That memory twisted him in agony.
"Orders?" Nicci folded her hands in her lap and met his gaze. "Oh, yes, I have a few requests I wish you to honor. First, you may not use your gift.
Not at all. Not in any way. Is that clear? Since, as I recall, you have no love of the gift, this should be neither a burden nor a difficult request for you to follow, especially because there is something you do love which would not survive such a betrayal. Do you understand?"
Her cold blue eyes conveyed the threat perhaps even better than her words. Richard gave her a single nod, committing himself to what, exactly, he wasn't entirely sure at the moment.
He poured her steaming dinner in a shallow wooden bowl and handed it to her along with a spoon. Nicci smiled her thanks. He set the pot on the ground between his legs and took a spoonful of rice, blowing on it until it was cool enough to eat. He watched her from the corner of his eye as she took a dainty taste.
Beyond her physical perfection, Nicci had a singularly expressive face.
She seemed to go cold and blank when she was unhappy, or when she meant to convey anger, threat, or displeasure. She didn't really scowl the way other people did when they felt those emotions; rather, a look of cool detachment descended on her. That look was, in its own way, far more disturbing. It was her impenetrable armor.
On the other hand, she was expressively animated when she was pleased or thankful. Even more than that, though, such pleasure or gratitude appeared genuine. He remembered her as aloof, and while she still possessed a noble bearing, to some extent her air of reticence had lifted to reveal an innocent delight in any kindness, or even simple courtesy.
Richard still had bread Cara had baked for him. He hated sharing that bread with this evil woman, but it now seemed a childish consideration. He tore off a piece and offered it to Nicci. She took it with the reverence due something greater than mere bread.
"I also expect you to keep no secrets from me," she said after another bite. "You would not like me to discover you were doing so. Husbands and wives have no need for secrets."
Richard supposed not, but they were hardly husband and wife. Rather than say so, he said instead, "You seem to know a lot about how husbands and wives behave."
Rather than rising to his bait, she gestured with her bread at her bowl. "This is very good, Richard. Very good indeed."
"What is it you want, Nicci? What is the purpose of this absurd pretense?"
The firelight played across her alabaster face, and lent her hair a torrid color it didn't in reality possess. "I took you because I need an answer which I believe you will provide."
Richard broke a stout branch in two across his knee. "You said husbands and wives have no need for secrets." He used half the branch to push the burning wood together before placing the branch atop the fire. "Then aren't wives, too, supposed to be honest?"
"Of course." Her hand with the bread lowered. She rested her wrist over her knee. "I will be honest with you, too, Richard."
"Then what's the question? You said you took me because you need an answer you think I can provide. What's the question?"
Nicci stared oft again. once more looking anything but the grim captor.
She looked as if memories, or perhaps fears, haunted her. It was somehow more unsettling than the sneer of an armed guard outside of the bars of his cage.
The rain outside had increased to a dull roar. They'd made camp just in time. Richard couldn't help but remember the cozy times he'd had in wayward pines huddled beside Kahlan. At the thought of Kahlan, his heart sank.
"I don't know," Nicci finally said. "I honestly don't, Richard. I seek something, but I will only know it when I find it. After nearly all my one hundred and eightyone years without knowing it existed, I finally saw the first hint of it not long ago. . " She seemed to be looking through him again, to some point beyond. Her voice, too, seemed to be addressed to that distant place her vision beheld. "That was when you stood in a collar before all those Sisters, and defied them. Perhaps I will find the answer when I understand what it was I saw that day, in that room. It was not just you, but you were its center. .»
Her eyes focused once more on his face. She spoke with gentle assurance. "Until then, you will live. I have no intention of harming you.
You need fear no torture from me. I'm not like them-that woman, Derma, or like the Sisters of the Light, using you for their games."
"Don't patronize me. You are using me for your own game, no less than they used me for theirs."
She shook her head. "I want you to know, Richard, that I have nothing but respect for you. I probably have more respect for you than any person you have ever met. That's why I took you. You are a rare person, Richard."
"I'm a war wizard. You've just never seen one of those before."
She spurned the notion with a dismissive flick of her hand. "Please don't try to impress me with your `power. I'm not in the mood for such silliness."
Richard knew it was no idle boast on her part. She was a sorceress of remarkable ability. He doubted he had any hope of outsmarting her knowledge of magic.
She was not acting the way he had expected a Sister of the Dark would act, though. Richard put his anger, hurt, and heartache aside for the moment, knowing he had to face what was, rather than putting his hope in wishes, and spoke to Nicci in the same gentle fashion she used with him.
"I don't understand what it is you want of me, Nicci."
She shrugged in an involuntary gesture of frustration. "Neither do I.
Until I do, you will do as I ask and everything will be fine. I will not harm you."
"Considering the circumstances, do you really expect me to take your word?"
"I'm telling you the truth, Richard. If you were to twist your ankle, I would, like a good wife, put my shoulder under your arm and help you to walk. From now on, I am devoted to you, and you to me."
He could only blink at how crazy this was. He almost thought she might be mad. Almost. He knew that would be too easy an answer. As Zedd always said, nothing was ever easy.
"And if I choose not to go along with your wishes?"
Again, she shrugged. "Then Kahlan dies."
"I understand that, but if she dies, then you lose the collar around my heart."
She fixed him with cold blue eyes. "Your point?"
"Then you couldn't get what you wanted from me. You would have no leverage."
"I don't have what I want now, so I would be losing nothing. Besides, if you were to do that, then Emperor Jagang would welcome your head as a gift. I would no doubt be showered with gifts and riches."
Richard didn't think Nicci wanted gifts or riches showered on her. She was a Sister of the Dark, after all, and he supposed she could manage to be so showered if she really wished it.
Even so, he was sure his head would have a price, and she could salvage that much out of it if he proved ungovernable. She might not care for gifts and riches, but if there was one thing she did want, it had to be power. He was pretty sure she could gain a good measure of that, should she slay the enemy of the Imperial Order.
He bent over the pot between his legs and went back to his dinner, and his dark thoughts. Talking to her was useless. They just went around in circles.
"Richard," she said in a quiet tone, drawing his eyes to her gaze, "you think I'm doing this to hurt you, or to defeat you because you are the enemy of the Order. I am not. I told you my true reasons."
"So, when you finally find this answer you seek, in return for my
`help, then you will let me go?" It was not really meant as a question, but as trenchant incrimination.