"For the purpose of panting after her in her parlor, I take it?" his mother inquired sweetly.
"No!" said Miles, stung. "To consult about the garden I'd hired her to make in the lot next door."
"Is that what that crater is," said his father. "In the dark, from the groundcar, it looked as though someone tried to shell Vorkosigan House and missed, and I'd wondered why no one had reported it to us."
"It is not a crater . It's a sunken garden. There's just . . . just no plants in it yet."
"It has a very nice shape, Miles," his mother said soothingly. "I went out and walked through it this afternoon. The little stream is very pretty indeed. It reminds me of the mountains."
"That was the idea," said Miles, primly ignoring his father's mutter of. . . after a Cetagandan bombing raid on a guerilla position . . .
Then Miles sat bolt upright in sudden horror. Not quite no plants. "Oh, God! I never went out to look at her skellytum! Lord Dono came in with Ivan—did Aunt Alys explain to you about Lord Dono?—and I was distracted, and then it was time for dinner, and I never had the chance afterwards. Has anyone watered—? Oh, shit, no wonder she was angry. I'm dead meat twice over—!" He melted back into his puddle of despair.
"So, let me get this straight," said the Countess slowly, studying him dispassionately. "You took this destitute widow, struggling to get on her own feet for the first time in her life, and dangled a golden career opportunity before her as bait, just to tie her to you and cut her off from other romantic possibilities."
That seemed an uncharitably bald way of putting it. "Not . . . not just ," Miles choked. "I was trying to do her a good turn. I never imagined she'd quit—the garden was everything to her."
The Countess sat back, and regarded him with a horribly thoughtful expression, the one she acquired when you'd made the mistake of getting her full, undivided attention. "Miles . . . do you remember that unfortunate incident with Armsman Esterhazy and the game of cross-ball, when you were about twelve years old?"
He hadn't thought of it in years, but at her words, the memory came flooding back, still tinged with shame and fury. The Armsmen used to play cross-ball with him, and sometimes Elena and Ivan, in the back garden of Vorkosigan House: a low-impact game, of minimum threat to his then-fragile bones, but requiring quick reflexes and good timing. He'd been elated the first time he'd won a match against an actual adult, in this case Armsman Esterhazy. He'd been shaken with rage, when a not-meant-to-be-overheard remark had revealed to him that the game had been a setup. Forgotten. But not forgiven.
"Poor Esterhazy had thought it would cheer you up, because you were depressed at the time about some, I forget which, slight you'd suffered at school," the Countess said. "I still remember how furious you were when you figured out he'd let you win. Did you ever carry on about that one. We thought you'd do yourself a harm."
"He stole my victory from me," grated Miles, "as surely as if he'd cheated to win. And he poisoned every subsequent real victory with doubt. I had a right to be mad."
His mother sat quietly, expectantly.
The light dawned. Even with his eyes squeezed shut, the intensity of the glare hurt his head.
"Oh. Noooo," groaned Miles, muffled into the cushion he jammed over his face. "I did that to her ?"
His remorseless parent let him stew in it, a silence sharper-edged than words.
"I did that to her . . ." he moaned, pitifully.
Pity did not seem to be forthcoming. He clutched the cushion to his chest. "Oh. God. That's exactly what I did. She said it herself. She said the garden could have been her gift. And I'd taken it away from her. Too. Which made no sense, since it was she who'd just quit . . . I thought she was starting to argue with me. I was so pleased, because I thought, if only she would argue with me . . ."
"You could win?" the Count supplied dryly.
"Uh . . . yeah."
"Oh, son." The Count shook his head. "Oh, poor son." Miles did not mistake this for an expression of sympathy. "The only way you win that war is to start with unconditional surrender."
"That you is plural, note," the Countess put in.
"I tried to surrender!" Miles protested frantically. "The woman was taking no prisoners! I tried to get her to stomp me, but she wouldn't. She's too dignified, too, oversocialized, too, too . . ."
"Too smart to lower herself to your level?" the Countess suggested. "Dear me. I think I'm beginning to like this Ekaterin. And I haven't even finished being properly introduced to her yet. I'd like you to meet—she's getting away! seemed a little . . . truncated."
Miles glared at her. But he couldn't keep it up. In a smaller voice, he said, "She sent all the garden plans back to me this afternoon, on the comconsole. Just like she'd said she would. I'd set it to code-buzz me if any call originating from her came in. I damn near killed myself, getting over to the machine. But it was just a data packet. Not even a personal note. Die, you rat would have been better than this . . . this nothing ." After a fraught pause, he burst out, "What do I do now ?"
"Is that a rhetorical question, for dramatic effect, or are you actually asking my advice?" his mother inquired tartly. "Because I'm not going to waste my breath on you unless you're finally paying attention."
He opened his mouth for an angry reply, then closed it. He glanced for support to his father. His father opened his hand blandly in the direction of his mother. Miles wondered what it would be like, to be in such practiced teamwork with someone that it was as though you coordinated your one-two punches telepathically. I'll never get the chance to find out. Unless.
"I'm paying attention," he said humbly.
"The . . . the kindest word I can come up with for it is blunder —was yours. You owe the apology. Make it."
"How? She's made it abundantly clear she doesn't want to speak to me!"
"Not in person, good God, Miles. For one thing, I can't imagine you could resist the urge to babble, and blow yourself up. Again."
What is it about all my relatives, that they have so little faith in—
"Even a live comconsole call is too invasive," she continued. "Going over to the Vorthys's in person would be much too invasive."
"The way he's been going about it, certainly," murmured the Count. "General Romeo Vorkosigan, the one-man strike force."
The Countess gave him a faintly quelling flick of her eyelash. "Something rather more controlled, I think," she continued to Miles. "About all you can do is write her a note, I suppose. A short, succinct note. I realize you don't do abject very well, but I suggest you exert yourself."
"D'you think it would work?" Faint hope glimmered at the bottom of a deep, deep well.
"Working is not what this is about. You can't still be plotting to make love and war on the poor woman. You'll send an apology because you owe it, to her and to your own honor. Period. Or else don't bother."
"Oh," said Miles, in a very small voice.
"Cross-ball," said his father. Reminiscently. "Huh."
"The knife is in the target," sighed Miles. "To the hilt. You don't have to twist." He glanced across at his mother. "Should the note be handwritten? Or should I just send it on the comconsole?"
"I think your just just answered your own question. If your execrable handwriting has improved, it would perhaps be a nice touch."
"Proves it wasn't dictated to your secretary, for one thing," put in the Count. "Or worse, composed by him at your order."