From the East Oregonian, June 25, 1947

FIRE CONTROL OFFICER SPOTS “FLYING SAUCERS” Kenneth Arnold Reports 9 Disc-Shaped Objects “Shiny, Silvery, Moved Incredibly Fast”

From the Roswell Daily Record, July 8th, 1947

AIR FORCE CAPTURES “FLYING SAUCER” ON RANCH IN ROSWELL REGION Intelligence Officers Recover Crashed Disc

From the Roswell Daily Record, July 9th, 1947

AIR FORCE DECLARES “SAUCER” WEATHER BALLOON

From the Chicago Daily Tribune, August 1st, 1947

USAF SAYS “CANNOT EXPLAIN” ARNOLD SIGHTING 850 Additional Sightings Since Original Report

From the Roswell Daily Record, October 19th, 1947

SO-CALLED “SPACE WHEAT” A HOAX,

ANGRY FARMER DECLARES

Andrew Hoxon Denies “Saucer Connection”

Red-Tinged Wheat “Nothing But A Prank,” He Insists

From the Courier Journal (Ky), January 8th, 1948

AIR FORCE CAPTAIN KILLED CHASING UFO

Mantell’s Final Transmission:

“Metallic, Tremendous In Size”

Air Force Mum

From the Brazilian Nacional, March 12th, 1957

STRANGE RINGED CRAFT CRASHES IN MATO GROSSO!

2 WOMEN MENACED NEAR PONTO PORAN!

“We Heard Squealing Sounds From Within,” They Declare

From the Brazilian Nacional, March 12th, 1957

MATO GRASSO HORROR!

Reports of Gray Men with Huge Black Eyes Scientists Scoff! Reports Persist!

VILLAGES IN TERROR!

From the Oklahoman, May 12th, 1965

STATE POLICEMAN FIRES AT UFO Claims Saucer Was 40 Feet Above Highway 9 Tinker AFB Radar Confirms Sightings

From the Oklahoman, June 2nd, 1965

“ALIEN GROWTH'A HOAX, FARM BUREAU REP DECLARES “Red Weeds” Said To Be Work Of Spray-Gun, Teenagers

From the Portland (Me.) Press-Herald, September 14th, 1965

NEW HAMPSHIRE UFO SIGHTINGS MOUNT Most Sightings in Exeter Area Some Residents Express Fear of Alien Invasion

From the Manchester Union-Leader (N.H.), September 19th, 1965

ENORMOUS OBJECT SIGHTED NEAR EXETER WAS OPTICAL ILLUSION Air Force Investigators Refute State Police Sighting Officer Cleland Adamant: “I Know What I Saw”

From the Manchester Union-Leader (N.H.), September 30th, 1965

FOOD POISONING EPIDEMIC IN PLAISTOW STILL UNEXPLAINED Over 300 Affected, Most Recovering

FDA Officer Says May Have Been Contaminated Wells

From the Michigan Journal, October 9th, 1965

GERALD FORD CALLS FOR UFO INVESTIGATION

Republican House Leader Says “Michigan Lights”

May Be Extraterrestrial In Origin

From the Los Angeles Times, November 19th, 1978

CALTECH SCIENTISTS REPORT SIGHTING HUGE DISC-SHAPED OBJECT IN MOJAVE Tickman: “Was Surrounded by Small Bright Lights” Morales: “Saw Red Growth Like Angel Hair”

From the Los Angeles Times, November 24th, 1978

STATE POLICE, USAF INVESTIGATORS FIND NO “ANGEL HAIR” AT MOJAVE SITE Tickman and Morales Take, Pass, Lie Tests Possibility of Hoax Discounted

From the New York Times, August 16th, 1980

“ALIEN ABDUCTEES” REMAIN CONVINCED Psychologists Question Drawings Of So-Called “Gray Men”

From the Wall Street Journal, February 9th, 1985

CARL SAGAN: “NO, WE ARE NOT ALONE”

Prominent Scientist Reaffirms Belief In ETs

Says, “Odds Of Intelligent Life Are Enormous”

From the Phoenix Sun, March 14th, 1997

HUGE UFO SIGHTED NEAR PRESCOTT DOZENS DESCRIBE “BOOMERANG-SHAPED” OBJECT Switchboard At Luke AFB Deluged With Reports

From the Phoenix Sun, March 20th, 1997

“PHOENIX LIGHTS” REMAIN UNEXPLAINED Photos Not Doctored, Expert Says Air Force Investigators Mum

From the Paulden Weekley, (Ariz.), April 9th, 1997

FOOD POISONING OUTBREAK UNEXPLAINED REPORTS OF “RED GRASS” DISCOUNTED AS HOAX

From the Derry Daily News (Me.), May 15th, 2000

MYSTERY LIGHTS ONCE AGAIN REPORTED IN JEFFERSON TRACT Kineo Town Manager: “I Don’t Know What They Are, But They Keep Coming Back”

It became their motto, and Jonesy couldn’t for the life of him remember which of them started saying it first. Payback’s a bitch, that was his. Fuck me Freddy and half a dozen even more colorful obscenities originated with Beaver. Henry was the one who taught them to say What goes around comes around, it was the kind of Zen shit Henry liked, even when they were kids. SSDD, though; what about SSDD? Whose brainstorm had that been?

Didn’t matter. What mattered was that they believed the first half of it when they were a quartet and all of it when they were five and then the second half of it when they were a quartet again.

When it was just the four of them again, the days got darker. There were more fuck-me-Freddy days. They knew it, but not why. They knew something was wrong with them-different, at least-but not what. They knew they were caught, but not exactly how. And all this long before the lights in the sky. Before McCarthy and Becky Shue.

SSDD: Sometimes it’s just what you say. And sometimes you believe in nothing but the darkness. And then how do you go along?

1988: Even Beaver Gets the Blues

To say that Beaver’s marriage didn’t work would be like saying that the launch of the Challenger space shuttle went a little bit wrong. Joe “Beaver” Clarendon and Laurie Sue Kenopensky make it through eight months and then kapow, there goes my baby, somebody help me pick up the fuckin pieces.

The Beav is basically a happy guy, any of his hang-out buddies would tell you that, but this is his dark time. He doesn’t see any of his old friends (the ones he thinks of as his real friends) except for the one week in November when they are together every year, and last November he and Laurie Sue had still been hanging on. By a thread, granted, but still hanging on. Now he spends a lot of his time-too much, he knows-in the bars of Portland’s Old Port district, The Porthole and The Seaman’s Club and The Free Street Pub. He is drinking too much and smoking too much of the old rope-a-dope and come most mornings he doesn’t like to look at himself in the bathroom mirror; his red-rimmed eyes skitter away from his reflection and he thinks I ought to quit the clubs. Pretty soon I’m gonna have a problem the way Pete’s got one. Jesus-Christ-bananas.

Quit the clubs, quit the partying, good fuckin idea, and then he’s back again, kiss my bender and how ya doin. This Thursday it’s the Free Street, and damned if there isn’t a beer in his hand, a joint in his pocket, and some old instrumental, sounds a little bit like The Ventures, pouring from the juke. He can’t quite remember the name of this one, which was popular before his time. Still, he knows it; he listens a lot to the Portland oldies station since he got divorced. Oldies are soothing. A lot of the new stuff… Laurie Sue knew and liked a lot of it, but Beaver doesn’t get it.