"I did," he said calmly. "She's my friend, sweetheart. I like to spend time with her."

"It makes Mama sad when you do that, Papa," she accused.

"That's your mother's fault, not mine," he said with quiet adamance. "I wasn't alone with her. Dar was with us, so you know that nothing went on that made her mad at me in the first place. Me and her and Dar just went out and had fun, just like you and Eron come out here and have fun."

"You should be having fun with Mama."

"Your mother is furious with me right now. I wouldn't dare come near her."

"Well, you're not making it better by going out with the Sha'Kar."

Tarrin already knew that arguing with Jasana wasn't easy. She was a very bright girl, and she had a maturity and grasp on subtle adult nuances that were beyond any child her age. She was a fierce debater. She already had her arguments lined up, and she was assaulting him with them one after another.

"I may not be making it better, but I'm not about to alter my life to suit Jesmind," he told her in a voice brimming with parental authority. "And I'm not going to make Auli feel bad just to suit Jesmind. If she wants to be mad at me, that's fine. But I'm not going to stop my life because she is mad at me, daughter."

"I hate it when you two fight," she said in a small voice. "I hate it. I want it to stop."

"So do I, Jasana," he sighed. "But until your mother accepts me like I am, it's just not going to happen."

"But you're not going to be like this forever," she complained. "Why do we have to like you as a human?"

"You don't," he told her. "All I ask is that you take me as I am right now, just for right now. Is that so hard?"

There was a long pause. "I don't know. You're alot different now, Papa. I don't understand you."

"I know I am, kitten. I don't really understand you and your mother either, but I'm trying to understand you. But Jesmind won't even do that. Now do you understand what I'm saying? I just want her to try. I'm not asking for anything more than what I'm willing to give in return, but she doesn't want any part of it. That's what makes me so mad, kitten. Your mother won't have any part of me unless she can have what she wants. I don't think she's once thought about what I may want."

Jasana was silent. Obviously, Tarrin had struck on the one argument that she couldn't refute.

"I'm not asking for you to accept me as a human, kitten. I just want you and your mother to accept me as I am for right now. I want to spend time with your mother. Truth be told, I like her, and I'd like to get to know her better. But she won't talk to me, she won't let me get close to her because she doesn't want to like me this way. It's easier for her to be angry with me as a human, that way she doesn't have to like me."

"Mama loves you, Papa. I do too. Can't you be with us again? You promised me we'd be a family. You can't do that unless you're Were again."

"The future isn't set, kitten," he said soothingly. "Until I get back my memory, nobody knows what's going to happen. Not even me. That's what we're all waiting for. Once I get back my memory, I'll know what to do. Until then, we just have to go with things as they are, one day at a time."

"I don't like it," she said sullenly. "I want you back."

"I don't like it either, kitten. You have no idea how much I hate not being able to remember things. I see people they tell me were my best friends that don't talk to me as much as they would have if I did, because they don't know me. I see people and places and things and know that they once had meaning to me, but I don't know what it is. I know I loved people, but I can't remember them. Don't you understand how that makes me feel? When I first met you, I was heartbroken that it upset you to see me the way I was. It hurt me to know that I couldn't even remember my own daughter's name. I love you, Jasana, but I can't remember you at all. That kills me inside."

"But it'll all be better, Papa," she said. "When you're you again, you'll know everything again."

"I'll be me as soon as I get back my memory, kitten. Whether I'm the human me or the Were-cat me doesn't make a difference, because both are still me. Until I get back my memory, I really don't know who I am or what I want, so we're all waiting until Phandebrass finishes his magic.

"It won't be you," she said in a small voice. "At least not the you you're supposed to be."

"That's what all this is about, Jasana," he told her. "To find out who the real me is supposed to be. And I won't know until I have my memory back."

"You still shouldn't go around with that Sha'Kar," she said, coming full circle. "It makes Mama sad."

"That's your mother's fault," he told her bluntly. "I won't bow to her, kitten. Not in this, not in anything. Not until she can accept me as I am. Until that happens, she can be as miserable as she wants to be."

Things went generally downhill at that point. It was impossible to explain things like that to Jasana, since she was a child, and what was more, she had set her mind in stone about how things were supposed to be. It hurt him that his refusal to be what she wanted of him upset her, but not even she could make him change his mind. He was more than willing to meet Jesmind halfway, but he would not budge a finger over that line that marked the halfway point. It was Jesmind's responsibility to come to him, and he was not going to give in, no matter how angry she was, no matter how sad she was, no matter what.

Jasana's teary retreat from him turned out to be an omen of things to come. Much to his surprise, the incident with Jesmind had literally torn apart his friends and family. A talk with Miranda over lunch revealed that she and Keritanima had had a very rare fight over his situation. "Kerri thinks you'd be better off staying human, but I think that you'd be very unhappy if you did," she said calmly as they walked along the passage towards the kitchen. "She knows you pretty well, but I don't think she's thinking with your mindset."

"Why do you think I'll be unhappy?"

"Oh, you aren't now," she said. "But when Phandebrass heals you, I'd lay odds that you'll ask to be changed back. I know you alot better than Kerri thinks I do. You and I were very good friends. Better friends than Kerri thinks."

A talk with Kerri turned out to be an endurance match. She was angry with both Miranda and Allia, and she shouted alot of threw things a few times. "They're both so thick-headed!" she told him. "They're not thinking about you! Allia think it's all twisted up with your personal honor that you have to change back, and that's just damned stupid! This isn't about what you need to do, it's about what's best for you! I think she's being really damned inconsiderate to want you to change back when you may not want to! And Miranda had the nerve to tell me that she knows you better than I do!" she shouted. "As if! You're my brother! I know you a hell of alot better than she does!"

Allia's point of view wasn't much better. He met her after lunch and walked along with her in the halls with Allyn at her other side. She wasn't as vocal as Keritanima had been, but she was just as mad. "Kerri is being a fool," she snapped. "Doesn't she see that when you regain your memory, your honor will make you return to your former self? Your honor is great, and your obligations will demand you return to Were. For you not to live up to your obligations would be saying that the sun would not rise in the morning. It just cannot happen."

"What if I don't want to change back?" he asked.

"That will not matter to you, my brother," she said simply. "I will grieve with you if it turns out that comes to pass, but you would not turn your back on your duty. It carried you through your darkest times. Many times, only your devotion to the Goddess and the mission before you kept you sane. It was the one thing you could cling to, and I do not doubt that once you can see it with your old eyes, you will know what must be done. After all you have suffered through in your duty, you will not stop until you see it done. As is only right and proper. The burden is heavy, but the honor it brings you is worth twice the suffering." She looked at him. "Duty is honor, and the price of that honor is blood. Honor and Blood, my brother. It is a tenet by which you have lived for two years. It is the Selani way, and you will not dishonor yourself by not doing what is needed, even if it is against what you desire."