I couldn't argue with him. He knew more about the difficulties of such a job than I did, and we both knew infinitely more than those people at London Central who were going to sign the report and get the credit. 'Do what you can,' I said. 'Take the money and do what you can.'
'It won't be much,' said Werner.
'The money won't be much either,' I said. 'So don't do anything silly.' Werner emptied his glass and gave me another one of his deadpan faces. He knew I was frightened.
14
I drove back to London listening to Ingrid Haebler playing Mozart piano concertos. I turned the car's tape player up very loud as I tried to disentangle the thoughts and theories whirling endlessly in my brain. Had I been less tired, and less concerned with the death of MacKenzie, I might have taken reasonable precautions when entering my home. As it was, what should have been adequate warning for any man – the mortise unlocked and the letterbox flap still partly open after some hand had gripped the door to push it – did not register upon my thoughts. I walked through the front door and found all the downstairs lights burning.
I walked through the hall. There was no one to be seen in the front room so I pushed the door of the kitchen and stepped back. There was a figure lost in the gloom of the tiny pantry beyond. I touched the butt of the pistol in my pocket.
'Who's there?'
'Bernard darling. I wasn't sure if you were home or not.'
'Tessa. How did you get in?'
'You gave me a door key, Bernard, Surely you remember.'
'Of course.'
'I'm putting frozen soup and fish fingers into the freezer, my love. Your children are coming home tomorrow. Or have you forgotten that?' She spoke over her shoulder. I could see her more clearly now in the dark shadows of the pantry. Her long fair hair was falling over her face as she stretched forward to reach into the freezer, the dark pantry ceiling made a firmament by the glittering diamond rings on her fingers. And around her there was the swirling 'smoke' of frozen air.
'No,' I said. But I had forgotten.
'I spoke on the phone with your nanny. She's a good girl but she'll need food for them. You wouldn't want her to go out shopping and leave the children at home. And she won't want to drag them round the shops.'
'It's very kind of you, Tessa.'
She put the last packet into place and then closed the lid of the freezer chest with a loud thump. 'So what about a drink?' she said. She slapped her hands to remove the crystals of dry ice. She was dressed in a loose-fitting button-through dress of natural cotton, and under it a shiny pink blouse that went so well with her fair hair.
I looked at my watch. It was nearly midnight. 'What would you like, Tessa?'
'Did I see a bottle of champagne in the fridge? Or is that being kept for a tête-à-tête with the gorgeous Gloria?'
'News travels fast,' I said, taking off my coat and getting glasses and the bottle of champagne. I put the contents of the ice tray into the champagne bucket and put the bottle into it with water.
'It's so stylish to have a proper ice bucket,' said Tessa. 'Did I tell you that George bought a solid-silver one and someone swiped it.'
'Stole it? Who?'
'We never found out, darling. It was a party we had for car people. Some bastard stole the champagne bucket. I wondered if they knew it was solid silver or if they just took it for a lark. Oh, yes, I heard all about the exotic creature you took over there to dinner. I had coffee with Daphne.'
'Daphne Cruyer? I thought you and Daphne… That is, I thought…'
'Spit it out, Bernard darling. You mean you thought Daphne and I should be at each other's throats since I had a little fling with Dandy Dicky?'
'Yes,' I gave all my attention to the champagne cork. After some difficulty it opened with a bang and I spilled some before pouring.
'Daphne's not like that, darling. Daphne is a lovely person. I wouldn't have done it if I'd thought that Daphne would be hurt.'
'Wasn't she hurt?'
'Of course not. Daphne thinks it's all a most wonderful hoot.'
'Why would Daphne think it's a hoot for you to have an affair with Dicky?'
'An affair. How romantic. It wasn't an affair, darling. No one could have an affair with Dicky; he's having an imperishable love affair with himself. What woman could compete with Dicky's first and only love?'
'So what was it?' I passed her the glass.
'It was a whim. A caprice. A sudden fancy. It was all over in a couple of weeks or so.'
'Fiona said it lasted nearly three months.'
'Not at all.'
'Fiona had a good memory for that sort of thing. I'm sure it was three months.'
'Well, three months. Don't go on about it. Three months, how long is that? I can't believe Daphne worried. She knew I wasn't going to run off with him. Could you imagine me running off with Dicky? And now Daphne has him right under her thumb.'
'Does she?'
'Of course she does, darling. He's feeling as guilty as hell, and so he should. He can't do enough for Daphne nowadays; he even buys her flowers. Umm, that's delicious champagne. I told you my doctor has put me on a special diet – lots of champagne but no other sort of alcohol and no sugar or fat.' She turned the bottle so that she could read the lable. 'Bollinger, and vintage too. My very favourite champagne. How extravagant you are becoming. Is this something to do with Gloria?'
'I wish you'd shut up about Gloria,' I said. 'That bottle of Bollinger is the last bottle from the case you gave us as a present last Christmas.'
'How silly I am,' said Tessa. 'How too too embarrassing.'
'It was very kind of you, Tessa. And thank you for bringing the food for the children.' I held up the glass as if in toast, and then drank to her.
'But that's not everything,' said Tessa, who had a childlike need for praise. 'I've had their room cleaned, and brought some new toys, and bedlinen patterned with huge dragons breathing fire. Pillows too. You should see them, Bernard. I wish they made them adult-bed size. Dragons; I would love them on my bed, wouldn't you, darling?'
'Talking of bed…'
'Am I keeping you up, Bernard? You look tired. I'm sorry to come over here so late but I can't let my bridge partner down. We were playing until past eleven. And he's the one with the frozen-food wholesale place where I get all this stuff. He put it in the back of his car. It was all packed with dry ice. You needn't worry.'
'I'm not worrying.'
'Can I have a splash more of that champagne?' She poured it without waiting for a reply. 'Oh, there's lots. More for you? Then I really must go home.'
'Thanks, Tessa. Yes.'
We both drank and then suddenly, as if seeing me for the first time, she said, 'Bernard. Where have you been, darling? You look absolutely ghastly.'
'I've been working. What do you mean?'
She stared at me. 'You look positively ill, darling. You've changed. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it. In just a couple of days you've aged ten years, Bernard. Are you ill?'
'Easy does it, Tessa.'
'Seriously, my love. You look frightful. You haven't had an accident in the car? You haven't run over someone or something like that?'
'Of course not.'
'George had a bad accident a couple of years ago and I remember he went quite grey-haired overnight. And he looked as you do; green, darling. You look green and quite old.'
I picked up the champagne and said, 'If we're going to finish this bottle we might as well sit down and talk in comfort.' I led the way into the front room, switched on the lights and we sat down. I said, 'I'm just a bit tired, that's all.'
'I know. All this business with Fiona; it must be absolutely rotten for you. And now, with Daddy making himself an absolute arsehole about the children, you must be having quite a time of it. And money must be a problem too. Daddy says you're selling this house. You're not, are you?' Tessa seemed tired too; at least she was not her usual high-spirited self. She let her hair swing across her face as if she wanted to hide behind it, like a child behind a curtain playing peekaboo.