Please, god, do it, I begged, on the verge of mind-numbing rapture. His teeth pierced my skin, the sudden sharp pain merging with the pleasure the rest of his body was providing both of us as he pumped into me. Light, silver, pure light blossomed behind my eyes as I gave in to the sensations we shared, spiraling us both into an orgasm of blinding magnitude.

"It's a good… thing I have a… strong heart," I gasped long, long minutes later, from where I lay panting on top of Paen after he had collapsed into a chair. His chest, slicked with perspiration, rose and fell in a ragged rhythm beneath my still quivering body. "Because otherwise, I'd be dead in a week."

"It's good that you're immortal, then," he said without opening his eyes, his head lolling exhaustedly against the high back of the chair. I pressed a little kiss to the pulse that beat so wildly in his neck, freezing as what he said made a couple of synapses stand up and take notice.

"Bloody hell!"

His eyes opened to look at me with curiosity.

The enormity of what I'd done sank in at that moment. "I'm not… I'm not immortal anymore."

"What?" The word shot out of his mouth in a manner that might be said to be yelling. I matched the sudden frown that appeared between his eyebrows.

"I'm not immortal anymore. I used that to barter with the seer."

He stared at me in disbelief for a moment. "You saw a seer after I explicitly told you not to?"

"No, I saw the seer after you unreasonably ordered me not to. The difference should be apparent, even to you."

"Unreasonably? Is it unreasonable for a man to expect his Beloved to listen to him once in a while?"

I pushed back so I could really glare at him. "You de-Beloveded me! You told me you didn't want me anymore—oh, not in so many words, but you know what I mean."

"You used your immortality—the one thing I could give you—in exchange for information?" he asked, disbelief warring with pain in his eyes.

I rubbed my thumb along his jaw, sharing the anguish he felt. "You said we had no future together. I thought there was no reason for me to live forever if the man I loved didn't want me to share eternity with him."

"Oh, Sam—" Regret filled him, spilling over onto me. "I never meant for you to be hurt. I just… I didn't…"

"I know," I said, kissing his nose. "You just were a little commitment-shy. What changed that? It happened so fast—one minute you were yelling, the next everything went flying and we were using my breasts to polish the desk."

He groaned. "You're going to force me into a detailed discussion of my emotional state, aren't you?"

"Yup. It's every woman's right as soon as she knows she's snagged a man. The sooner you start, the easier it'll get. Now spill."

"I stopped pretending you weren't important," he said, trying to look pathetic. I kissed him just because he was so cute. "When you ran off earlier, there was a moment when you passed through me. I felt just how much I'd hurt you—and how much you loved me. No one but my family has loved me, Sam. I thought I didn't need it. I realized then that I was wrong."

"It takes a big man to admit he's wrong," I teased, squirming against his penis. My tone was light, but I let him feel how much joy his words brought to me.

His hands tightened on my hips. "Stop distracting me or I won't tell you the last bit."

I stopped and looked contrite.

"I told myself the entire time you were gone that I was just waiting around for you to return so I could fire you, and go back to my life. But then you walked in looking so warm, and beautiful, and sexy—and all I could think about was how right it was that you were here with me."

Tears formed in my eyes. "Oh, Paen, that's just about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. That's so sweet, and I'm so glad you got your head out of your ass and realized that I'm the best thing that'll ever happen to you."

He laughed and kissed me. "I know I can trust you to keep me humble."

"Of course, it's my job. Only…" I bit my lower lip until he gently freed it with a few soft strokes of his thumb. "Now I'm back to living a mortal life. I didn't mind that before, but if you're going to live for hundreds of years, I think I'd like to live them with you. Is there any way to get my immortality back?"

His arm tightened around my waist, pulling me closer. The regret that simmered in him rose up again until it made me want to weep. "No reasonable way, I'm afraid."

"Stop blaming yourself for this," I said, leaning back against his arm so I could see him without my eyes crossing. "You are not responsible for my actions."

"If I hadn't said I didn't want you as a Beloved—"

I put my finger on his lips. "Paen, it was my decision. I had the choice, and I took it. You are not to blame."

"I am as much to blame as you are," he said, his eyes going stubborn.

"Fine, we can share the blame, but that's not going to do either of us any good," I pointed out. His chest rose and fell beneath me in a slower rhythm as we both recovered from the lovemaking. "You said there's no reasonable way for me to get back my immortality—what unreasonable ways are there?"

"Any number, varying from becoming a demon lord—which I don't advise—to buying it back, which isn't likely since seers never part with those items they collect."

"Oh," I said, my hopes plummeting. The thought of growing old while Paen remained young and vital made my heart ache. "There's no other way?"

He hesitated. It was an almost infinitesimal hesitation, but his mind purposely went blank for a moment. "No."

I put a finger on his chin and turned his head so he was looking at me. His eyes were clouded and wary. "What?"

"What what?"

"Paen." I frowned at him. "I felt you deliberately not think something at me."

One eyebrow rose. "That is the most ridiculous thing I've heard yet."

"You know what I mean, so stop evading it, and just spit it out. What is the other way that you don't want to tell me about?"

He sighed. He sighed so deeply, it came from the very depths of his soul. "Anyone who is turned by a Dark One is made immortal."

"Turned?" I thought for a moment. "Oh, you mean made a vampire? You can do that? I thought it was just a myth or something."

He looked away. "Dark Ones can turn mortals. It doesn't happen very often since there is no real reason to do so, but it is within the realm of improbable possibility."

"But females aren't Dark Ones, so what do they turn into?"

"Moravians."

I thought about that for a minute. "Finn said a Beloved was more or less a female Moravian. So if turning would put me back there, then I say let's do it."

"No." He gently pushed me off his lap and started gathering up his clothes. Since I didn't want to be caught standing around naked and sweaty, I did the same.

"Why?" I asked, fingering my shredded underwear and wondering if I could staple it back together. "It sounds like the ideal solution to me. I'd be immortal again, and you said the females don't have to drink blood."

"You're not doing it and that's the end of the discussion." Paen turned his back to me as he pulled on his shirt.

I ground my teeth and pulled my jeans on without underwear (something I disliked, but I didn't have much of a choice). "You're being high-handed again. I really don't appreciate that."

"What did you find out about my statue?"

"And now you're changing the subject."

"What did you find out about my statue?"

I finished dressing, thinking several loud thoughts that he summarily ignored. "Fine, I'll talk about the statue, but don't think I'll forget about this. I'm thirty-three now—I want to be immortal while I still look halfway decent. Pilar had the statue last. I'm sure he's hidden it somewhere nearby."

"Pilar?" A frown wrinkled Paen's forehead. "Where is he?"