"Ladislas Gaye. The – the – That's the second trumpet."

"Why isn't it marked? Here, take it, play it!" They went through the Sanctus five times. "Planh, pla-anh, planh!" Otto blared, a trumpet. "All right! Why do your basses come in there, one-two-three-four-boom in come the basses like elephants, where does that get you?"

"Back to the Sanctus, listen, here's the organ under the tenors," and the piano roared under Gaye's husky tenor, "Sabaoth, then the cellos and the elephants, four, Sanctus! Sanctus! Sanctus!"

He sat back from the piano, Otto took his eyes from the score. The room was silent.

Otto set straight a drooping red rose in the bouquet on the top of the hired piano. "And where do you expect to have this Mass sung?"

The composer was silent.

"Women's chorus. Double men's chorus. Full orchestra; brass choir; organ. Well, well. Let me see those songs again. Is this all you've written of the Mass?"

"The Credo isn't orchestrated yet."

"I suppose you'll throw in double tympani for that? All right, here, where is it, the Goethe. Let me play." He played through the song twice, then sat twiddling out one of the queer half-spoken phrases of the accompaniment. "It's first rate, you know," he said. "Absolutely first rate. What the devil. Are you a pianist? What are you?"

"A clerk."

"A clerk? What kind of clerk? This is your hobby, eh, your amusement in spare time?"

"No, this is … this is what I …"

Otto looked up at the man: short and shabby, white with excitement, inarticulate.

"I want to know something about you, Gaye! You barge in, 'I write music,' you show me a little music, very good. Very good, this song, the Sanctus, the Benedictus too, that's real work, I want to read it again. But I've been shown good writing before. Have you been performed? How old are you?"

"Thirty."

"What else have you written?"

"Nothing else of any size – "

"At thirty? Four songs and half a Mass?"

"I haven't much time to work."

"This is nonsense. Nonsense! You don't write this kind of thing without practice. Where did you study?"

"Here, at the Schola Cantorum – till I was nineteen."

"With whom? Berdicke, Chey?"

"Chey and Mme Veserin."

"Never heard of her. And this is all you'll show me?"

"The rest isn't good, or isn't finished – "

"How old were you when you wrote this song?"

Gaye hesitated. 'Twenty, I think."

"Ten years ago! What have you been doing since? You 'want to write music,' eh? Well, write it! What else can I say? This is good, absolutely good, and so is that racket with the trombones. You can write music, but, my dear man, what can I do about it? Can I produce four songs and half a Mass by an unknown student of Vaslas Chey? No. You want encouragement, I know. Well, that I give. I encourage you. I encourage you to write more music. Why don't you?"

"I realise this is very little," Gaye brought out stiffly. His face was contorted, one hand was fiddling and pulling at the knot of his tie. Otto was sorry for him and unnerved by him. "Very little, why not make it more?" he said, genial. Gaye looked down at the piano keys, put his hand on them; he was shaking. "You see," he began, then turned away with a jerk, stooping, hiding his face with his hands, and broke into sobs. Otto sat like a stone on the piano bench. The small boy, forgotten all this time, sitting with his grey-stockinged legs hanging over the edge of the sofa, slipped down and ran to his father; of course he was blubbering too, but he kept pulling at his father's coat, trying to get at his hand, whispering, "Papa, don't, papa, please don't." Gaye knelt and put his arm around the child. "Sorry, Vasli, don't worry, it's all right…." But he was not yet in control of himself. Otto rose with some majesty, and called in his wife's maid. "Take the laddie, go give him candy, make him happy, eh?" The girl, a calm Swiss who knew all Central Europeans were mad, nodded, ignoring the weeping man, and said, "Come, what's your name?"

The child held on to his father.

"Go with her, Vasli," Gaye said. The child let her take his hand, and went out with her.

"You have a fine little boy," said Otto. "Now, sit down, Gaye. Brandy? A little, eh?" He opened and shut desk drawers, puffed and grunted to himself, put a glass in Gaye's hand, sat down again at the desk.

"I can't – " Gaye began, worn out, at rock bottom.

"No, you can't; neither can I; these things happen. You were more surprised than I, perhaps. But listen now, Ladislas Gaye. I have no time for the woes of all the world, I have a great many cares of my own and I'm very busy. But since we've come so far, I'd like to know what makes you break down like this."

Gaye shook his head. With the submissiveness that had vanished only while they were going through his score, he answered Otto's questions. He had had to quit the music school when his father died; he now supported his mother, his wife, his three children on his pay as clerk for a plant that made ballbearings and other small steel parts. He had worked there eleven years. Four evenings a week he gave piano lessons, for which they let him use a practice-room at the Schola Cantorum.

Otto did not find much to say for a while. "The good Lord has seen fit to give you bad luck," he remarked. Gaye did not reply. Indeed, good or bad luck seemed hardly adequate to describe this kind of solid, persevering mismanagement of the world, from which Ladislas Gaye and most other men suffered, and Otto Egorin, for no clear reason, did not. "Why did you come to see me, Gaye?"

"I had to. I knew what you'd have to say, that I haven't written enough. But when I heard you were to be here, I swore to myself I'd see you, I had to. They know me at the Schola, but they're busy with their students, of course; since Chey died there's no one who … I had to see you. Not for encouragement, but to see a man who lives for music, who arranges half the concerts in the country, who stands for … for …"

"For success," said Otto Egorin. "Yes, I know. I wanted to be a composer. When I was twenty, in Vienna, I used to go look at the house where Mozart lived, I used to go stare at Beethoven's tomb in the cemetery. I called on Mahler, on Richard Strauss, every composer who came to Vienna. I soaked myself in their success, the dead and the living. They had written music and it was played. Even then, you see, I knew I was not a real composer, and I needed their reality, to make life mean anything at all. That's not your problem. You need only to be reminded that there is music – eh? That not everyone makes steel ballbearings."

Gaye nodded.

"Is there no one else," Otto asked abruptly, "to take care of mama?"

"My sister married a Czech fellow, they live in Prague. . . . And she's bedridden, my mother."

"Yes. And there would still be the wife with the nervous disorder, and the kids, eh, and the bills, and the steel-ballbearings plant. . . . Well, Gaye, I don't know. You know, there was Schubert. I often wonder about Schubert, it's not just you that makes me think of him. Why did God create Franz Schubert? To expiate some other men's sins? Also, why did he kill the man off the moment he reached the level of the last quintet? – But Schubert didn't wonder why God had created him. To write music, of course. Du holde Kunst, ich danke dir! Incredible. The little, sickly, ugly crackpot with glasses, scribbling his music like any other crackpot, never hearing it played – Du holde Kunst! How would you say it, 'thou gracious Art, thou kindly Art'? As if any art were kindly, gracious, gentle! Have you ever thought of throwing it over, Gaye? Not the music. The rest."

He met the gaze of the strange, cold, dark eyes and refused to be ashamed, to apologise. Gaye had said that he, Otto Egorin, lived for music. He did. He might be a good bourgeois; he might be very sorry for a poor devil who needed nothing in God's world but a little cash in order to be a good composer; but he would not apologise to the poor devil's sick mother and sick wife and three brats. If you live for music you live for music.