"I wish that we had met under different conditions," she said, "in the fields, or in my own bed."
I did not speak.
"If you had first met me in a slave market, I on a slave shelf or bench, chained there, a property, waiting to be purchased, would you have considered buying me?"
"Certainly," I said.
"Am I that attractive?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.
"That pleases me," she whispered. Then she shuddered. "But woe," she said, "I am a free woman."
"Yes," I said.
"I am afraid," she said.
I held her more closely to me.
"That is why they have been feeding me, isn't it?" she asked. "For tomorrow?" "I think so," I said.
She sobbed, against me. I felt her tears on my chest. Then, suddenly, she looked at me, concerned. "But what of you?" she asked.
"Do not concern yourself with me," I said.
"No," she said, "what of you?"
"Willful free woman," I chided her.
"What of you?" she pressed.
"I do not know," I said. "I am not sure."
She put her head back, against my shoulder. The moonlight streamed in through the high, barred aperture. It was quiet outside. I held her in my arms, for a time, the naked spy, in the straw.
"Am I to be beaten tonight?" she asked.
"Is it necessary?" I asked.
"No!" she whispered.
"You are eager to serve, and be pleasing?" I asked. "Yes!" she said.
"Then it does not seem that there would be much point in it," I said. "No!" she hastened to assure me. "But if you were not pleased, you would, wouldn't you?" she asked.
"Yes," I said, "or if I wished to do so."
She shuddered against me, with pleasure. "I wish," she said, her voice soft, thrilled, vibrant with soft, frightened emotion, "that I had met a man such as you, long ago."
"Had you done so," I said, "you presumably would not be here now." "I do not regret having known you, and having served you, and as you have made me serve you, even under these circumstances."
"You enjoy serving," I said.
"Yes," she said, "I do, and had I the choice I would choose to have no choice but to serve, and serve as you have made me serve, totally."
"It is time to go to sleep," I said.
"Can you sleep at this time, on this night?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.
She then lay down in the straw, next to me. I heard her sob.
"I do not know if they will feed you in the morning or not," I said, "before they come for you, near noon. They might. In the event they do, do not eat the food. Give it all to me."
"All of it?" she said.
"Yes," I said.
"You would take the food, that food?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.
"You could do that?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.
She looked at me, puzzled.
"Surely you recognize that I would get more good out of it than you would," I said.
"Undoubtedly," she said, shuddering.
"Certainly," I said.
"I do not think I would be able to eat it, anyway," she said. "Good," I said. "Then there is no problem."
"No," she said. "There is no problem."
"Excellent," I said. I then, in a moment or two, I cannot remember it, was asleep.
14 Morning
"They are going to come for me before noon," she whispered.
The cell was in darkness.
"I know," I said. "I heard."
A few Ehn ago I had awakened instantly, hearing the movement of the observation panel. The warder had lifted a small, tharlarion-oil lamp to the aperture. "Prisoner Claudia, forward," she had whispered.
Lady Claudia had gone forward to kneel, before the door, dimly illuminated in the tiny bit of light coming through the aperture.
I had pretended to be asleep.
I conjectured it was something like an Ahn before dawn.
"Glory to Ar!" whispered the warder.
"Glory to Ar," moaned Lady Claudia. I do not think she had slept.
I then saw, in the light of the lamp, which had then been set on the floor outside the lower panel, the water pan put beneath the door. This was emptied into the small cistern by Lady Claudia, and the pan returned to the warder. "Is he awake?" inquired the warder.
"I do not think so," said Lady Claudia.
"Food pan forward," said the warder.
In a moment Lady Claudia knelt behind the cell's food pan, brought forward. "Glory to Ar!" whispered the warder. "Glory to Ar," sobbed Lady Claudia.
I think that the whispered tones of the warder were motivated primarily by her desire that Lady Claudia obtain her food and finish her feeding before I might awaken. In this fashion I might not take the food from her, or force her to share it. Perhaps she even expected her to be drawn out of the cell before I awakened, that I might awaken and simply find her gone. That might be easiest for them. Still I expected they would send two or three men to fetch her. Lady Claudia was now again kneeling before the cell's food pan, and the head of the warder, again holding the tiny lamp up, reappeared in the observation aperture.
"See?" asked the warder, whispering. "There is much more food there than usual, and meat!"
Lady Claudia looked down at the pan, in the dim light.
"Spread your knees!" suddenly hissed the warder.
Lady Claudia, startled, frightened, did so.
"There now," said the warder, amusement in her voice, "that is like the slave girl you are!"
Lady Claudia, interestingly, made no move to draw her knees back together. Rather she knelt there in that profoundly meaningful, indicative and vulnerable position, looking up at the warder. The food pan, which for once seemed amply filled, was before her, now almost as though framed between her knees.
"You and I know that you are really a slave, don't we?" asked the warder. "But we will not tell the men, will we?"
Lady Claudia said nothing.
"Do you know why you are fed so heartily?" she asked.
"It is a kindness to me," she said.
"No," laughed the warder. "It is to build up your strength so that you will squirm well on the impaling spear."
Lady Claudia looked at her, doubtless with horror.
"We want you to put on a good show for your Cosian friends," said the warder. "You may even last two or three Ahn."
Lady Claudia shuddered. In such an impalement, the female is usually simply set upon the spear. It is not necessary to bind them, straightened, they cannot reach the spear nor obtain any leverage for removing themselves from it. They are held upon it, helplessly, by their own weight. Usually such a fate is visited only upon a free woman. It is thought that it gives them time to consider and repent their ways. A slave girl, on the other hand, would be more likely, like meat, to be thrown to sleen.
"I heard them talking," said the warder. "They are going to come for you before noon, too. Perhaps they will come as soon as it is well light. I do not know, nor do you. Do you have six Ahn, or three, or two? Tremble within your cell, waiting to hear them come for you! When you hear the small sounds outside the door you will know they are here. When you see the door open you will know they have come for you! Eat well, naked spy!" The observation panel then slid shut with a click. I also heard the small latch drop into place, securing it, so that it could not be opened from the inside.
"They are going to come for me before noon," she had whispered, having crawled to my side.
"I know. I heard," I had told her.
"I wanted to bid you farewell," she said.
"Bring me the food," I said.
"Of course," she said, bitterly.
She turned about and crawled back toward the center of the cell where, feeling about, she located the pan of food. She then lifted it and rose up, and came back, slowly, feeling her way with her feet, through the straw.
"Why will they not wait at least until noon?" she asked, in misery. "It is a good sign," I said. "It is a very good sign." I did not explain this to her, but from so small a detail I gathered some estimate of the straits of the defenders, and the numbers and positions of the Cosians, and the menace of their engines.