I WENT TO WORK the next morning, even though it was Saturday. Like other people at the Express who were scheduled to have time off on Monday and Tuesday, which were Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I was trading my weekend for the holidays. The weekend before Christmas is, however, a nearly impossible time to reach anyone by telephone. I wanted to contact officials at Mercury Aircraft, to try to persuade someone to help me look for a link between Rosie Thayer and E.J. Blaylock’s mothers. A couple of phone calls confirmed that I would have to wait until Mercury’s offices reopened on Wednesday – if I made any progress that soon. Corporations that do work for the government are not hasty to let reporters snoop around their plants, let alone ferret through confidential – and legally protected – personnel files. Big companies are often sensitive about their public image, but the fact that two murder victims were children of women who once worked for Mercury Aircraft wouldn’t give me much to push with. Mercury had long been one of the largest employers in town, and my finding out that a couple of local residents had links to it would not scare anyone into giving me an interview.

In the meantime, my imagination was going wild: I wondered if the two mothers had worked on some secret military project together. But why would Thanatos attack their daughters and not the workers themselves? Why wait until years after the workers had died? And even if Mercury Aircraft turned out to be the link between the victims, how was I linked to them? I was still confounded by the fact that Thanatos had singled me out for his contact with the paper.

I kept hoping Hobson Devoe would call.

I also wondered if Thanatos would call to gloat over all the attention he was getting with the second murder.

I had plenty to keep me busy in the meantime. Fortunately, the political beat had slowed a little as the holidays approached, or I would have been hopelessly behind in my work on City Hall stories. I did some catching up.

After a couple of hours in the office, I noticed that some of my coworkers were avoiding me. Stuart Angert seemed to notice it, too.

“It’s not your breath, in case you wondered,” he said, sitting on a corner of my desk.

“I wondered. Glad you stopped by. So what is it?”

“It’s the letters. Same thing happened with me over Zucchini Man. Only this is much worse.”

“Zucchini Man?”

“Let me tell you the story. We had a couple of slow news days one summer, and Wrigley gets a brainstorm. Decides we should have a contest among local amateur gardeners, see who can grow the biggest zucchini. You ever plant zucchini?”

“Frank has the green thumb, Stuart. If he’s smart, he won’t ask me to do more than look at the garden. If the army had known about me, they could have saved a lot of misery by using me instead of Agent Orange.”

“Me, too. I am the bane of the botanical world. Nevertheless, Wrigley decided this contest should be run from my column. I didn’t like it, but what the hell, he’s the boss.”

“Ever stop to think of how much trouble that phrase causes around here?”

“Plenty. And boy, did I get plenty of trouble. Zucchini, I thought, were these skinny little Italian squash I bought in the grocery store. Six, seven inches long, max. ‘Mail in your entry,’ I foolishly said. We were inundated with them.

“As you probably know – I didn’t, but learned very quickly – left to grow on the vine, zucchini can best be described with words like humongous and gargantuan. People couldn’t afford to mail them; some of them weighed as much as a watermelon. So they’d bring them into the paper, hand-carrying them to the security desk. Geoff was calling me from the lobby every few minutes, asking me to come down and get these three-foot, twenty-pound vegetables.”

“So you became known as Zucchini Man?”

“No, Zucchini Man came on the scene a little later. As you can imagine, I quickly tired of lugging the things around, so I was happy when the contest deadline arrived. I declared a winner as quickly as possible, gave out the check for one hundred dollars in prize money, and prayed I’d never see another squash of any kind. I had become the butt of a lot of newsroom jokes.

“However, this one participant was very unhappy with the outcome. He was certain that he should have won. He kept bringing in zucchinis. They would be accompanied by long, rambling notes that didn’t make much sense. He signed them ‘Zucchini Man.’ Geoff warned me that the guy who dropped them off was wearing a tinfoil hat.”

Stuart did not need to explain the tinfoil hat. They are worn by a small segment of our downtown population, and can be seen in many other cities. To the people who wear them, the hats are not a fashion accessory, but a device whereby they attempt to deflect the radio waves that are interfering with their thoughts.

“And people in the newsroom started avoiding you because of that?”

“No, it was when he managed to get past Geoff one day and into the newsroom itself. He knew me from the picture on my column; headed straight for me. This guy has a huge zucchini with him, probably one of the twenty-pounders. He was carrying the zucchini on his shoulder like a baseball bat. Geoff had already called up to warn me, and he had called the police, but it took them a little while to get here.

“Zucchini Man calmly asked me where his million dollars was, his prize for the biggest zucchini. I kept my cool, told him that we were getting the editor’s signature on it at that very moment, and if he would just have a seat and wait, it would soon be here. Everything was going fine until Wildman Winters decided to play John Wayne.”

Wildman Billy Winters, a former staffer, was a walking Bad Hemingway Contest. He had none of Papa’s talent for writing, but that didn’t stop him trying to emulate the lifestyle. His successes were generally limited to accolades like “person who made the ugliest scene at the party.” I winced thinking of what he would have added to the situation Stuart was describing. “Not the best defender you could have asked for.”

“Right,” Stuart said. “He tried to grab Zucchini Man from behind, but he didn’t make it. Zucchini Man ducked, then came up swinging. Walloped Winters but good with this great green gourd. Knocked him out cold; Winters ended up in the hospital for a few days. The Zucchini Man was going berserk then, whomping one surface after another with this zucchini. He didn’t try for anyone else, just objects, but it scared everybody and made a huge mess. Pulp all over the place.

“The cops got there about then. The LPPD was smart, sent a couple of guys who knew Zucchini Man. They greeted him like he was an old friend. When he saw them, he calmly set the remainder of the zucchini down and walked out with them. He paused near the door and asked me to send his check to him in the mail.”

“Not to speak ill of the dead, but I’m not so sure that Winters wasn’t a bigger menace to society.”

“I agree. You ask me, a guy like Winters was scarier than a guy who’s proud of his vegetables. But what I was trying to explain to you was that for a few weeks after this event, some of the people in the newsroom avoided me. They sort of blamed me for the guy being here, and for Winters getting hurt. It was as if they thought I might attract other people like this Zucchini Man – standing next to me was like standing next to a bull’s-eye.”

“I see what you mean. If Thanatos is coming by my house, he might visit the newsroom.”

“Right. You’ve already brought him too close. He calls you here. He sends things to you. Apparently watches you now and then.”

“And he’s more dangerous than someone with a large squash.”

“Don’t get too discouraged.”

“Thanks, Stuart.”

He started to walk away.

“Stuart?”

“Yeah?”