She knew her firearms. Which made her even more annoying.

“So what happened next?” Phin asked.

Holly grinned. “Well, I probably missed his peter by two inches, and that would have scared the spaghetti out of most men, but this guy still just stands there. Now the only way I can collect from the bondsman is if I bring him in, and he outweighed me by about a hundred pounds and wasn’t afraid of guns.”

Harry’s smile threatened to crack his face. “I love this next part. Tell them what you did, baby.”

“I put away my gun, walked up to the prick, and asked him if he was right-handed or left-handed.”

“And what did he say?” This from Harry, who had somehow turned into Ed McMahon.

“He called me a bitch, and told me it was none of my business.”

“So what did you do?”

I know what I did. I drank more wine.

Holly sipped some wine too. Both Phin and Harry reached for the bottle to pour her more. Phin won.

I set my empty glass on the table.

No one filled it.

“Well, I told the guy that I was originally planning on just breaking his bad arm. But since he wouldn’t tell me which that was, I’d have to break them both.”

Harry clapped again, and let out an inappropriate whoop.

“So what did he do?”

“He laughed in my face.”

“And what did you do?”

Holly’s smile was tight-lipped. “I broke both of his arms.”

Harry laughed, and Phin joined in. A waitress came by and filled my wineglass, asking if we’d like another bottle. I gave her a vigorous nod.

Harry nudged me. “Holly’s a martial arts expert.”

“Really?” I feigned interest. “Which discipline?”

She shrugged. “Tae kwon do. Third dan black belt, but I don’t practice much anymore.”

I was only a first dan black belt. I drank more wine, then tried the bread. Excellent bread.

“So where did you two meet?” This from Phin.

McGlade puffed out his chest. “Eye-Con. It’s the largest private investigator convention of the year. Held in Chicago this year, in February. I sat next to her during a lecture about listening devices, and she recognized my name from the TV series.”

“You just met two months ago?” I formed the words around the bread in my mouth. “Isn’t it kind of soon to leap into marriage?”

“Why wait?” Holly reached over and held McGlade’s hand. “We’re not getting any younger.”

I went fishing. “That’s ridiculous. You’re how old, thirty?”

“Thanks so much.” Holly patted my forearm. “I’m thirty-eight.”

Now I really hated her.

The waitress came again, with more wine, and after an elaborate wine presentation she discussed the daily specials. I tuned her out, trying to understand what the hell Holly saw in Harry. He was probably rich because of the series, but all the money in the world didn’t make up for the fact that McGlade was one of the most obnoxious, offensive, and annoying people to ever drag his knuckles, and Holly seemed, well, perfect.

We ordered. Holly regaled the boys with more tales of heroics. I drank. After my fourth glass, I came right out and asked.

“Holly, you have to tell me. What in God’s name are you doing with McGlade?”

“What do you mean?”

I mutely gestured with both hands, finally saying, “Well, look at him.”

Holly placed a hand on Harry’s head and ruffled his curly brown hair.

“He makes me laugh.”

McGlade wedged a fist-sized hunk of bread into his mouth. “Plus I’m hung like a beluga whale. But I have more hair.”

They shared a kiss. I rolled my eyes. I’d fallen for my share of losers too. At least when she divorced him, she’d get a decent settlement.

Dinner arrived, and it was probably excellent, but I had too much of a buzz to notice. I switched from wine to coffee, knowing I’d eventually have to drive, and Holly held Phin’s hand and asked him in a breathy Happy-Birthday-Mister-President voice if he’d do her the honor of standing up on her side at the wedding two days from now.

Phin agreed, of course. If she’d asked him to cut off his own legs he would have been racing for the hacksaw.

“And you, Jack, thank you so much for being there on Harry’s side.”

She said it in such a genuine way that I actually believed her.

“It’s my pleasure.” I wasn’t nearly as genuine.

If Holly noticed, she kept it hidden. “You know, I’ve got some free time during the afternoon tomorrow. It’ll be the first time in days.”

Harry grinned and held her hand. “I don’t like letting her out of my sight for very long.”

Holly grinned back. Love sure was disgusting.

“Anyway, Jack, I haven’t been shooting in forever. Would you like to fire off a few rounds?”

“Sure.” I didn’t know what else to say. “Drop by the station tomorrow, around five. We’ll hit the range.”

I had no idea why she was making an effort, and an even lesser idea of why I was reciprocating. Because I had no friends? Because I still didn’t understand why such an incredible woman was marrying Harry?

Or was it because I’d take an obscene amount of delight in outscoring her ass on the firing range?

We had dessert, more coffee, and then Holly got up to visit the ladies’ room.

“Well?” Harry elbowed me in the arm. “What do you think of her? What a filly, right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, Harry. She’s a real filly.”

“How about you, Jim?”

“Phin.”

“Phin. Pretty prime piece of real estate I’m developing, huh?”

“She’s lovely.” Phin looked at me, for only the second time of the night, a question in his eyes.

Harry slurped some coffee, spilling it onto his shirt. “I’m the luckiest man who ever lived, that’s for sure. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, and the sex is mind-blowing. She doesn’t wear underwear. Can you believe it? I’m writing a letter to Penthouse.”

Holly returned, McGlade made a big show of picking up the check, and everyone hugged everyone else, some more enthusiastically than others. The valet got Harry’s car first, and he and Holly drove off honking and waving.

“That was surreal,” Phin said as we stood in the lobby.

“How so?”

“McGlade. That guy is an idiot. Actually, calling him an idiot isn’t fair to all the other idiots. What in God’s name is she doing with him?”

“McGlade’s rich. She could be gold-digging.”

“Maybe that’s it. She obviously doesn’t love him.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Come on, Jack. Who could love that guy? If I had to spend ten minutes alone with him I’d eat my gun. Or make him eat it.”

The valet pulled my car up.

“I read somewhere that beautiful women are often lonely because men are afraid to approach them.”

That received a snort. “Get real, Jack. Did you look around the restaurant? Everything with a Y chromosome was ogling her. Holly hasn’t lacked for companionship a single day of her life.”

That made me feel much better.

“You need a ride someplace?”

“No. I’m good. See you Monday, Jack.”

“Thanks for coming, Phin. I owe you one.”

“It was fun. Hey, you don’t like McGlade, right?”

“He’s like the brother I never wanted.”

“If he met with some kind of fatal accident, would that be a problem?”

I couldn’t tell if Phin was joking or not. I tipped the valet, climbed into my beater, and opened my window.

“You can’t kill him until I’m off the TV series.”

“Got it. You looked nice tonight, Jack.”

“I’m glad someone noticed,” I said. But I said it after I’d already pulled away.