One of the most powerful techniques to achieve perspective of process of which we are aware at this time is sculpturing, by which the therapist translates the family's processes into body postures and movements which represent the communication he has observed in the session. For example:

A father, Jack, might start out standing erect, with a rigid body, his head tilted up, appearing super-reasonable, a pillar of strength which is impenetrable. As he does this, his wife, Joyce, is kneeling in front of him in a worshiping, admiring position, staring up. Meanwhile, one by one each of their three children climbs onto Jack's back, until he can no longer bear the weight and collapses to the floor. At this point, Joyce springs up, taking a blaming posture, pointing her finger, her nostrils flaring, until Jack finally struggles to his feet and becomes a stiff board again so Joyce can kneel and worship him.

This visual display presents family members with a picture of process. It allows them to see how the patterns of their communication cycle change the content while the process remains the same.

Added perspective can be achieved by the therapist's describing the process as he moves the family members through this physical, as well as visual, process:

Step One: Jack stands erect, Joyce kneeling, children beginning to climb on Jack.

Therapist: I see Joyce appearing to admire Jack's ability to hold things together, being so smart and being someone she can look up to, while the kids are pulling on him to get some attention because he is always so busy keeping things together, and you people want some connection with this big, strong, smart man. And he is tough to get through to, so you pull harder and climb on him more to get him to notice you. Maybe you get in trouble in school so he has to help you with your homework. Or, you could ask him a continuous stream of "why" questions, and, because he is so smart, he'll have to answer. Meanwhile, you, Joyce, look on, admiring his ability to hold things together, until Jack, who looks so sturdy, suddenly falls down and has another breakdown. Now you kids can have contact — he can spend time with you, but poor Joyce is abruptly thrown into the position of keeping everything together. And where is her big, strong man? He now needs her to take care of him, so she nags him and nags him and finally reproaches him into getting back on his feet. Finally, Jack gets so scared of what Joyce might do that he struggles up and pretends that he is as strong as an ox. Now, he has to leave behind him his connection with his children, because he has to work extra hard to make up for the time he was sick. You kids miss him, so you begin to climb on him once again.

This adds yet another dimension to the process picture. The therapist can go even further and ask family members to report on their internal experience as they move through this process ballet. Jack, for instance, who is standing strong and erect, might say he actually feels lonely and like a tree branch which is about to break. While Joyce is blaming a broken Jack, she might report that she isn't really mad but scared and desperate. This, too, can add perspective to process. It might be carried yet another step by asking each family member, in each position, what would take off the strain. Jack might ask Joyce to stand up and help him instead of admiring him. As she stands, she might say, "I always wanted to help you and be on the same level with you, but I thought you could only stay strong if you thought I was weak and needed you to be that way." This kind of perspective on process not only removes blame and breaks calibration, but it also gives the family members an awareness of the process. This provides yet another choice for the family members to focus on in times of trouble. Before, they only had one perspective, their own. Now they can add to that a perspective of process and an awareness of how each family member's perspective of the same process can be different.

A perspective of system process provides family members with a tool to use to share their different perspectives without fault-finding. This offers family members the opportunity to learn about the various choices available to them within their own family system to send and receive messages. They have a tool to comprehend these differences and to learn from them. Of course, not every family will achieve this perspective in one session; each family will develop a sense of process at its own speed, an inch at a time, and each inch will be valuable to them. The overall strategy of the therapist in assisting families to achieve this perspective requires that he is comfortable with being patient, and that he is able to tap the family's own sources of inventiveness to find ways of allowing them to achieve this perspective of process.

We wish to emphasize that the particular examples which we have presented here are precisely that — examples. Our hope is that each of you will use your ability to create interesting and dynamic variations on these examples. However, we would make two suggestions:

1) Fully use the skills and resources of the family members. For example, if a family member is a sculptor or painter, or a musician, encourage them to use those mediums for learning.

2) Involve the maximum number of channels for learning when creating an experience — all of the input channels (the senses), all of the representational systems, and all of the output channels. Using this principle will encourage maximum learning by all of the family members.

The crises which occur in families present all of the members with situations in which they struggle to maintain a sense of self-worth. They are caught in a vortex. It is up to you, the therapist, to distill from the data the process description in clusters of information, and to present it in a non-judgmental way, so that, instead of having to understand innumerable bits of content, the family members need only to cope with three or four steps of process. They then can gain a perspective from which to start to grow.

Although the most well-formed outcome of family therapy is a completely open system, with perspective, feedback, freedom to explore and take new steps, this is not achieved by the therapist's attacking and breaking calibration loops at random like a bull in a china shop. A family system is a delicate structure which serves as the basis for interaction of a group of human beings who are not perfect and who don't need to be. Who can become enlightened overnight? Patience is a prime tool for the successful family therapist. It is not our job to thoroughly transform an individual family member. This could well result in that member's becoming alien to the system, thereby placing even more stress on it. The family therapist's task, rather, is to transform the system as a whole to a point wherein stress and strain are reduced, and nurturing and support can develop, so that all family members can continue to grow. Family therapists should not be trying to gain every possible inch from every family member, but, rather, they should be feeling their way, looking for a minimum amount of change for maximum results, while, at the same time, teaching family members how to use feedback instead of calibration and how to achieve perspective of system process.

Concentrating on achieving the maximum amount of change with a particular family member can result in skewing the system. Each family already has the possibility of change; our task is to increase those possibilities, those choices for growth and change for all family members. One of the most delightful experiences we can have and one which we continually work to create is that which we call the snowball effect — a therapeutic intervention which results in the family members' taking charge of the process of change themselves. Too rapid a change will disrupt the family system; too slow a change will discourage the members of the family who desperately want some new choices and experiences for themselves. This is the trickiest part of family therapy, to evolve the system as a whole to a point at which it provides a solid foundation of support among family members who have the tools with which to proceed in a certain direction. This is the state wherein individual family members feel free to make choices for themselves. The therapist should realize that family therapy is based upon the understanding that every change in any member of a family system has a ripple effect on every other family member. So, if little Johnny, say, is catatonic, to focus our energies on curing Johnny's symptoms will be futile, since, as soon as he returns to the family system, he will respond to that system in the same old ways, unless the patterns of that system have been changed.