No, not Jeremy.

“Do you remember?” Ryder looked up from the computer, his gaze searching her face.

His warm, blue eyes deepened the languid pleasure, throbbing in her veins at the memory of the bed in her Paris apartment. A surge of desire claimed her body, weakening her knees. Gripping the back of the chair, she sank against its arm, the side of her hip brushing Ryder’s shoulder.

Ryder curled his arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap. With her legs dangling over the arm of the chair, Ryder kissed her mouth. His lips sought hers in a sweet caress, tentative, almost gentle.

She didn’t want gentle. She craved the scorching, searing passion imprinted on her soul by…Ryder? She couldn’t remember. She couldn’t remember Ryder in her bed. Couldn’t remember Ryder making love to her. She only knew she could feel it now. But what if the memories of that passion came from her ex-husband and not Ryder?

An iron vice fell from his heart. Julia remembered. She remembered their love, remembered how he’d helped her pick up the pieces of her life when she discovered Jeremy’s betrayal of their wedding vows. Now he knew she hadn’t thought of him as her rebound man, her second choice, forever the middle brother. She’d risked her life to save his by delivering the CD to Jeremy in Arizona.

She must realize their love created Shelby and she wasn’t afraid. She was going to trust him to be a father to their daughter.

He deepened his kiss, but Julia stiffened in his arms. Her body, soft and compliant only seconds earlier, shot up straight and tense. Her legs flailed in the air as she tried to gain a foothold on the floor.

Planting her hands on his thighs, she launched out of the chair and stumbled against the desk. Her eyes widened while a range of emotions played in their depths.

“I’m sorry. The events of the day are taking their toll.”

What just happened? He cocked his head to the side. Her actions convinced him she remembered their relationship and the heady days they spent in Paris after her divorce and before his reassignment to Somalia. Was she pushing him away because she knew he was Shelby ’s father?

“You said you remembered.”

“I remembered about the disc.” She shoved her hands in her pockets and spun around to face the window.

He gripped the arms of the chair. She remembered finding the CD, not making love with him. How important could it have been to her? Her memories were flooding in from all directions now, but she still didn’t remember him.

“So you recall the phone call from Jeremy leading up to finding the CD under the floorboards?” He closed the coded file and ejected the CD.

“Not exactly. The conversation itself is gone, but I recall the urgency of getting that disc and bringing it to Jeremy.”

Did the urgency come from protecting him or from doing Jeremy’s bidding? Maybe Jeremy’s killer interrupted his reconciliation with Julia or maybe it was Julia’s pregnancy. Discovering her pregnancy must’ve enraged Jeremy.

Ryder shook his head. Could he start over with Julia if he’d only imagined the love they shared?

JULIA GLIDED into the living room with her finger to her lips. “I finally got Shelby to sleep. She couldn’t stop talking about Skipper and the riding lesson.”

“Glad she liked it.” Ryder dropped his father’s tools in the metal chest and rubbed his hands on the seat of his jeans. “She’s a natural on horseback.”

“Is the camera installed?” Julia gestured toward the toolbox.

“Cameras. I installed one on the front porch, hidden in a hanging flower pot and one on the back porch in another flower pot. Just don’t give those two plants much water.”

Julia’s shoulders slumped as she sat on the arm of an overstuffed chair. The situation upset her more than she let on, which typified the Julia he knew. She put on a brave front even as she crumbled inside. He wanted to let her know she could crumble right in front of him and he wouldn’t turn away, wouldn’t run, wouldn’t demand that she hold herself together like her mother would have. Like Jeremy would have.

“Are you going to be okay here tonight? I could stay.”

“No.” She sat up straight and a pink tide crept over her cheeks. “I’ll be fine, and Shelby ’s with the Stokers now. I don’t want to impose on you anymore. You’ve been spending all your time with me and Shelby since you’ve been home. I’m sure your family wants to see you.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that. They have the heir apparent, Rod, and the other prodigal son, Rafe, is coming home in a few days to stay.” He picked up his hat and twirled it on his hand. “I meant the couch.”

“What?”

“If I stayed the night, I’d sleep on the couch.”

“Ryder, I…”

“You don’t need to explain.” He held up his hands. “It’s been a long, busy day. I’ll pick you up in the morning for your appointment with Dr. Brody.”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said. I’m not sure he’s the best therapist for me.”

“Maybe you should tell him that tomorrow. In the meantime, get some sleep.” All of his nerve endings tingled in a desire to take her into his arms and make love to her until she remembered every inch of his body, every inch she’d explored with a feverish passion.

He swallowed the hard lump in his throat. “Good night, Julia.”

He leaned his forehead against the doorjamb until he heard her turn the deadbolt into place with a click. Then he expelled a long breath and jogged down her newly scrubbed front porch.

He slid into his truck, punched on the radio, and maneuvered the seat into a reclining position. Adjusting his hat low over his face, he settled his shoulders into the seat and stretched his legs out as far as they would go against the floorboard.

Sipping the soda he had swiped from Julia’s fridge, he watched her house. Even if she didn’t want him inside on her couch…or in her bed…he had no intention of abandoning the two most important people in his life.

Julia twitched the curtain back into place and tousled her bed-head hair. Would Ryder go back to the ranch and shower and change before picking her up for Durango or did he plan to camp out in front of her house the rest of the morning?

The warmth that started in her belly when she realized Ryder had kept watch in his truck all night engulfed other areas of her anatomy as she felt the full weight of her feminine power settle around her shoulders like a fur stole. She liked the protection he offered, but she loved the other offer in his dark blue eyes as his hungry gaze devoured her before he left last night.

She’d been crazy to refuse that invitation. Of course they shared feelings in the past. They probably never acted on those feelings because of Jeremy and her pregnancy. Maybe that’s why Ryder wouldn’t give her the details of their relationship. She’d been in a bad marriage and in love with another man-Ryder.

He was just waiting for her to remember. She could understand that, but she couldn’t understand why she didn’t remember Ryder. She knew him on a visceral level, but couldn’t quite grasp the specific memories of their relationship.

She wedged a shoulder on the window sash and grinned as Ryder’s truck sputtered to life and pulled away from the curb. Maybe she’d get a handle on those memories today in her last session with Dr. Brody.

As soon as Ryder’s truck disappeared around the bend, Charlie Malone’s jeep careened around the corner and stopped in front of her house. He came around to the passenger side and opened the door. A leggy brunette, tugging at a thigh-high denim skirt tripped out of the car.

Julia swung open her door and stepped onto the porch. “Hey, Charlie.”

“Hi, Julia.” He lifted his hand before stuffing it into his pocket. “My mom sent me over to see if you needed any help.”