I nudged Shiara. "Offer to do something for him," I hissed.
"What? Why?"
"If you insult a dragon, you have to do him a favor," I said. "Hurry up!" If she didn't say something quickly, the dragon would probably eat both of us. Unfortunately, the dragon might eat Shiara anyway.
The favor most dragons want is dinner. I couldn't tell Shiara that, though, without offending the dragon. I wondered whether I could talk the dragon out of eating us, if it came to that. I didn't think so.
Dragons are stubborn.
The dragon's eyes glittered. Shiara looked at it. "Can I do anything for you?" she asked finally. She sounded a little sullen, but dragons aren't very good at tone of voice. Besides, it's the offer that counts.
"Find me a princess," the dragon said promptly.
I breathed a very quiet sigh of relief. I didn't think there was a polite way to kill a dragon, and I hadn't been able to think of any other way of stopping it from eating Shiara and me if it wanted to. It was nice to know I wouldn't have to try.
"You want a princess?" Shiara looked thoughtful. "Why?"
"Dragons are supposed to have princesses," the dragon explained. "I can't be considered a proper dragon until I have one. But I've been looking for two days, and I haven't seen even a smell of a princess, and I'm tired of it.
So you do it."
"You aren't going to eat her or anything, are you?" Shiara asked.
"Eat her?" The dragon sounded horrified. "And waste a perfectly good princess? Of course not! There aren't enough of them to go around as it is. What kind of barbarian do you think I am?"
"Well, I've never met a dragon before," Shiara said. "How was I supposed to know? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"All right," said the dragon. "But you have to get me a princess. It doesn't have to be a large one."
"Do you want any particular kind of princess?" Shiara asked. "I want to be sure you'll be satisfied."
"Oh, young and beautiful, of course," the dragon said. "Are there other kinds?"
"There are enchanted princesses," Shiara pointed out. "Especially around here."
"That's right. Say, maybe that's why I haven't found one!"
"I wouldn't be surprised," Shiara said. "But will you take an enchanted princess?"
The dragon thought for a minute. "No, I don't think so. Spells make things too complicated."
"And does it matter how long it takes me to find her?" Shiara went on.
The dragon considered. "I don't want to wait too long, but I really don't want to be unreasonable, either. How about a week? You bring the princess here by a week from today, otherwise you owe me another favor."
It licked its lips with a long red tongue.
"That sounds reasonable," Shiara said. "But what if I'm early?"
Suddenly I realized what Shiara was planning to do. I edged around the clearing, toward where the Princess was lying, but I wasn't quite fast enough.
"The earlier the better," the dragon said.
"Then, there's your princess!" Shiara said, and pointed.
"My, you do work fast," the dragon said. It turned and looked at the Princess. "She's certainly beautiful enough, but are you sure she isn't enchanted?"
"I'm quite sure," Shiara said.
"Then why is she asleep in the middle of the day? I didn't think princesses were nocturnal creatures."
"She just fainted when she saw you," Shiara said reassuringly. "It's nothing to worry about. It happens to princesses all the time. Will she do?"
"Quite well." The dragon nodded. "You're very prompt. Thank you very much."
Shiara nodded. I waited until the dragon turned away, then I frowned at Shiara.
"Why did you do that?" I whispered. "That was a terrible thing to do!"
"Would you rather I got eaten?" Shiara whispered back. "She won't get eaten. The dragon said so. And I bet it won't want her for long.
Dragons are smarter than some people."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I looked back at the dragon. As it bent its head to inspect the Princess more closely, the Princess opened her eyes. She gave a small scream, and the dragon frowned.
"You don't have to be frightened," it said. "Really. You're my princess now, and I'm going to take proper care of you, and you can clean my scales and cook for me. I believe that's the standard arrangement."
The Princess burst into tears. The dragon pulled back, eyeing her uncomfortably. "Did I say something wrong?"
The Princess just cried harder. "Alas! Ah, woe is me! So recently was I happy, awaiting the coming of my love to rescue me from this dismal forest! And now am I a prisoner of a monster, and when my love arrives he will be eaten by this awful beast, and I abandoned to my fate! Alas, that I should come to this!"
The dragon looked considerably taken aback. It turned to Shiara and me. "This is a princess?"
"Yes, she is," I said, and Shiara nodded.
The Princess had heard the question, too, and she raised her head.
"Indeed, I am a princess, and the daughter of a king, and see to what misery I have been brought!" she said tragically. "Alas, the day I left my father's house! Yet would I flee again, and endure with patience all the trials and woes which have come upon me, only to be with my love once more!"
The dragon backed up a pace. "Are you sure this is a princess?"
"Alas! Now even my birth is doubted, and to whom shall I turn in my distress? Ah, pity my sad state! For I am alone and friendless, and parted from my love. Ah, woe! That ever I let him leave my side! For he is mighty among men, most brave and fearsome in battle, and of a fair and pleasing appearance in all things, and he would not leave me thus, did he but know my fate." She went back to crying.
"If this is a princess, I'm not sure I want one after all," the dragon said.
It looked at the Princess speculatively. "Maybe I could eat her instead."
"Ah, help!" said the Princess.
"I really don't think you should eat her," I said. "After all, you did say you wouldn't."
"That's right, I did." The dragon looked at the Princess, who was crying again, and sighed. "Nobody told me princesses were like this," it said in an aggrieved tone. "And who is this love she keeps talking about?"
"We haven't met him yet, I'm afraid," I said. "She says he's a knight that she ran away with because her father wanted her to marry someone else."
"A knight?" The dragon backed up a little farther. "I don't think I'm ready for knights yet. They're so unpredictable. I don't suppose you could find me a princess without a knight?"
"All really good princesses have knights," Shiara said firmly. "And you wouldn't want a second-rate princess, would you?"
"All of them?" the dragon asked plaintively.
"Well, not all of them," I said. "Some of them have princes instead."
"Princes are much worse than knights," Shiara said thoughtfully.
"They have magic rings and sorceresses for godmothers and things like that. With knights you only have to worry about their armor and weapons, and maybe once in a while an enchanted sword."
"My love has no need of magic!" the Princess broke in indignantly.
"For he is most strong and skilled, and never has he been beaten in combat with sword or spear. Woe that he is no longer at my side!"
"I don't like the sound of this," the dragon said uneasily. "Maybe if I just-" There was a loud crash from the bushes at the edge of the clearing, and then a rather tinny-sounding voice said, "What ho! A dragon?"
The Princess stopped crying very suddenly and sat up quite straight.
"Hark! My love approaches! Now shall you see his prowess for yourselves!"
There were more crashing noises. The dragon backed up again, looking nervous. A moment later a knight in a dented suit of armor fell through the middle of the thickest clump of bushes, right in front of the dragon.