– Man, I got a stake in this.

– Yeah, its your project, I know. And your stake is guaranteed. What isnt guaranteed is that Harris will deal straight. So if things go off, I want some backup. Follow me?

He cocked an eyebrow and nodded slowly.

– Yeah, backup, I follow. I like that. Buddy cop action. 48 Hours. That works, it sells. And thats it, thats all I got to do to get my pay?

I nodded.

– Yeah. Just stay out of sight, keep your eyes open, make sure no one backdoors me while Im inside. And be ready in case I call for help.

He gave the gun a spin on his index finger.

– So we do need the gun.

– We dont need the gun. Just be ready in case I need help.

– Be ready with the gun.

– Jaime!

– Chill, chill, Im just fuckin’ with you. Ill be cool and keep my eyes open and Ill be ready. And thats all, right?

– That and be yourself.

He leaned back and tucked his hands behind his head.

– Bein’ myself is what I do best. Star quality.

He pointed at the keys in my hand.

– So we rolling or what?

I pocketed the keys.

– Naw.

– What, we just gonna sit around here?

I got out and started down the street.

– Nope. Well walk.

And we did, walked back to the Harbor Inn where the bad guys were holed up waiting for the showdown.

– Wheres my girl?

– Wheres my can?

I looked at Harris, and I reminded myself about his really big gun and the way hed used my phone to kill someone. I took into careful account that more was at risk in this motel room than just my miserable existence, and I formulated a response that was calculated to bring calm to a fraught situation.

– Could you shut the fuck up for a second and tell me where my girl is?

I raised a finger.

– Not that I really think shes my girl, I know that was an asinine thing to say, just that Im a little hyped up right now and some weird things are liable to come out of my mouth.

Harris came across the room and kicked me in the shin and I bent to grab it and he rapped me on the back of my head with the butt of that really big gun I was supposed to be remembering he had.

I curled on the carpet, one hand on the lump growing from my shin, one on the lump growing from the back of my head, white light pulsing at the edges of my vision with every beat of my heart.

Harris looked down at me.

– Had a conversation, didnt we, about you and that mouth and bein’ in the same room?

I nodded and felt my brain flop around inside my skull.

He nodded back.

– Dont keep that conversation in mind, weird things are liable to come out of my gun.

His driver, appropriately dressed in Wrangler jeans, a sleeveless Raiders T, and a meshback truckers cap with Yosemite Sam on the front, barking Back Off., opened the door.

– It aint out there. Aint on the street, aint up on Anaheim. No truck, no can. Just this pecker.

He shoved Jaime into the room.

Jamie stumbled in, tripped over my legs and went on his ass.

– Fuck off me, hick.

The driver flipped him off.

– Fuck you, pecker.

I got up on one elbow and looked at Jaime.

– I told you to stay out of sight.

He untangled his legs from mine.

– I was staying out of sight! I was way down at the corner staying out of sight. No one told me Mr. Big Ten Four over there was gonna come poking around.

Mr. Big Ten Four hitched up the waist of his jeans.

– Pecker was lurking, Harris.

I rubbed my head.

– He wasnt lurking, he was just keeping an eye out in case you guys tried to pull something.

Mr. Big Ten Four reached in his back pocket and came up with Jaimes pistol.

– Was too lurking, man. With this on ‘im.

Harris scratched the thin stubble on the crown of his head, lightly put the toe of his boot in my side.

– Looks like were not the ones trying to pull nothin. Looks like were the ones showed up with what were supposed to have. That bein’ the girl.

He pointed at me and Jaime.

– As opposed to some jackasses who didnt show up with what they were supposed to have. That bein’ a load of almonds.

Mr. Big Ten Four waggled Jaimes gun.

– And theyre lurking.

Harris nodded.

– Looks like you aint got your shit together at all here. Looks like youre trying desperate measures with some kind of ambush.

I pointed at Jaime.

– He wasnt lurking. He wasnt setting up an ambush. He was staying out of the fucking way. I told him to wait out there so he wouldnt screw things up.

Jamie punched me in the shoulder.

– Fuck you say.

Harris shrugged.

– Just had your boy out there hangin’ about with a piece on him?

I pushed off the floor, trying not to put too much weight on the leg hed kicked.

– Listen, man, you were saddled with this piece of deadweight as an associate, would you want him anywhere near the room where business was being attended to?

Jaime got himself up.

– Fuck you talking about, deadweight? This is my project!

I looked at him, looked back at Harris.

– You know I had to explain to him how you guys were nicking him on the ten percent thing? Seriously. I had to tell him it was happening, and then I had to do the math for him.

– Fuck you, asshole, thats bullshit. Hes lying.

Harris rubbed his knuckles across the line of his jaw and covered the bit of a smile that crossed his mouth.

– Yeah. That started more as a joke. Bet my nephew that jackass wouldnt know he was bein’ taken. Mostly in the way of fun, you understand. Didnt really expect him not to know his numbers.

Jaime raised his arms over his head.

– I knew that! I knew it was a bet! I was, man, I was playing you guys! Man, like, thinking, These fools think they got it over me, but Im funniri them like they dont even know. I pulled a double twist in you. Total Usual Suspects.

I shoved my hands deep in my pockets and shook my head.

– This is what Im talking about. Who wants this around when youre trying to get things done? I figured having him outside and otherwise occupied was the way to go.

Harris nodded.

– Yeah, I can see that.

Jamie slapped the air.

– Hell with you! Hell with you!

Then Mr. Big Ten Four butted in.

– Harris.

– Yeah?

– Whys the pecker need a gun hes just supposed to be out of the way? How ‘bout that, Mr. Smartypants?

I let the Mr. Smartypants comment slide. A major achievement for me.

– Its not loaded.

Everyone looked at the gun.

I shrugged.

– Check it, man. Its not loaded.

Mr. Big Ten Four popped the clip loose, like a man used to doing such things, and showed us all the absence of ammunition.

Everyone looked at me.

– Hey, who wants a mental defective like this to have a loaded weapon? I just let him hold it ‘cause I know it would shut him up.

It wasnt that hard for Harris and Mr. Big Ten Four to get Jaime off me, and they didnt hurt him doing it, but I wouldnt have felt all that bad if they had.

– Asshole! You are such an asshole!

Harris shoved him down into the space between the wall and the bed.

– Just sit your ass there and shut the hell up, jackass. Fact is, youre lucky to have this guy lookin’ out that you dont bite off more than you can chew. But you keep openin’ your mouth to take a bite and Im gonna smash all your teeth out. You hear me?

Jaime gave me a stare.

– Yeah, I hear you.

– Good.

Harris turned to me.

– So. Just remains a large detail to be settled.

He came over, close by.

– Like wheres my can?

I shook my head.

– I dont have it.

Mr. Big Ten Four took off his hat and slapped his thigh.