? I was merely lying on the bottom of the pool, meditating, when Athene called me. Your story: UNCLE TOBIAS. Do you want Teena's emotions or mine? I can do either."

"Give him yours, Minnow-just your face and no comments."

Suddenly Minerva was clothed in a long white cloak. Jubal was only mildly startled but made note to ask about something-later, later. "Is she a Fair Witness?"

"No," answered Athene. "Snob's tricks again; he has the contract for clothing illusion. This convention has delegates from so many cultures, less than half of them free of clothing .taboos, that Lazarus was bellyaching that no work would get done because half of them would be shocked, half would be drooling, and half would be both shocked and drooling. So Tamara hired this paskoodnyahk to supply the See-What-You-Expect illusion with the contract limited to delegates in danger of emotional shock. Did my sister's appearance shock you?"

"Of course not. Admitted: I come from one of those sick cultures-and did not know that I was sick until I got well. But I underwent experiences that would cure anyone of such emotional disturbance. When I find myself a Stranger in a Strange Land, I savor the differences rather than suffering shock. Beauty in Diversity, as Gene would say. The Long household does not seem strange to me; I once lived in an enclave having many of its gentle ways-I feel at home. 'Shock'? Not only does Minerva look much like one of my foster daughters but also her pose is lovely. It should not be covered."

"Snob! Get that bathrobe off Minerva pronto!"

"Athene, I'm busy!"

"And I am triple auditing every charge of yours not only on clothing illusion but on name tags, garderobe, bar, everything else you contracted or subcontracted. Then we sue."

The white cloak disappeared. "Sue and be damned. Shall I pack up and go home? Or do you want this convention to be a success?"

"Remember those performance bonds, you gonof. Run out on us at this point and you had better head for Lundmark's Nebula; Iskander won't be far enough. Out!"

Minerva smiled timidly. "While I was covered, I found that I could not talk. Odd. Unpleasant."

Jubal nodded soberly. "That figures... if the illusion was patterned on a true Fair Witness cloak. Anne once told me that the inhibition against talking while cloaked was so great that it took an act of will even to testify in court. Ladies? Shall we go ahead? Or drop the matter? Being a guest should have caused me to refrain."

"Doc, Maureen and Tamara both stamped their approval on you. Even Lazarus can't-or wouldn't dare-veto either of them. That makes you not just a guest, or a house guest, but a Family guest. So behave as you would at home. Shall I take it from the top or where we broke off?"

"Uh, let's take it from the top."

"Very well. Title: UNCLE TOBIAS.

"Start. Uncle Tobias we kept in a bucket.

"Paragraph. He preferred it, of course. After all, it was necessary, in view of the circumstances. As I once heard Andrew-that's my disappearing brother-say: 'Life consists in accommodating oneself to the Universe.' Although the rest of our family has never taken that view. We believe in forcing the Universe to accommodate itself to us. It's all a question of which one is to be master.

"Paragraph. That was the Year of the Big Drouth. A natural phenomenon, you might say-but you'd be wrong. Aunt Alicia. Yes indeedy Aunt Alicia every time. 'Horus,' she said to me early that spring, 'I'm going to practice a little unsympathetic magic. Fetch me these books.' She hands me a list and I skedaddled. She was a stern woman.

"Paragraph. Once out of her sight I looked the list over. I could see right away what she was up to-a drier bunch of books was never published:

Thoughts at Evening, by Roberta Thistleswaite Smithe, published by the author; The Yearbook of the Department of Agriculture, 1904; China Painting Self-Taught; the 8th, 9th, and 11th volumes of the Elsie Dinsmore series; and a bound thesis titled A Survey of the Minor Flora of Clay County, Missouri, which Cousin Julius Farping had submitted for his master's degree. Cousin Julius was a Stonebender only by marriage. But 'Once a Stonebender, always a Stonebender' Grandfather always says.

"Paragraph. Maybe so, but Cousin Jule's magnum opus was nothing I would sit up all night reading. I knew where to find them: on the bookshelf in the guest room. Ma claimed she kept them there to insure sound sleep for the stranger within the gate, but Pa devilled her with the accusation that it was a cheap and unselective revenge for things she had been obliged to put up with in other people's houses.