And so we spent the next few weeks preparing for our journey. My father thought I was crazy, but my mother seemed happy to have the extra space in the house and pleased that the family wouldn’t have to put up a bride price to marry me off right away.

“So you’ll be gone how long?” Mother asked.

“I don’t know. It’s not a terribly long journey to Antioch, but I don’t know how long we’ll be there. Then we’ll be traveling the Silk Road. I’m guessing that that’s a long journey. I’ve never seen any silk growing around here.”

“Well, take a wool tunic in case it gets cold.”

And that was all I heard from my mother. Not “Why are you going?” Not “Who are you looking for?” Just “Take a wool tunic.” Jeez. My father was more supportive.

“I can give you a little money to travel with, or we could buy you a donkey.”

“I think the money would be better. A donkey couldn’t carry both of us.”

“And who are these fellows you’re looking for?”

“Magicians, I think.”

“And you want to talk to magicians because…?”

“Because Josh wants to know how to be the Messiah.”

“Oh, right. And you believe that Joshua is the Messiah?”

“Yes, but more important than that, he’s my friend. I can’t let him go alone.”

“And what if he’s not the Messiah? What if you find these magicians and they tell you that Joshua is not what you think he is, that he’s just a normal boy?”

“Well, he’ll really need me to be there, then, won’t he?”

My father laughed. “Yes, I guess he will. You come back, Levi, and bring your friend the Messiah with you. Now we’ll have to set three empty places at the table on Passover. One for Elijah, one for my lost son, and one for his pal the Messiah.”

“Well, don’t seat Joshua next to Elijah. If those guys start talking religion we’ll never have any peace.”

It came down to only four days before Maggie’s wedding before Joshua and I accepted that one of us would have to tell her we were leaving. After nearly a whole day of arguing, it fell upon me to go to her. I saw Joshua face down fears in himself that would have broken other men, but taking bad news to Maggie was one he couldn’t overcome. I took the task on myself and tried to leave Joshua with his dignity.

“You wuss!”

“How can I tell her that it’s too painful to watch her marry that toad?”

“First, you’re insulting toads everywhere, and second, what makes you think it’s any easier for me?”

“You’re tougher than I am.”

“Oh, don’t try that. You can’t just roll over and expect me to not notice that I’m being manipulated. She’s going to cry. I hate it when she cries.”

“I know,” Josh said. “It hurts me too. Too much.” Then he put his hand on my head and I suddenly felt better, stronger.

“Don’t try your Son of God mumbo jumbo on me, you’re still a wuss.”

“If it be so, so be it. So it shall be written.”

Well, it is now, Josh. It’s written now. (It’s strange, the word “wuss” is the same in my ancient Aramaic tongue as it is in this language. Like the word waited for me these two thousand years so I could write it down here. Strange.)

Maggie was washing clothes in the square with a bunch of other women. I caught her attention by jumping on the shoulders of my friend Bartholomew, who was gleefully exposing himself for the viewing pleasure of the Nazarene wives. With a subtle toss of my head I signaled to Maggie to meet me behind a nearby stand of date palms.

“Behind those trees?” Maggie shouted.

“Yeah,” I replied.

“You bringing the idiot?”

“Nope.”

“Okay,” she said, and she handed her washing to one of her younger sisters and scampered to the trees.

I was surprised to see her smiling so close to the time of her wedding. She hugged me and I could feel the heat rise in my face, either from shame or love, like there was a difference.

“Well, you’re in a good mood,” I said.

“Why not? I’m using them all up before the wedding. Speaking of which, what are you two bringing me for a present? It had better be good if it’s going to make up for who I have to marry.”

She was joyful and there was music and laughter in her voice, pure Maggie, but I had to turn away.

“Hey, I was only joking,” she said. “You guys don’t need to bring me anything.”

“We’re leaving, Maggie. We won’t be there.”

She grabbed my shoulder and forced me to face her. “You’re leaving? You and Joshua? You’re going away?”

“Yes, before your wedding. We’re going to Antioch, and from there far into the East along the Silk Road.”

She said nothing. Tears welled up in her eyes and I could feel them rising in mine as well. This time she turned away.

“We should have told you before, I know, but really we only decided at Passover. Joshua is going to find the Magi who came to his birth, and I’m going with him because I have to.”

She wheeled on me. “You have to? You have to? You don’t have to. You can stay and be my friend and come to my wedding and sneak down to talk to me here or in the vineyard and we can laugh and tease and no matter how horrible it is being married to Jakan, I’ll have that. I’ll at least have that!”

I felt as if I’d be sick to my stomach any second. I wanted to tell her that I’d stay, that I’d wait, that if there was the slightest chance that her life wasn’t going to be a desert in the arms of her creep husband that I could hold hope. I wanted to do whatever I could to take away even a little bit of her pain, even up to letting Joshua go by himself, but in thinking that, I realized that Joshua must have been feeling the same thing, so all I said was “I’m sorry.”

“And what about Joshua, wasn’t he even going to say good-bye?”

“He wanted to, but he couldn’t. Neither of us can, I mean, we didn’t want to have to watch you marry Jakan.”

“Cowards. You two deserve each other. You can hide behind each other like Greek boys. Just go. Get away from me.”

I tried to think of something to say, but my mind was a soup of confusion so I hung my head and walked away. I was almost out of the square when Maggie caught up to me. I heard her footsteps and turned.

“Tell him to meet me behind the synagogue, Biff. The night before my wedding, an hour after sunset.”

“I’m not sure, Maggie, he—”

“Tell him,” she said. She ran back to the well without looking back.

So I told Joshua, and on the night before Maggie’s wedding, the night before we were to leave on our journey, Joshua packed some bread and cheese and a skin of wine and told me to meet him by the date palms in the square where we would share supper together.

“You have to go,” Joshua said.

“I’m going. In the morning, when you do. What, you think I’d back out now?”

“No, tonight. You have to go to Maggie. I can’t go.”

“What? I mean, why?” Sure I’d been heartbroken when Maggie had asked to see Joshua and not me, but I’d come to terms with it. Well, as well as one ever comes to terms with an ongoing heartbreak.

“You have to take my place, Biff. There’s almost no moon tonight, and we are about the same size. Just don’t say much and she’ll think it’s me. Maybe not as smart as normal, but she can put that down to worry over the upcoming journey.”

“I’d love to see Maggie, but she wants to see you, why can’t you go?”

“You really don’t know?”

“Not really.”

“Then just take my word for it. You’ll see. Will you do this for me, Biff? Will you take my place, pretend to be me?”

“That would be lying. You never lie.”

“Now you’re getting righteous on me? I won’t be lying. You will be.”

“Oh. In that case, I’ll go.”

But there wasn’t even time to deceive. It was so dark that night that I had to make my way slowly through the village by starlight alone, and as I rounded the corner to the back of our small synagogue I was hit with a wave of sandalwood and lemon and girl sweat, of warm skin, a wet mouth over mine, arms around my back and legs around my waist. I fell backward on the ground and there was in my head a bright light, and the rest of the world existed in the senses of touch and smell and God. There, on the ground behind the synagogue, Maggie and I indulged desires we had carried for years, mine for her, and hers for Joshua. That neither of us knew what we were doing made no difference. It was pure and it happened and it was marvelous. And when we finished we lay there holding each other, half dressed, breathless, and sweating, and Maggie said, “I love you, Joshua.”