“Callie,” Shelby says, practically yelling. “Dinner’s starting, are you going to come?”

“Yes,” I breathe, not talking to her at all. Because yes…yes.

Nate laughs with a gentle hum that nearly undoes me.

“Callie?”

“I’ll be there in a few,” I yell, hoping she doesn’t catch the wavering in my voice.

“You’re going to be late.”

“I said I’m coming!” I yell, and I could laugh at the absurdity of it all, because I am coming, I am, I am, and I feel the sparks from it all throughout my body. My breaths are ragged, and Nate’s mouth is still on me, pushing me along as I ride out this wave. Our fingers are still entwined, my hand rubbing lazy circles on the back of his head. It’s not long before he presses tender kisses along the inside of my thighs, and he reaches up and lowers my dress.

I want to kiss that smug smile off his face, so I pull him close and I smile too as our lips meet slowly and softly. He’s still grinning when he pulls away, and I swipe the pad of my thumb along his bottom lip to wipe off the pink gloss that’s smeared there.

“What’s with the face?” I ask.

He shrugs as he leans in close, planting his hands on either side of my hips. I nuzzle against his neck and breathe deep as his lips brush the shell of my ear.

“Two minutes and sixteen seconds,” he whispers.

AFTER DINNER we’re all gathered around the patio, spread out in different groups, talking and laughing. I find myself orbiting Nate without really meaning to; I just feel this intense desire to be close to him, and for once I’m not over thinking it.

“So, no to the cliff diving,” he says, laughing through a smile as he brings his beer bottle to his lips. “I kind of figured you’d say that after your tire swing-slash-eel experience. You either love the feeling of falling or you hate it.”

I lean against the short brick wall that lines the patio, splaying my hands out on either side of me as Nate steps forward, blocking my view of the crowd. It’s like he wants me all to himself, and tonight, I’m all too happy to let him have me.

“It’s not the falling that I have the issue with,” I tell him, tilting my head back until our eyes meet. “I love that hollow, tingling feeling as my stomach drops. At that point you’ve already given up the control, and you can enjoy it. It’s the standing on the edge of the solid, safe earth and deciding to jump that drives me crazy.”

Nate looks at me for a long while, a sad smile pulling at his lips. His hand cups my cheek and I snuggle against it before he runs his fingers through my hair, cradling the back of my neck as he touches his forehead with mine.

“Not everything needs to be planned out, Callie. Fly by the seat of your pants for once,” he says softly, and I know he’s not talking about cliff diving. Maybe we never were. Our lips connect for just a few seconds, and even though it’s a sweet kiss—innocent, even—it puts every nerve in my body on overdrive.

I turn to my right and see Gabby. She’s standing with Ben, Marco and Emily, but her eyes are on Nate and me. When she excuses herself from their conversation, I touch Nate’s forearm and nod in her direction to let him know that I’m going to talk to her. We meet in the middle of the room, and she quickly takes my hand and leads me over to the corner, near the hammock. She gives me a knowing smirk, and my stomach sinks because I know what I’m in for.

“He’s got it so bad,” she says in a singsongy way, like we’re on the playground back in grade school. “And he’s not the only one.”

I glare at her, partly because she interrupted us and partly because she’s right. “You promised no matchmaking, Gabby.”

“I didn’t!”

“You did too, you promised that morning in the truck,” I remind her.

She smiles, and there’s something gentle about it that makes me relax. “I meant that I didn’t do any matchmaking. This is…it’s all you two. Everyone can see it.”

“See what?” I ask, playing innocent.

“The way he looks at you, Callie. The way you look at him. If you think this is just some fling-”

“It is a fling,” I say, interrupting her. “And I’m enjoying it while it lasts. Don’t ruin the two days I have left by trying to make this into more than it is.”

“Callie,” she sighs. “Don’t be stupid. What do you think is going to happen when this is over?”

“What I know will happen is that you and Ben will go on your honeymoon. I’ll go back to Dallas and Nate will go back to Boulder, and I’ll look back on this fondly.”

“QUIET EVERYBODY!!!” Madeline yells. Nate’s holding her, and she seems embarrassed by the sudden attention as the room quiets, so she tucks her head into his neck to shield her face. He walks up the few steps that lead into the guest house so that everyone can see him, and his eyes are drawn to mine in the crowd. He winks at me, and I know he’s doing whatever he’s about to do in order to break up this conversation because he can see how uncomfortable I am. I could (and would) kiss him for it if it wouldn’t send Gabby into a frenzy.

Nate clears his throat. “Mad here has something she’d like to say to her Uncle Ben and new Aunt Gabby,” he says with a smile, gently nudging Madeline with his chin.

Gabby, never one to abandon an unfinished conversation turns to me before motioning in Nate’s direction, like she wants to remind me of what I have right there in front of me. “You’re really going to make yourself miserable to prove a point?”

“I’m not trying to prove anything,” I tell her, and it’s the truth. She thinks I’m going to be miserable if I don’t give myself a shot to be with Nate, but misery I can deal with. It’s the inevitable broken heart that kills.

IT’S GETTING late, and all the guests are beginning to say their goodnights and go back to their rooms to prepare for the big day ahead of us tomorrow. At the same time tomorrow I’ll be standing here with all the same people, wearing a beautiful dress, and Gabby will have tied herself to Ben for the rest of her life. The remarkable thing—to me, at least—is that she isn’t even the slightest bit nervous about it. Sure, she’s worried about the ceremony, but the commitment part of the equation doesn’t even make her break a sweat.

I’m self-aware enough to admit that I’m jealous of her in that regard. Not that I want to get married, but I always wanted it to be an option. Now it seems as unattainable to me as winning a lottery jackpot. I think back to what Nate told me earlier this morning about telling the people who have hurt me what they’ve done. Maybe there’s some benefit to doing that beyond helping those people to not make the same mistakes again. Maybe the closure would help me move on. To what, exactly, I don’t know…but maybe that’s not important right now.

Across the yard, Ethan’s sitting on a bench by himself. His elbows are resting on his knees, and he’s got the neck of a beer bottle clasped between his thumb and index finger, gently swinging it back and forth. It occurs to me that while I’m not ready to talk to my father about how I felt when he left my mother and me, I am ready to talk to Ethan about our breakup. Maybe it will help him as much as it would help me, and as much as I shouldn’t want to help him, I do. Once upon a time he was my friend, and sometimes I do miss that, even if the sting of betrayal does taint those memories.

I step off the porch and walk across the lawn, and if Ethan’s surprised when I sit next to him, he doesn’t show it. His gaze is fixed somewhere off to our right, and when I turn my head I see that he’s looking at Emily. Madeline’s sleeping, draped across Emily’s lap. Emily runs her fingers through Madeline’s hair as she talks to Jessa. I’m not quite sure where this fierce protective surge comes from, given the fact that I barely know Emily, but it’s there and I can’t ignore it.