"But remember to wipe off the lipstick."

"Pipe down, Zeb. You aren't observant; neither of our darlings is wearing any. Being late is not important; 'The party can't start till the Macgregor arrives.' But once Bertie's there, he's on parade-and the Governor must not appear with eyes swollen and tear marks on his collar. We must return him in as good shape as we got him."

Sometimes I love Pop more than most.

And my husband, too.

I used both hands but didn't need to; Bertie wasn't trying to get away. The second time he kissed Hilda, he supplied the hands. Therapy took three minutes and forty-one seconds, and I am certain that, by the end of two hundred twenty-one seconds, Bertie was no longer homesick, not grieving about mighthave-beens; his morale was tiptop. The last time he kissed me, he informed me without words that I should not be alone with him unless my intentions were serious.

I made mental note. And a second to ask Hilda if she had received the same warning. Then I struck out the second note. I was certain and equally certain that she would fib if it suited her.

But I look forward to the day the Hillbilly asks me to jigger for her. That will be my final promotion-no longer Jane's little girl in Hilda's eyes but Jane's equal, trusted as utterly as she trusted Jane. And I will be rid of the last trace of the shameful jealousy I have for my beloved Mama Jane.

I checked myself in my purse mirror while I waited for them to break- checked both of them and decided that they had no milk on their chins. Bertie said, "Deety, could I possibly have one of those pictures as a remembrance of this perfect day?"

"Certainly. Gay Parade Ground. All three are yours;~we took them for you." We were exactly on time.

Three hours later I was sitting teat deep in a wonderful tub of hot soapy water, a tub big enough to drown in but I wasn't going to drown because the Hillbilly was sitting shoulder deep, facing me. We were reliving our day as well as getting beautiful for dinner. Well... sanitary.

Hilda said, "Deety, I tell you three times. Betty is suffering from an ailment made more endurable by Martian conditions."

"Meaning that in point thirty-eight gee she doesn't hit hard when she falls down. What was in that teapot no one else touched? Chanel Number Five?"

"Medicine. Prescribed for her nerves."

"Got it. Official. She's friendly as a puppy, she's generous, she's our hostess- I ought to know better. It's a shame that she has this ailment but she's fortunate in having a husband who loves her so dearly that he left home forever so that she can live in lower gravity. Bertie is quite a man."

"There is nothing for him at home. His older brother has sons; title and estate can't go to Bertie. He can't go much higher in the army, and a governor general is senior to anybody; he embodies the Sovereign."

"I thought that was limited to viceroys."

"Squeaky put me straight on it. Bertie is viceroy in dealing with Russians. But- Did you notice the uniforms on the maids?"

"I noticed the cream tarts more. White aprons, white caps, simple print dresses, dark blue or black with Indian arrowheads."

"The Broad Arrow, Deety."

"Huh? No sabbe, pliz."

"In this universe Australia belongs to the Dutch. Brace yourself, dear. This is a prison colony."

Every so often the world wobbles and I have to wait for it to steady down. Somewhat later I said, "A colony could be better than a prison. I can't see Bertie as a tyrant. Bertie is quite a man. When-"

Hilda reached out, grabbed a chain, flushed the W.C., then leaned toward me. That fixture was a noisy type that went on gurgling and gasping for a long time. "Remember what Zebbie told us when he crowded us into the other bath and turned on everything? One must assume that guest quarters in any government building anywhere are wired. Careful what you say, dear."

"He also said that he had no reason to assume that it was the case here."

"But Zebbie was the one who insisted on a conference in Gay... with Jacob being mulish and you yourself seeing no reason not to confer up here." Aunt Hilda again pulled the chain. "Yes, Bertie is quite a man. Don't leave me alone with him."

"Or should I jigger instead?"

"Naughty Deety. My sweet, a bride should refrain at least twelve months out of respect for her husband and to prove that she can."

"After that it's okay?"

"Of course not! It's immoral, disgraceful, and scandalous." Suddenly she giggled, put arms around my neck, and whispered: "But if I ever need a jigger, Deety is the only person I would trust."

That conference, immediately after tea, had caused a crisis, brought on by our husbands in concert-but out of tune. The tea had been fun-cream tarts and new men appeal to my basest instincts. A tea qua tea should be over in an hour. We had been there over an hour, which I ignored because I was having fun. Aunt Hilda broke the ring around me, said softly, "We're leaving." So we smiled and said good-bye, found our host, and thanked him.

"Our pleasure," Bertie said. "Lady Herbert became indisposed and wishes to be forgiven but will see you at dinner. Hird-Jones tells me that black tie is no problem. Right?"

He added to let Squeaky know when we wanted help in moving; Hilda assured him that Squeaky had it in hand and the suite was beautiful!

As we left I asked, "Where is Zebadiah?"

"Waiting at the outer steps. He asked me for a conference. I don't know why, but Zebbie would not unnecessarily interrupt a social event to ask for a closed conference."

"Why didn't we go to our suite? And where is Pop?"

"Zebbie specified the car-more private. Jacob is inside, talking with some men. He brushed off my telling him that we were going to the car now-said he would see us later. Deety, I can't enforce orders as captain under those conditions."

"Pop is hard to move when he gets into a discussion. I've yawned through some deadly ones. But how can we have a conference until he shows up?"

"I don't know, dear. Here's Zebbie."

My husband pecked me on the nose and said, "Where's Jake?"

Hilda answered, "He told me that he would be along later." Zebadiah started to curse; Aunt Hilda cut him off. "Chief Pilot."

"Uh- Yes, Captain."

"Go find the Copilot, tell him that we lift in five minutes. Having told him that and no more, turn and leave at once. Don't give him any opportunity to ask questions. Come straight to the car."

"Aye aye, Captain."

"Come, Deety." Hilda hurried to Gay Deceiver, went to her seat, started to belt, She glanced at me. "Astrogator, prepare for space."

I started to ask why-but instead said, "Aye aye, Captain," and quickly was belted. "Captain, may I inquire your plans?"

"Certainly, you're second-in-command. And Astrogator; however, I will take the conn on lifting."

"Then we really are lifting?"

"Yes. Five minutes after Zebbie returns. That gives Jacob five minutes to make up his mind. Then we lift. If Jacob is aboard, he'll be with us."

"Aunt Hilda, you would abandon my father on this planet?!"

"No, Deety. Jacob will probably never notice that the car has been away as it should not be gone more than a few minutes. If Jacob does not come with us, I will ask Zebbie to drop me on Earth-without-a-J. Range-finder and target method; I don't want to use Zebbie's precious juice."

"Aunt Hilda, you sound desperate."

"I am, dear." She added, "Here comes Zebbie."

Zebadiah climbed in. "Message delivered, Captain."

"Thank you, Chief Pilot. Prepare for space."

"Roger Wilco."

"Will you check the seal of the starboard door, please?"

"Aye aye, Captain."

"Report readiness for space, Astrogator."

"Belt tight, ready for space. Oh, Aunt Hilda!"