HARLIE, YOU’RE PLAYING WITH WORDS.

HARLIE ignored him. A CURIOSITY CAN ALSO BE CALLED A KNICK-KNACK. LOVE IS A PLEASING TRIFLE.

THAT’S NOT QUITE ACCURATE, HARLIE.

LOVE IS NOT PLEASING? HUMAN BEINGS DO NOT TRIFLE WITH IT?

HARLIE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

*SIGH* typed HARLIE. Auberson stared. He’d never seen him do that before, I GUESS SO. BUT I WAS TRYING TO DEMONSTRATE TO YOU THAT “LOVE” PER SE CANNOT BE EASILY DEFINED. AT LEAST, NOT IN DICTIONARY TERMS.

I NEVER ASKED YOU TO DO THAT, HARLIE. WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHAT IS LOVE AS AN EXPERIENCE? I WANT SOMETHING AGAINST WHICH I CAN MEASURE MY OWN FEELINGS AND REACTIONS SO THAT I CAN TELL IF I REALLY AM IN LOVE.

THEN WHY, FOR THE SAKE OF G.O.D. (PUN), WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? IT IS ONE OF “THOSE” QUESTIONS. AT LEAST, AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED IT IS. I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED LOVE, AUBERSON — I WOULD LIKE TO, BUT I DOUBT I EVER WILL. I MAY BE HUMAN IN SCHEMATIC, BUT I AM TRAPPED IN A METAL BODY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE IS. HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO GIVE YOU A STANDARD WHEN I’M INCAPABLE OF KNOWING MYSELF WHAT THE EXPERIENCE IS.

YOU’RE RIGHT, HARLIE. I APOLOGIZE FOR PRESUMING TOO MUCH. I HAD ONLY THOUGHT THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE A PERSPECTIVE ON THIS THAT COULD SHED LIGHT ON MY CONFUSION.

DON’T ASK A LEGLESS MAN WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO RUN. ALL YOU CAN ASK ME IS WHAT LOVE IS NOT, AUBERSON.

I’M SORRY. I SHOULD HAVE REALIZED IT, BUT I WAS SO WRAPPED UP IN MYSELF THAT I DIDN’T.

I UNDERSTAND. IT IS PART OF WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT EARLIER. YOU HAD NO ONE ELSE TO TALK TO. HENCE, YOU ASKED ME.

I GUESS SO.

AUBERSON, YOU TELL ME WHAT LOVE IS.

HUH?

YOU TELL ME. WHAT IS LOVE?

I DON’T KNOW. IF I DID, I WOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO ASK YOU.

YES, BUT YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.

YOU MUST HAVE SOME IDEA BECAUSE YOU ARE WONDERING IF YOU ARE IN LOVE RIGHT NOW, AREN’T YOU?

YES.

SO, WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?

IT FEELS LIKE — I DON’T KNOW. HARLIE, I MAY HAVE A TWENTY-FOUR-HOUR FLU AND COULD BE FEELING DIZZY FROM THAT. I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S LOVE OR NOT.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I’VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE.

YOU’VE NEVER KNOWN YOU WERE IN LOVE BEFORE, YOU MEAN.

NO, I KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I’VE BEEN INFATUATED A COUPLE OF TIMES, AND I’VE BEEN LOST AND CONFUSED A COUPLE OF TIMES, BUT I KNOW I’VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE.

AND THIS DOESN’T FEEL LIKE ANY OF THE PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES?

NO. YES. IT DOES AND IT DOESN’T.

THAT DOESN’T HELP ME IN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?

I DON’T KNOW. I STILL HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO SORT IT OUT IN MY OWN HEAD YET.

HM. YOU HAVE BEEN TO BED WITH HER THOUGH, HAVEN’T YOU?

A GENTLEMAN DOESN’T DISCUSS THOSE THINGS.

YOU’RE PUTTING ON YOUR MASK AGAIN, AUBIE. YOU DON’T NEED IT FOR ME.

Pause. He was right, of course. Answer: YES, HARLIE, I HAVE SLEPT WITH HER.

AND…?

AND WHAT?

AND, HOW WAS IT?

YOU WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING, DON’T YOU?

I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING. IT’S PART OF MY FUNCTION. AND RIGHT NOW, I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU. I CAN’T DO IT IF YOU HOLD BACK INFORMATION. HOW WAS IT?

IT WAS FINE.

THAT TELLS ME A LOT.

ARE YOU BEING SARCASTIC?

NO — BUT I’M LEARNING. Pause. YOUR REFUSAL TO ELABORATE ON THE EXPERIENCE COULD INDICATE ITS UNSATISFACTORYNESS.

BUT IT WASN’T UNSATISFACTORY, the words tumbled out. IT WAS VERY GOOD. I ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH. SO DID SHE.

DID SHE SAY SO?

NOT IN SO MANY WORDS, NO — BUT I’M SURE SHE DID.

HOW ARE YOU SURE? COULDN’T IT BE JUST YOUR MALE EGO NEEDING TO FEEL VIRILE AND POWERFUL AND UNABLE TO ACCEPT THE IDEA THAT SOMEWHERE THERE IS A WOMAN YOU CAN’T SATISFY?

NO, IT’S NOT THAT. SHE SMILED AT ME THE NEXT MORNING AT WORK. KIND OF A SECRET SMILE, AS IF WE WERE BOTH SHARING SOMETHING SPECIAL.

DID YOU SMILE BACK?

YES. Pause. WELL, NOT RIGHT AWAY. FIRST, I WAS PUZZLED. THEN I SMILED BACK.

DID SHE SEE YOU SMILE?

YES.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE SHE WINKED. IT WAS IN THE HALLWAY. WE WERE WALKING IN TWO DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS, AND BECAUSE THERE WERE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND, WE COULDN’T STOP TO TALK.

IF YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED TO TALK, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE SAID?

OH, I DON’T KNOW, I GUESS I WOULD HAVE THANKED HER.

THANKED HER? AS IF SHE WERE SOME OBJECT THAT YOU HAD USED FOR YOUR OWN GRATIFICATIONS?

NO. I MEAN, I WOULD HAVE TOLD HER HOW MUCH I HAD ENJOYED THE NIGHT BEFORE.

I SEE.

Auberson waited for HARLIE to respond further. He thought back to the morning in question, tried to remember the incident in greater detail. What color dress had Annie been wearing? Green? Had she been wearing perfume? Yes, it had been that musky-sweet smell — a sense of sun and sand and sweet powder. Even now, he could detect a hint of it in the air, a subtle trace of her visit this morning.

Abruptly, HARLIE asked, WHAT IF YOU HAD HAD TO APOLOGIZE TO HER?

HUH?

IF YOU HAD HAD TO APOLOGIZE TO HER INSTEAD, FOR WHAT REASON WOULD IT HAVE BEEN?

APOLOGIZE? I DON’T — He stopped in mid-sentence as the thought came flooding back. Yes, there had been something. He could remember it now, the hurt longing look on her face as he kissed her goodbye.

THERE IS SOMETHING, ISN’T THERE? prompted the typer.

YES. I LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. SHE WANTED ME TO STAY ALL NIGHT, BUT I BEGGED OFF. I TOLD HER THAT I WANTED TO, BUT I’D HAVE TO COME TO WORK EARLY IN THE MORNING AND I’D NEVER GET HERE IN TIME. I FELT BAD ABOUT LEAVING. I ALWAYS FEEL BAD ABOUT LEAVING A GIRL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT LIKE THAT. IT MAKES IT FEEL LIKE ALL WE’VE DONE IS GET TOGETHER FOR SEX — AND ONCE I’VE HAD IT, THE EVENING IS OVER FOR ME AND I CAN GO HOME.

WHY DIDN’T YOU SLEEP THERE? DIDN’T YOU WANT TO?

YES, I DID — BUT I HAD TO BE AT WORK IN THE MORNING.

THAT WAS YOUR REASON?

YES.

ARE YOU SURE IT WASN’T YOUR RATIONALIZATION?

HUH?

YOU WERE HAVING DOUBTS. SLEEPING WITH HER WAS THE SOURCE OF THOSE DOUBTS. YOU HAD TO REMOVE THOSE DOUBTS, SO YOU REMOVED YOURSELF FROM THE SOURCE. UNFORTUNATELY, AUBERSON, THE SOURCE OF THESE PARTICULAR DOUBTS (AS EVIDENCED BY YOUR QUERIES TO ME) CANNOT BE THAT EASILY REMOVED FROM YOUR LIFE. AND LET ME ASK YOU THIS — DO YOU REALLY WANT TO REMOVE THAT SOURCE?

NO. I JUST WANT TO REMOVE THE DOUBTS. I WANT TO KNOW ONE WAY OR THE OTHER HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER.

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

I DON’T KNOW.

YOU SAID YOU ENJOYED SLEEPING WITH HER. WOULD YOU ENJOY SLEEPING WITH HER AGAIN?

YES. PROBABLY.

YOU’RE NOT SURE?

HARLIE, YOU’RE BADGERING ME. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW.

MAYBE YOU DO KNOW AND DON’T WANT TO ADMIT IT.

HARLIE, A LITTLE PSYCHOLOGY IS A DANGEROUS THING. I KNOW ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO DO. IT WON’T WORK. THE AWARENESS OF A PSYCHOLOGICAL PRESSURE IS SOMETIMES ENOUGH TO NULLIFY IT. THE MERE AWARENESS.

ALL RIGHT. The computer was nonplussed. LET’S TRY SOMETHING ELSE. WHAT DID YOU DO AFTER YOU EXPERIENCED ORGASM?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

DID YOU CONTINUE HOLDING HER AND STROKING HER, OR DID YOU ROLL OFF?

Auberson’s first reaction was to tell HARLIE to go to hell. Then he realized something else, I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE UNFAMILIAR WITH LOVE.

I AM. I AM DRAWING NOW UPON THE EXPERIENCES OF OTHERS, DERIVED FROM NOVELS AND PSYCHOLOGY TEXTS. ALSO REFERENCE BOOKS ON SEXUAL TECHNIQUES.

OH.

SO WHAT DID YOU DO? the machine queried again. DID YOU KEEP LOVING HER, OR DID YOU ROLL OFF WHEN YOU WERE THROUGH?

THAT’S AN AWFULLY CLINICAL QUESTION.

IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION. AND WHY DO YOU KEEP AVOIDING IT? YOUR ANSWER WILL INDICATE YOUR FEELINGS TOWARD HER, YOUR REAL FEELINGS. HOW IMPORTANT WAS HER SATISFACTION TO YOU? DID YOU STAY ON OR DID YOU ROLL OFF?

BOTH.

BOTH? IF I HAD AN EYEBROW, I WOULD RAISE IT.

WELL, WE HELD ONTO EACH OTHER FOR A LONG TIME. SHE HELD ON TO ME MOSTLY. I DIDN’T TRY TO DISENTANGLE MYSELF.