"Ground cover doesn't prove running water. This place may be a 'dead sea bottom of Barsoom."

"Doesn't look dead," Aunt Hilda countered. "It's pretty."

"Yes, but this looks like a dead sea bottom. Which gave me an idea. Hold up your hair; I want to arrange your necklaces."

"What idea?" Aunt Hilda demanded.

"Zebadiah told me to figure a third escape program. The first two-I'll paraphrase, Gay is awake. One tells her to take us back to a height over Snug Harbor; the other tells her to scoot back to where she was before she was last given the first order."

"I thought that one told her to place us over the Grand Canyon?"

"It does, at present. But if she got the first Order now, that would change the second order. Instead of over the Grand Canyon, we would be back here quicker'n a frog could wink its eye."

"Okay if you say so."

"She's programmed that way. Hit the panic button and we are over our cabin site. Suppose we arrive there and find trouble, then use the 'C' order. She takes us back to wherever she last got the 7' order. Dangerous or we would not have left in a rush. So we need a third escape program, to take us to a safe place. This looks safe."

"It's peaceful."

"Seems so. There!-more doodads than a Christmas tree and you look nakeder than ever."

"That's the effect we want, isn't it? Sit down in the copilot's seat; I'll do your hair."

"Want shoes?" I asked.

"On Barsoom? Dejah Thoris, thank you for your little-girl shoes. But they pinch my toes. You're going to wear shoes?"

"Not bleedin' likely, Aunt Nanny Goat. I toughened my feet for karate-I can break a four-by-nine with my feet and get nary a bruise. Or run on sharp gravel. What's a good escape phrase? I plan to store in Gay an emergency signal for every spot we visit that looks like a safe hidey-hole. So give me a phrase."

"Your mudder chaws terbacker!"

"Nanny Goat! A code-phrase should have a built-in mnemonic."

"'Bug Out'?"

"A horrid expression and just what we need. 'Bug Out' will mean to take us to this exact spot. I'll program it. And post it and others on the instrument board so that, if anyone forgets, she can read it."

"And so could any outsider, if she got in."

"Fat lot of good it would do her! Gay ignores an order not in our voices. Hello, Gay."

"Hello, Deety!"

"Retrieve present location. Report."

"Null program."

"Are we lost?"

"Not at all, Aunt Hilda. I was sloppy. Gay, program check. Define 'Home."

"Cancel any-all transitions translations rotations inertials. Return to zerodesignated latitude longitude two kiicks above ground level hovering."

"Search memory reversed-real-time for last order execute-coded Gay Deceiver take us home."

"Retrieved."

"From time of retrieved order integrate to time-present all transitions translations rotations inertials."

"Integrated."

"Test check. Report summary of integration."

"Origin 'Home.' Countermarch program executed. Complex maneuver inertials. Translation Tau axis ten minimals positive. Complex maneuver inertials. Translation Eli axis two-two-four-zero-nine-zero-eight-two-seven point zero klicks. Negative vector Eli axis twenty-four klicks per sec. Negative vector Ell axis four klicks per sec. Complex manuever inertials. Grounded here-then oh-eight-oh-two-forty-nine. Grounded inertials continuing eight hours three minutes nineteen seconds mark! Grounded inertials continue running realtime."

"New program. Here-now grounded inertial location real-time running to reai-time new execute order equals code-phrase bug-out. Report new program."

Gay answered: "New program code-phrase bug-out: Definition: Here-now grounded inertials running real-time to future-time execute order code-phrase bug-out."

"Gay, I tell you three times."

"Deety, I hear you three times."

"New program. Execute-coded Gay Deceiver Bug Out.. At execute-code move to location coded 'bug-out.' I tell you three times."

"I hear you three times."

"Gay Deceiver, you're a smart girl."

"Deety, why don't you leave that big ape and live with me? Over."

"Good night, Gay. Roger and out. Hillbilly, I didn't give you that answer." I tried to look fierce.

"Why, Deety, how could you say such a thing?"

"I know I didn't. Well?"

"I 'fess up, Deetikins. A few days ago while you and I were working, you were called away. While I waited, I stuck that in. Want it erased?"

I don't know how to look fierce; I snickered. "No. Maybe Zebadiah will be around the next time it pops up. I wish our men would wake, I do."

"They need rest, dear."

"I know. But I want to check that new program."

"It sounded complex."

"Can be, by voice. I'd rather work on paper. A computer doesn't accept excuses. A mistake can be anything from 'null program' to disaster. This one has features I've never tried. I don't really understand what Pop does. NonEuclidean n-dimensional geometry is way out in left field."

"To me it's not in the ball park."

"So I'm itchy."

"Let's talk about something else."

"Did I show you our micro walky-talkies?"

"Jacob gave me one."

"There's one for each. Tiny but amazingly long-ranged. Uses less power than a hand calculator and weighs less-under two hundred grams. Mass, I mean-weight here is much less. Today I thought of a new use. Gay can accept their frequency."

"That's nice. How do you plan to use this?"

"This car can be remote-controlled."

"Deety, who would you want to do that?"

I admitted that I did not know. "But Gay can be preprogrammed to do almost anything. For example, we could go outside and tell Gay, via walkytalky, to carry out two programs in succession: H, 0, M, E, followed by B, U,G, 0, U, T. Imagine Zebadiah's face when he wakes up from sun in his eyes- because his car has vanished-then his expression two hours later when it pops back into existence."

"Deety, go stand in the corner for thinking such an unfunny joke!" Then Aunt Hilda looked thoughtful. "Why would it take two hours? I thought Gay could go anywhere in no time."

"Depends on your postulates, Princess Thuvia. We took a couple of hours to get here because we fiddled. Gay would have to follow that route in reverse because it's the only one she knows. Then-" I stopped, suddenly confused. "Or would it be four hours? No, vectors would cancel and- But that would make it instantaneous; we would never know that she had left. Or would we? Aunt Hilda, I don't know! Oh, I wish our men would wake up, I do!" The world wobbled and I felt scared.

"I'm awake," Pop answered, his head just showing above the doorsill. "What's this debate?" He gave Aunt Hilda a lecherous leer. "Little girl, if you'll come up to my room, I'll give you some candy."

"Get away from me, you old wolf!"

"Hilda my love, I could sell you down to Rio and retire on the proceeds. You look like expensive stuff."

"I'm very expensive stuff, darling wolf. All I want is every cent a man has and constant pampering-then a fat estate when he dies."

"I'll try to die with plenty of money in the bank, dearest."

"Instead we're both dead and our bank accounts have gone Heaven knows where and I haven't a rag to my back-and I'm wonderfully happy. Come inside-mind the radar!-and kiss me, you old wolf; you don't have to buy me candy."

"Pop," I asked, "is Zebadiah asleep?"

"Just woke up."

I spoke to Gay, then to Pop: "Will you tell Zebadiah radar is off? He can stand up without getting his ears fried."

"Sure." Pop ducked down and yelled, "Zeb, it's safe; her husband left."

"Coming!" Zebadiah's voice rumbled back. "Tell Deety to put the steaks on." My darling appeared wearing sword, carrying pie pan and sheets. "Are the steaks ready?" he asked, then kissed me.

"Not quite, sir," I told him. "First, go shoot a thoat. Or will you settle for peanut butter sandwiches?"