She shook her head and her silky brown hair slid over her shoulder. “But what? What could’ve happened?”

Ryder pushed up from the bed and paced in front of the window. Did he want these memories to come back for her? Would they put her in danger?

“You know.” Julia jumped from the bed and blocked his path, hands planted on her hips. “Tell me. How did Jeremy die and where?”

Ryder blew out a breath and squared his shoulders. “Jeremy was murdered over three years ago…in Arizona.”

A dull pain thudded against her temples and she dropped to the edge of the bed. “Three years ago in Arizona?”

“I heard about it a month after it happened.” Joining her on the bed, Ryder rested an arm across her shoulders. “That’s when I called you in Paris and discovered you’d left for the States.”

“ Arizona.” She gripped the bedspread with stiff fingers. She must’ve seen Jeremy before he was murdered or maybe she witnessed the murder, or…“Do you think I…?”

“Had anything to do with the murder?” He stroked her hair, and his hands seemed to draw the tension out of her body. “Absolutely not. You’re no expert in explosives.”

“Explosives?” She jerked her head up. “Jeremy died in a bomb blast?”

“Someone planted plastiques around his house in Arizona and detonated them while Jeremy was inside. They identified his remains, or at least some jewelry he wore. The fire from the bomb blast incinerated his body.”

“Do you think that’s what I was running from? Do you think I was there when the house exploded and Jeremy died?”

“Maybe.” Ryder plucked up one of her hands, nervously bunching the bedspread, and chafed it between his two palms. “Julia, Jeremy was no longer working for the agency when he was killed. He was under investigation for espionage, selling State secrets.”

She swallowed and the pain in her head came roaring back. Her past got crazier and crazier each time Ryder revealed a piece of information. “Did the agency kill him?”

“Black Cobra works outside the boundaries of government oversight, but not that far outside. If we gathered enough evidence, we would’ve arrested him and charged him with treason.”

“Black Cobra? Is that the name of your agency?”

Squeezing her hand, he nodded. “Not even my family knows that, but you knew the name before. You deserve to know it now.”

Black Cobra. Drawing her brows together, she grabbed Ryder’s forearm and turned it around to inspect the inside, running her fingertip from his elbow to his wrist.

Ryder sucked in a sharp breath. “What is it, Julia? Do you remember something?”

“A tattoo. I remember a tattoo of a black snake, here on someone’s arm.”

“You remember Jeremy’s tattoo.” Ryder shrugged. “He had a flair for the dramatic.”

She jumped up from the bed. “Oh my God, it’s all going to come back to me, isn’t it? With you here feeding me information, I’m going to start remembering. I’ll finally know why I was in that stolen car with all the money. I’ll be able to give Shelby a little bit of her father back.”

Ryder stiffened, his blue eyes kindling with emotion.

“Jeremy wasn’t all bad, was he, Ryder?” She dropped to her knees in front of him. “I can tell Shelby a few good things about her father, can’t I?”

His jaw tightened and then he cupped her face in his hands. “Jeremy had a great sense of humor, always playing practical jokes. He attracted people to him effortlessly, could make anyone do just about anything. That’s why it cut so deep when he turned.”

“Why do you think he did it?” She leaned her elbows on his knees.

“He scratched and scrambled his way out of a tough neighborhood in New York. He liked money and material possessions. His government job didn’t provide him with enough of either. But more than anything, Jeremy liked to take risks.”

Crossing her legs, she leaned back on her hands. “I can’t believe I’d fall for someone like that and actually marry him.”

“You were in a vulnerable place after your father died.” His lips twisted. “Jeremy swept you off your feet. He could do that to women.”

“Apparently he didn’t stop doing it even after we got married.”

“No, but at least his infidelity opened your eyes, and you dumped him. I don’t think anyone had ever dumped Jeremy before.”

“I wish…” Drawing her knees to her chest, she covered her mouth with her hand. She wished Ryder with his strong presence and protective manner had been at that party in Paris instead of Jeremy. Maybe then he’d be Shelby ’s father instead of some unfaithful, treasonous dead man.

“Are you all right?” Ryder slid to the floor in front of her, his knees touching hers. “What do you wish, Julia?”

His intense gaze seared her face, and her mind struggled to give him what he demanded-recognition. Although her brain couldn’t process Ryder McClintock, her heart could. She felt this man deep in her bones. Somehow she knew she could depend on him, had depended on him in the past. He’d saved her once, and she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do so again.

Why wouldn’t he explain everything?

“You’re on the floor.” Shelby tumbled into the room, giggling. She wedged herself between them. “You’re silly.”

Plucking one of Shelby ’s butterscotch curls between his fingers, Ryder said, “Grown-ups like to play on the floor sometimes, too. Kids don’t rule the floor.”

Shelby leaned against Ryder’s legs, touching a finger to his nose. “You’re silly.”

Her daughter knew she could depend on Ryder, too.

Ryder pushed up from the floor, tucking Shelby under one arm. “Do you ladies want to come to dinner at the McClintocks’ tonight?”

Shelby squealed as Ryder swung her back and forth.

Scrambling to her feet, Julia said, “We don’t want to intrude on your family. They’ve barely seen you since you’ve been home.”

“You’re right. They don’t see me for over three years and I drop my bags at the ranch and head on out again.” He set Shelby on her feet, and she reached up her arms for another ride.

“That’s enough, Shelby.”

“I don’t mind.” Ryder scooped up Shelby and carried her into the front yard. On the little patch of grass, he grasped her hands and they went around and around in a circle. Occasionally, Shelby ’s feet left the ground and she shrieked in excitement.

“She’s a daredevil.” Julia laughed and shook her head. Shelby loved to play rough, but most of the surrogate fathers she had in Silverhill favored bad backs, walked with canes or tired out after fifteen minutes of Shelby time.

After a few wobbly steps, Shelby scampered away to add to her rock collection.

“That little girl has a lot of energy.” Ryder shoved his hands in the pockets of his faded jeans. “Are you sure about dinner tonight? I know Dad and Pam have heard all about our connection by now and would love to have you and Shelby over.”

Julia thought about sitting around the dinner table with the McClintocks-Ryder’s father, stepmother, his older brother, Rod, and various ranch hands-and shuddered. She craved peace and quiet after all the bombshells today and a night with the boisterous McClintocks promised anything but.

“I’ll pass on dinner, but can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

She blinked her eyes at the promptness of his response. He really did want to help her. “I have an appointment with my psychologist, Dr. Brody, tomorrow afternoon. Can you come with me? I think it would really help.”

“I’ll be there. What do you do with Shelby?”

“Millie Stoker takes her. I work with Millie’s daughter, Maddy, in their antique shop most days while Millie watches Shelby.” Julia knotted her hands. “I don’t want to pull you away from your family.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be here for a while before my next assignment. I’ll have plenty of time to catch up with the family. What time should I pick you up?”