“That’s too bad,” Edward said. Once again his slight stutter returned.

Kim looked at him. He seemed to be fidgeting while pretending to watch the Peruvians.

“Is something wrong?” Kim asked. She could sense his unease.

“No,” Edward said a little too forcefully. He pondered for a minute and then said, “I’m sorry, and I know I shouldn’t ask this, and you should just say no if it’s not convenient. I mean, I’d understand.”

“What is it?” Kim asked. She was mildly apprehensive.

“It’s just that I read those books I told you about,” Edward said. “What I mean to say is that I’d really like to see that old house. I know it is presumptuous of me to ask.”

“I’d be happy to show it to you,” Kim said with relief. “I have Saturday off this week. We could drive up there then if it’s convenient for you. I can get the keys from the lawyers.”

“It wouldn’t be too much of a bother?” Edward asked.

“Not at all,” Kim said.

“Saturday would be perfect,” Edward said. “In exchange perhaps you’d like to go to dinner Friday night?”

Kim smiled. “I accept. But now I think I’d better be getting home. The seven-thirty shift at the hospital starts awfully early.”

They slid off the concrete wall and strolled toward the subway entrance.

“Where do you live?” Edward asked.

“Beacon Hill,” Kim said.

“I hear that’s a great neighborhood,” Edward said.

“It’s convenient to the hospital,” Kim said. “And I have a great apartment. Unfortunately I have to move come September because my roommate is getting married and she has the lease.”

“I’ve got a similar problem,” Edward said. “I live in a charming apartment on the third floor of a private house, but the owners have a baby coming and need the space. So I have to be out September first as well.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Kim said.

“It’s not so bad,” Edward said. “I’ve been meaning to move for years, but I’ve just been putting it off.”

“Where’s the apartment?” Kim asked.

“Close by,” Edward said. “Within walking distance.” Then he added hesitantly: “Would you care to come over for a visit?”

“Maybe another night,” Kim said. “Like I said, morning comes early for me.”

They reached the entrance to the subway. Kim turned and looked up into Edward’s pale blue eyes. She liked what she saw; there was sensitivity.

“I want to congratulate you on asking to see the old house,” Kim said. “I know it wasn’t easy for you, and the reason I know is because it would have been equally difficult for me. In fact I probably couldn’t have done it at all.”

Edward blushed. Then he chuckled. “I’m certainly no Stanton Lewis,” he said. “The truth of the matter is that I can be kind of a klutz.”

“I think we have some similarities in that area,” Kim said. “I also think you are a lot more socially adept than you give yourself credit for.”

“You get the credit,” Edward said. “You make me feel relaxed, and since we’ve only just met, that’s saying something.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Kim said.

They gripped hands for a moment. Then Kim turned and hurried down into the subway.

Saturday, July 16, 1994

Edward double-parked on Beacon Street across from the Boston Common and ran into the foyer of Kim’s building. After ringing her bell, he kept his eye out for a Boston meter maid. He knew of their reputation from sore experience.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting,” Kim said when she appeared. She was dressed in khaki shorts and a simple white T-shirt. Her dark, voluminous hair was pulled back in a pony tail.

“I’m sorry for being late,” Edward said. By mutual consent Edward was dressed in a similar, casual fashion. “I had to run by the lab.”

They both stared at each other for a beat, then burst out laughing.

“We’re too much,” Kim admitted.

“I can’t help it.” Edward chuckled. “I’m always apologizing. Even when it isn’t warranted. It’s ridiculous, but you know something? I wasn’t even aware of it until you pointed it out at dinner last night.”

“I only noticed it because I do it too,” Kim said. “After you dropped me off last night, I thought about it. I think it comes from feeling overly responsible.”

“You’re probably right,” Edward said. “When I was growing up I always thought it was my fault when something went wrong or someone was upset.”

“The similarities are frightening,” Kim mused with a smile.

They climbed into Edward’s Saab and headed north out of town. It was a bright, clear day, and even though it was early morning, the sun already gave adequate hint of its summer strength.

Kim lowered the passenger-side window and jauntily stuck her arm out. “This feels like a mini-vacation,” she said.

“Particularly for me,” Edward said. “I’m ashamed to admit it, but I usually spend just about every day in the lab.”

“Weekends too?” Kim questioned.

“Seven days a week,” Edward admitted. “The usual way I can tell it is a Sunday is when there are fewer people around. I guess I’m just a boring guy!”

“I’d say dedicated,” Kim said. “I’d also say you’re very considerate. The flowers you’ve been sending me daily are glorious, but I’m hardly accustomed to such gallantry. I certainly don’t deserve it.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Edward said.

Kim could sense his unease. He pushed his hair off his forehead several times in a row.

“It’s certainly not ‘nothing’ to me,” Kim said. “I want to thank you again.”

“Did you have any trouble getting the keys to the old house?” Edward asked, changing the subject.

Kim shook her head. “Not in the slightest. I went over to the lawyers right after work yesterday.”

They drove north on route 93, then turned east on 128. The traffic was light.

“I certainly enjoyed our dinner last night,” Edward said.

“Me too,” Kim said. “Thank you. But when I thought about it this morning I wanted to apologize for dominating the conversation. I think I talked too much about myself and my family.”

“There you go apologizing again,” Edward said.

Kim struck her thigh in mock punishment. “I’m afraid I’m a hopeless case.” She laughed.

“Besides”-Edward chuckled-“I should be the one apologizing. It was my fault because I bombarded you mercilessly with questions that I’m afraid might have been borderline too personal.”

“I wasn’t offended in the slightest,” Kim said. “I just hope I didn’t scare you when I mentioned those anxiety attacks I used to get when I first went to college.”

“Oh, please!” Edward laughed. “I think we all get them, especially those of us who tend to be compulsive, like doctors. I used to get anxiety attacks in college before every test even though I never had any problems with grades.”

“I think mine were a little worse than run-of-the-mill,” Kim said. “For a short time I even had trouble riding in the car, thinking I might get one while I was cooped up.”

“Did you ever take anything for them?” Edward asked.

“Xanax for a short time,” Kim said.

“Did you ever try Prozac?” Edward asked.

Kim turned to look at Edward. “Never!” she said. “Why would I take Prozac?”

“Just that you mentioned you had both anxiety and shyness,” Edward said. “Prozac could have helped both.”

“Prozac has never been suggested,” Kim said. “Plus even if it had been I wouldn’t have taken it. I’m not in favor of using drugs for minor personality flaws like shyness. I think drugs should be reserved for serious problems, not mere everyday difficulties.”

“Sorry,” Edward said. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“I’m not offended,” Kim said. “But I do feel strongly about it. As a nurse I see too many people taking too many drugs. Drug companies have got us to think there is a pill for every problem.”

“I basically agree with you,” Edward said. “But as a neuroscientist I now see behavior and mood as biochemical, and I’ve reevaluated my attitude toward clean psychotropic drugs.”