‘I

know

what you mean.’ Smiling, she lightly caressed his cheek. ‘We’re protected, thanks to you. Our saviour and our champion.’

He kissed her palm. ‘I think you’re giving me too much credit.’

‘No. You’re a virtuous man, Kinsel. You could have walked by. Instead you gave hope to me, and to those poor children. You don’t know what that means to me. The only men I’ve known before were…’

‘Yes.’ He nodded his understanding, saving her the torment of recounting bad memories. ‘But that’s over now. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, not anymore.’

‘I find it a wonder that my life from before doesn’t seem to worry you. You really don’t think the less of me for it?’

‘Of course not, Tan. You had no choice. I look at it as being like the countries the empires occupy.’

That puzzled her. ‘How?’

‘Because the conquerors can take land and chattels, but they can never possess people who long to be free.’

‘In the bordellos of Jecellam, the other women used to say that the clients can have your body but not your mind, your soul. Not the real you.’

‘That’s my point; and that’s how it is with the Resistance, too. The most important thing we have is the

idea

. Our enemies can’t own that, or destroy it. It’s our greatest weapon, whether we have Founder magic, warlord allies or anything else.’

Grinning, she said, ‘You look terribly serious.’

‘Do I?’ He was a little abashed. ‘Well, I

am

. I’ve always believed in the Resistance ideal. It’s a passion with me.’ His expression grew earnest for a moment. ‘One I hope you’ll come to share.’

‘I think I’m beginning to. But what chance is there of Karr realising his plan? Can there really be somewhere for us that’s truly free?’

‘I just told you, there already is.’ He tapped his forehead. ‘Up here.’

‘You know what I’m saying.’ Her tone was mock stern, a smile breaking through.

Kinsel returned it. ‘Yes, I think the plan can happen. We have to

make

it happen, though it’s going to be hideously difficult and cost dear in lives. What choice do we have?’

‘You had a choice. You could have stayed in your privileged world and never risked yourself.’

‘I didn’t start out there, Tan; I was born low. My gift raised me. But not before I’d learnt how things are. In fact, my earliest memory was seeing…’ He stopped himself. ‘Well, they say the first bite’s taken with the eye, don’t they?’

‘Must we have secrets?’ she asked.

‘No, there should never be any between us. These are wounds, not secrets, and I’m not ready to pick at them just yet.’

She squeezed his hand. ‘I’ll be here when you are.’

He nodded his gratitude, then took up the thread. ‘Even if I had been born with a silver teething ring in my mouth, I like to think I’d still have chosen the same side. But who can say? Perhaps being raised in affluence would have smothered my conscience. As it was I wavered for years before throwing my lot in with the Resistance.’

A watch of nightingales casually flapped past. They were luminous and of assorted colours, and gave off discordant, unbirdlike noises.

‘Are you going to do as Karr said and give up your public life?’ Tanalvah asked.

After a pause, he answered, ‘In time.’

‘I’m afraid for you. Accept the protection of the Resistance and go underground,

please.

’

‘I can’t. Not yet.’

‘You could easily have been exposed when you stopped to help us, and it would have been my fault. And the fact that you suddenly seem to have acquired a family must surely arouse people’s interest. You’re in such a dangerous position.’

‘It

wouldn’t

have been your fault,’ he insisted stubbornly, ‘and we didn’t get caught.’

‘That’s not the point. You’re running a tremendous risk. Give it up, Kinsel. For the sake of me and the children, if nothing else. There are other ways you can serve the cause.’

‘That’s just it; there aren’t. The most valuable contribution I can make is the one I’m making.’

‘Surely there must be something you could -’

‘No, hear me. There are few people sympathetic to the Resistance who have access to the higher echelons of government. I’m lucky enough to be one of them, and the intelligence I gather can be vitally important. That’s particularly true as we get nearer to achieving Karr’s plan. I can’t pull away now.’

‘The patrician would find another role for you,’ Tanalvah persisted, ‘I’m certain of it.’

‘My pacifism greatly limits what I could do.’

‘There are many in the Resistance who share your opinion.’

‘Doing clerks’ jobs, essentially. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it isn’t as important as what I’m doing now. I’m an asset; why turn me into a quill-pusher?’

‘You’re not going to change your mind on this, are you?’

‘For now, my love, no. But you shouldn’t be anxious about me. I’m always careful and I know the hazards.’

She looked far from convinced. ‘Something else concerns me,’ she said.

‘You really are a worrier, aren’t you?’ he gently teased.

‘I’ve just found you; I don’t want to lose you again.’

He planted a light kiss on the side of her face. ‘What is it?’

‘Your pacifism.’

‘You don’t approve?’

‘No, no, it’s not that. Far from it. It’s just…’ The words tumbled out. ‘You know I killed someone. I didn’t mean to, it was an accident, or at least unintentional. But how can you respect me when I’m a murderer? Being a whore was bad enough, but -’

‘Don’t e ver call yourself that. Nor are you a murderer. And believe this, Tan: I can’t think ill of you, whatever you might have done. You took a life, and that pains me, but I see it as righteous self-defence. If you hadn’t…’

‘I know. The thing is, I have a code, too. I follow Iparrater, who values the sanctity of human life above all else. I’ve violated that precept, which must mean I’ve cast myself out from her protection.’

‘Not if the goddess’s reputation for compassion means anything. She’ll understand that you acted through necessity, and that your motives were pure.’ He sighed reflectively. ‘People think trying to live non-violently is an easy option. But my actions have put lives at risk, and no doubt caused the loss of some. All any of us can do is what we believe to be right, for a greater good. You’ve no more reason to blame yourself than I have.’

‘That gives me comfort. Though I wonder if your opinion’s clouded by your feelings for me.’

‘Possibly. But I think not. I’ve found life to be a series of moral compromises. That’s as true for you as anyone else. There should be no burden of guilt for you to carry.’

‘Would you say the same of Serrah Ardacris?’

‘Serrah? Yes, I believe I would. Why do you ask?’

‘From what I know of her she made a profession of murder.’

‘That’s too harsh. I’m sure she thought she was doing the right thing, too. I can’t approve of what she did before coming to Bhealfa, but I’m grateful to her for helping us.’

‘So am I, don’t get me wrong. It’s just… she seems so troubled. As though she shoulders some awful weight.’

‘Do you know anything about her background?’

‘Only that she was an assassin.’

‘She commanded a special forces unit. Her superiors saddled her with a member of one of Gath Tampoor’s more powerful families; little more than a boy, who fancied himself a warrior. When he was killed they made a scapegoat of her.’

‘She must have been bitter about that.’

‘There’s more to her misery. Karr told me a little of the intelligence he had about her. Apparently she lost her daughter a few years ago. Due to ramp.’

‘That explains why she appears so tormented. She’s forfeited everything. How sad.’

‘One thing you’ll learn about the Resistance is that it attracts strange bedfellows. Unhappy and even bizarre stories aren’t uncommon.’