When she takes it off, she’s wearing my face.

30

The oceans sparkle with your tears.

The land aches for your return.

- Folk song, Book of Cantos

I did not travel through a portal and across a strange land only

to drown in a pond. I kick up and reach the water’s edge.

“Alex!” Rishi and Nova both shout, running for me.

I’m too busy coughing my throat raw to answer. I brush water out

of my eyes and wring my hair out.

“I’m fine,” I say. “I had a vision of my great-grandmother.”

When I look up, Rishi and Nova are staring at me. Nova’s eyes are

more green now, like sparkling jade crystals. His cheeks are bright

red. He holds a bloody animal in one hand and a knife in the other.

His lips move in a jumble of words that end up nonsensical, and then

he turns his face to the side.

“Alex,” Rishi says, her eyes wide with wonder. Whatever she’s

holding falls to the ground. She looks at me the way people usually

look at Lula.

I look down to realize I’m naked and a golden light covers my

skin. I hold up my hand and push a blinding light out so they have to

look away. I grab my clothes and run behind a tree, their laugher

tinkling in the wind.

“Not funny!” I shout at them.

I get dressed. My clothes cling to my wet skin. I could swear that

Lula’s apparition is nearby making fun of me. She’d say, “What’s the

big deal? That’s how we were made.” Why has it always been easier for

Lula to be freer than I am? It’s not like I’m covered in boils and

puss. It’s not like Rishi and I don’t have the same parts. It’s not

like Nova doesn’t know what a naked girl looks like.

I hit the back of my head against the tree trunk, and I can’t help

but smile at how nervous Nova was and the blush on Rishi’s face. I’m

not used to making people react to me that way because, for the most

part, I’m not used to being seen. My heart races and I think this has

to be a different kind of power.

I dust myself off and get ready to return to my friends when I

realize the bruises on my arms are all gone. Then, my heartbeat spikes

when I see a dark spot on my palm. Fear of Mama Juanita’s words takes

hold of me. My mouth goes dry and my fingers shake as I move to touch

the mark.

It comes away easily-just a smudge of dirt. It didn’t take long

for my witchy hypochondria to start now that I know what happens to

brujas who don’t have their Deathdays.

I find Nova and Rishi sitting around a small fire. Nova is

skinning a large, rabbit-looking creature and Rishi is sharpening

sticks. We sit in complete silence with only the brush of the weeping

willow making noise as it slaps the surface of the pond. Rishi hands

over one of the sharpened sticks to Nova and he skewers the animal

straight through. I’m trying to put together an image of Nova, but

it’s hard because there are missing pieces.

“Where’d you learn to skin?” I ask him.

His eyes, more blue now, flick to my forehead, then back to the

animal. He smiles. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“He worked in a butcher shop,” Rishi says. “He’s just trying to

make you guess the worst.”

“You have no chill, Rishi,” Nova tells her.

She blows him a kiss, and he rolls his eyes.

“So,” Nova says, “what was with all the glowing when you came out

of the pond? You looked like the painting of that Greek lady surfing

on a giant clam.”

Rishi slugs him in the arm and he just laughs. “Classy.”

“Oh come on,” Nova says. “I’m just trying to make things a little

less awkward. We could all go skinny-dipping and then we’d all be on

an even playing field.”

“Pass,” Rishi says.

“First of all,” I start, “that was probably one of my most

embarrassing moments, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make fun of

me.”

“Believe me,” Nova says softly, “there’s nothing to make fun of.”

Heat spreads from my solar plexus across my skin. I push the

feeling away and realize there is something I do want to know. “I have

a better idea than skinny-dipping.”

Nova’s eyes light up. “Yeah?”

“I want a secret.”

“ Psh. That hardly seems like a fair exchange.”

“You’re a Neanderthal,” Rishi mumbles.

“Mankind had to start somewhere,” he says. “At least I can make a

fire.”

“You used your magic,” Rishi counters.

Nova turns the rabbit. Juicy fat melts off and pops in the fire.

“Magic makes the world go ’round.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you never had your Deathday?” I blurt

out, growing tired of Nova and Rishi’s bickering.

Whatever he thought I was going to say, it wasn’t that. He avoids

my eyes and cleans my dagger on his pant leg. Rishi looks like she’s

about to speak, but I shake my head. I want to give Nova space. I know

that’s what I’d want. I’m torn between wanting to know more about him

and wanting him to tell me on his own. We sit and watch the fire burn

and wait for Nova to be ready. But what if he’s not?

“How’d you know?” he finally says as a nonanswer.

“My great-grandmother appeared to me.” I fill him in on the charm

of Mama Juanita and the shadow smoke that attacked her the way it did

Lula and my mom. “She told me that power burns our human bodies

without the family blessing.”

I look at Nova’s hands. The black marks have spread farther up his

biceps. One tendril flows from his stomach to his clavicle and then

his shoulder.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Rishi asks.

He shrugs like it’s no big deal.

“Nova, stop. You know I can’t let you keep using your powers.”

“No one lets me do anything.”

“Well, maybe if someone did, you wouldn’t get yourself in so much

trouble.”

He shuts his eyes and gives me his cheek. “You guys don’t know

squat about me.”

“Then tell us something. Your answer is to act like the world is

against you. Believe me, I know. I felt like that every single day. I

felt like my magic was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.

It broke my family. It breaks so many people.”

“Now you’ve changed your mind?” He’s being defensive.

“Something’s changed-me, the magic, this place. I can’t explain

it. There are moments when the magic feels right . There are other

moments when I’m afraid of what I could be capable of. There’s this

tiny voice that takes pleasure in doing bad things. I’m afraid I could

become like the Devourer.”

“Never,” he tells me. He reaches for my face, but then he catches

himself and instead rubs his hands over his face.

“You could never be like that,” Rishi says.

Nova looks up at the sky and mouths a silent rezo. “I never had my

Deathday because my parents died when I was a kid. Deadbeat dad, drunk

mom, delinquent brothers and sisters. The only ones who got away were

my eldest brother, Unico, who turned his back on us and became a cop.

Then my sister, Cinqua. She ran away the first minute she got a chance

and I haven’t seen her since. I should have gone to my grandmother,

but she already had too many kids in the house. Plus, she was still

mad at my pops. Isn’t that something? Only brujas can stay mad at

someone who’s dead. Besides, my old man would’ve been real

disappointed if he knew I’m just a human matchstick.”

“Don’t say that,” I tell him.

He smiles, but I can see the strain in his face. “Don’t worry

about me, Ladybird. The first time my magic appeared, I hurt someone.

I didn’t mean to. Let’s just say my foster parents weren’t exactly out

of a fairy tale. My foster father deserved it. After that, I just kept