“Ha, fast with the comebacks. And fast with the needle too. He brought me back from the dead. Done it more than once.”

Rhyme was suddenly pierced with a fear that Sachs had seen him naked. Eyes fixed firmly on the unsub profile, he asked, “Say, do I owe you some thanks too, Sachs? Did you play Clara Barton here?” He uneasily waited for her answer, didn’t know how he could look at her again if she had.

“Nup,” Thom answered. “Saved you all by my lonesome. Didn’t want any of these sensitive souls repulsed by the sight of your baggy rear end.”

Thank you, Thom, he thought. Then barked, “Now go away. We have to talk about the case. Sachs and me.”

“You need some sleep.”

“Of course I do. But we still need to talk about the case. Good night, good night.”

After Thom left, Sachs poured some Macallan in a glass. She lowered her head and inhaled the smoky vapors.

“Who snitched?” Rhyme asked. “Pete?”

“Who?” she asked.

“Dr. Taylor, the SCI man.”

She hesitated long enough for him to know that Taylor was the one. She said finally, “He cares about you.”

“Of course he does. That’s the problem – I want him to care a little less. Does he know about Berger?”

“He suspects.”

Rhyme grimaced. “Look, tell him that Berger’s just an old friend. He… what?”

Sachs exhaled slowly, as if shooting cigarette smoke through her pursed lips. “You not only want me to let you kill yourself you want me to lie to the one person who could talk you out of it.”

“He couldn’t talk me out of it,” Rhyme responded.

“Then why do you want me to lie?”

He laughed. “Let’s just keep Dr. Taylor in the dark for a few more days.”

“All right,” she said. “Jesus, you’re a tough person to deal with.”

He examined her closely. “Why don’t you tell me about it.”

“About what?”

“Who’s the dead? That you haven’t given up?”

“There’s plenty of them.”

“Such as?”

“Read the newspaper.”

“Come on, Sachs.”

She shook her head, stared down at her Scotch with a faint smile on her lips. “No, I don’t think so.”

He put her silence down to reluctance about having an intimate conversation with someone she’d known only for one day. Which seemed ironic, considering she sat next to a dozen catheters, a tube of K-Y jelly and a box of Depends. Still he wasn’t going to push it and said nothing more. So he was surprised when she suddenly looked up and blurted, “It’s just… It’s just… Oh, hell.” And as the sobbing began she lifted her hands to her face, spilling a good two inches of Scotland ’s best all over the parquet.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M TELLING YOU THIS.” She sat huddled in the deep chair, legs drawn up, issue shoes kicked off. The tears were gone though her face was as ruddy as her hair.

“Go on,” he encouraged.

“That guy I told you about? We were going to get an apartment together.”

“Oh, with the collie. You didn’t say it was a guy. Your boyfriend?”

The secret lover? Rhyme wondered.

“He was my boyfriend.”

“I was thinking maybe it was your father you’d lost.”

“Naw. Pop did pass away – three years ago. Cancer. But we knew it was coming. If that prepares you for it I guess we were prepared. But Nick…”

“He was killed?” Rhyme asked softly.

But she didn’t answer. “Nick Carelli. One of us. A cop. Detective, third. Worked Street Crimes.”

The name was familiar. Rhyme said nothing and let her continue.

“We lived together for a while. Talked about getting married.” She paused, seemed to be lining up her thoughts like targets at a shooting range. “He worked undercover. So we were pretty secret about our relationship. He couldn’t let word get around on the street that his gal was a cop.” She cleared her throat. “It’s hard to explain. See, we had this… thing between us. It was… it hasn’t happened for me very often. Hell, it never happened before Nick. We clicked in some really deep way. He knew I had to be a cop and that wasn’t a problem for him. Same with me and his working undercover. That kind of… wavelength. You knew, where you just completely understand someone? You ever felt what I’m talking about? With your wife?”

Rhyme smiled faintly. “I did. Yes. But not with Blaine, my wife.” And that was all he wanted to say on the subject. “How’d you meet?” he asked.

“The assignments lectures at the academy. Where somebody gets up and they tell you a little about what their division does. Nick was lecturing on undercover work. He asked me out on the spot. Our first date was at Rodman’s Neck.”

“The gun range?”

She nodded, sniffing. “Afterwards, we went to his mom’s in Brooklyn and had pasta and a bottle of Chianti. She pinched me hard and said I was too skinny to have babies. Made me eat two cannoli. We went back to my place and he stayed over that night. Quite a first date, huh? From then on we saw each other all the time. It was gonna work, Rhyme. I felt it. It was gonna work just fine.”

Rhyme said, “What happened?”

“He was…”

Another bolstering hit of old liquor. “He was on the take is what happened. The whole time I knew him.”

“He was?”

“Crooked. Oh, way crooked. I never had a clue. Not a single goddamn clue. He socked it away in banks around the city. He dusted close to two hundred thousand.”

Lincoln was silent a moment. “I’m sorry, Sachs. Drugs?”

“No. Merch, mostly. Appliances, TVs. ’Jackings. They called it the Brooklyn Connection. The papers did.”

Rhyme was nodding. “That’s why I remember it. There were a dozen of them in the ring, right? All cops?”

“Mostly. A few ICC people too.”

“What happened to him? Nick?”

“You know what happens when cops bust cops. They beat the crap out of him. Said he resisted but I know he didn’t. Broke three ribs, a couple fingers, smashed his face all up. Pleaded guilty but he still got twenty to thirty.”

“For hijacking?” Rhyme was astonished.

“He worked a couple of the jobs himself. Pistol-whipped one driver, took a shot at another one. Just to scare him. I know it was just to scare him. But the judge threw him away.” She closed her eyes, pressed her lips together hard.

“When he got collared, Internal Affairs went after him like they were in heat. They checked pen registers. We were real careful about calling each other. He said perps sometimes tapped his line. But there were some calls to my place. IA came after me too. So Nick just cut me off. I mean, he had to. Otherwise I would’ve gone down with him. You know IA – it’s always a goddamn witch-hunt.”

“What happened?”

“To convince them that I wasn’t anything to him… Well, he said some things about me.” She swallowed, her eyes fixed on the floor. “At the IA inquest they wanted to know about me. Nick said, ‘Oh, P.D. Sachs? I just fucked her a few times. Turned out she was lousy. So I dumped her.’ ” She tilted her head back and mopped tears with her sleeve. “The nickname? P.D.”

“Lon told me.”

She frowned. “Did he tell you what it means?”

“The Portable’s Daughter. After your father.”

She smiled wanly. “That’s how it started. But that’s not how it ended up. At the inquest Nick said I was such a lousy fuck it really stood for ‘Pussy Diver’ ’cause I probably liked girls better. Guess how fast that went through the department.”

“It’s a low common denominator out there, Sachs.”

She took a deep breath. “I saw him in court toward the end of the inquest. He looked at me once and… I can’t even describe what was in his eyes. Just pure heartbreak. Oh, he did it to protect me. But still… You were right, you know. About the lonely stuff.”

“I didn’t mean -”

“No,” she said, unsmiling. “I hit you, you hit me. That was fair. And you were right. I hate being alone. I want to go out, I want to meet somebody. But after Nick I lost my taste for sex.” Sachs gave a sour laugh. “Everybody thinks looking like me’s wonderful. I could have my pick of guys, right? Bullshit. The only ones with the balls to ask me out’re the ones who want to screw all the time. So I just gave up. It’s easier by myself. I hate it, but it’s easier.”