All right; I would do it. When Weiss began in Palm Beach, I would be there waiting for him. With that settled I flipped open the notebook for one last look at handsome Comic Book Dexter. But before I could really sink into a self-admiring trance a car pulled up next to mine and a man got out.

It was Coulter.

Detective Coulter came around the rear end of his car and paused, looked at me, and then went back to the driver's side of his car and disappeared for a moment.

I used the time to slip the notebook under my seat, and Coulter popped right back up and again came around the tail end of the car, this time with his two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew in one hand. He leaned his backside against his car, looked at me, and took a large sip of soda. Then he wiped his mouth on the back of his arm.

“You weren't in your office” he said.

“No, I wasn't” I said. After all, here I was.

“So when the call comes on the radio, it's your wife, I look in to tell you” he said, and he shrugged. “You're not there. You're here already, right?” He didn't wait for an answer, which was just as well, since I didn't have one. Instead he took another swig from his soda bottle, wiped his mouth again, and said, “Same school where we got that Scout leader guy, too, huh?”

“That's right.”

“But you were already here when it happened?” he said, trying to look innocently surprised. “How'd that happen, anyway?” I was very sure that telling Coulter I'd had a hunch would not make him want to shake my hand and congratulate me. So, launching myself off my legendary wit once again, I heard myself saying, “I thought I'd come down and surprise Rita and the kids.” Coulter nodded as if he found that very believable. “Surprise “em” he said. “Guess somebody else beat you to it.”

“Yes” I said carefully. “It certainly looks like it.” He took another long pull on the soda bottle, but this time he didn't wipe his mouth, he just turned and stared back at the main road where the tow truck was now hauling away Weiss's car. “You got any idea who that might have been that did this to your wife and kids?” he said without looking back at me.

“No” I said. I guess I just assumed it was, you know. An accident?”

“Huh” he said, and now he was staring at me. “An accident. Jeez, I hadn't even thought of that one. “Cause, you know. It's the same school where that Cub Scout guy was killed. And also it's you here again. So, hey. An accident. Really? You think?” I, I just —why wouldn't it be?” I have practiced for a lifetime, and my expression of surprise is certainly a very good one, but Coulter didn't look terribly convinced.

“This guy Donkey wit” he said.

“Doncevic” I said.

“Whatever.” He shrugged. “Looks like he's disappeared. You know anything about that?”

“Why would I know about that?” I said, putting as much astonishment on my face as I could.

“Just skipped bail, run away from his boyfriend, and disappeared,” he said. “Why would he do that?” I really don't know” I said.

“You ever read, Dexter?” he said, and the way he used my first name worried me —it sounded like he was talking to a suspect. And of course he was, but I was still hoping he wouldn't think of me that way.

“Read?” I said. “Um, not a whole lot, no. Why?” I like to read” he said. And then apparently shifting gears he went on, “Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.”

“Excuse me?” I said. He had lost me somewhere around “I like to read“.

“It's from Goldfinger,” he said. “Where he's telling James Bond, I come across you three times where you don't belong, it ain't a coincidence.” He sipped, wiped his mouth, and watched me sweat.

“Love that book. Must of read it like three, four times” he said.

I haven't read it” I said politely.

“So, we got you here” he went on. “And we got you at the house that blows up. And that's two times we shouldn't have you anywhere around. Am I s'posed to think that's coincidence?”

“What else would it be?” I said.

He just looked without blinking. Then he took another sip of his Mountain Dew. I don't know” he said at last. “But I know what Goldfinger would say it is if there's a third time.”

“Well, let's hope there isn't” I said, and I truly meant it this time.

“Yeah” he said. He nodded, stuck his index finger into the mouth of the soda bottle, and stood up. “Let's just hope the shit out of that” he said. He turned away, walked back around his car, got in, and drove away.

If I had been a little bit more of a fond observer of human foible, I'm sure I would have taken great joy in discovering new depths in Detective Coulter. How wonderful to find that he was a devotee of the literary arts! But the joy of this discovery was diminished by the fact that I really had no interest in what Coulter did with his time, provided he did it away from me. I had barely gotten Sergeant Doakes off perpetual Dexter watch, and now here came Coulter to take his place. It was like I was the victim of some strange and sinister Dexter-persecuting Tibetan sect —whenever the old Dexter-hating lama died, a new one was born to take his place.

But there was very little I could do about that right now. I was about to become a major work of art, and at the moment that was a far more pressing problem. I got into my car, started the engine, and drove home.

When I got to the house I had to stand outside and knock for several minutes, since Rita had decided to fasten the security chain on the inside of the door. I suppose I was lucky that she had not piled the couch and the refrigerator in front of the door as well.

Possibly that was only because she needed to use the couch; she was huddled on it with the two children clutched tightly to her, one on each side, and after letting me in —somewhat reluctantly —she resumed her position, throwing a protective arm around each child.

Cody and Astor had almost identical looks of annoyed boredom on their faces. Apparently, cringing in terror in the living room was not the sort of quality bonding time they truly appreciated.

“You took so long” Rita said as she slid the chain back on the door.

I had to talk to a detective” I said.

“Well, but” she said, sliding back onto the couch between the children. I mean, we were worried.”

“We weren't worried” Astor said, rolling her eyes at her mother.

“Because I mean, that man could be anywhere right now” Rita said. “He could be right outside, right now.” And even though none of us really believed that —not even Rita —all four of us swivelled our heads to the door for a look. Happily for us, he wasn't there, at least not as far as we could tell by trying to look through a closed and locked door. “Please, Dexter” Rita said, and the edge of fear was so sharp in her voice I could smell it. “Please, this is —what is ... why is this happening? I can't...” She made several large but incomplete motions with her hands and then dropped them into her lap. “This has to stop” she said. “Make it stop.” In all honesty, I could only think of a few things I would rather do than make it stop —and several of those things could easily be part of making it stop, just as soon as I caught Weiss. But before I could really concentrate on making happy plans, the doorbell rang.

Rita responded by lurching up into the air and then settling back down again with one child pulled in tight on each side of her. “Oh God” she said. “Who could that be?” I was pretty sure it was not a Mormon youth ministry, but I just said, “I'll get it” and went to the door. Just to be safe, I peaked through the little spy hole —Mormons can be so persistent —and what I saw was even scarier.

Sergeant Doakes stood on my doorstep.

He was clutching the little silver computer that now spoke for him, and at his elbow was a clean-cut middle-aged woman in a grey suit, and even though she was not wearing a fedora I was reasonably sure she was the fed I had been threatened with.