He told the chalices, “Find a tarp or a shower curtain.” Bob dragged his shoe through the flaked vampire blood on the carpet. “And a vacuum cleaner.”

The female chalice returned with a shower curtain, a plastic one of yellow and blue stripes. The male chalice found a Hoover upright in the closet.

We pulled Ziggy’s corpse to the middle of the curtain, which we then dragged against the wall. Bob had the female chalice strip the body. He ordered the male chalice to vacuum the dried blood and clean the wall.

“We’ll spackle and paint the holes later.”

Carmen took Ziggy’s Tag Heuer watch and wallet. Wendy bundled the clothes and shoved them into a plastic garbage bag.

Using the shower curtain, we dragged the corpse to the middle of the room and arranged the body so the feet pointed toward the bay window. Bob set the head upright by the neck.

As a final touch, Wendy bent over and adjusted the scrotum and penis. “Wouldn’t want Ziggy to be uncomfortable.”

Carmen and Sky-Pony shared a pack of cigarettes and lit up. She tapped her toe and exhaled a jet of smoke. “So we have to wait here till morning?”

“Patience. When morning comes, we’ll divide the spoils.” Bob tipped his head toward the chalices. “You’ll enjoy it.”

Bob and Andre rummaged in the kitchen, collecting food for an impromptu wake. Bob cooked steaks, hash browns, and corn on the cob. Like every modern vampire, Ziggy kept jars of animal blood in his refrigerator. Sky-Pony and Carmen went to the bar on the opposite side of the den. One of them found the stereo and played jazz. Carmen made drinks. Andre took a paring knife and sliced the arm of the female chalice and ordered her go to every one of us and offer blood as if she were dispensing gravy. I declined the offer.

We lounged in the den, ate dinner, and sipped drinks. Andre chuckled as he recited vampire anecdotes in his bad English, much of which Bob had to translate.

Wendy and I shared Manhattans. With the rye whiskey seeping into our bloodstreams, she and I set our plates aside on the coffee table. She kicked off her shoes and, before I could protest, climbed into my lap and rested her head on my shoulder. Wendy’s body settled against mine. She didn’t weigh much, a hundred pounds maybe. Her green aura softened and pulsated in tempo to the low purr coming from her throat.

Where our auras overlapped, my orange and her green took on an iridescent shine, something I’d never witnessed. Then again, I’d never had a dryad sit on my lap.

Wendy didn’t ask to impose on me. She simply assumed that I wanted her close. Which I did. Problem was, I didn’t want to admit my desire to her…or myself.

Wendy wove her fingers into mine and snuggled against my neck. My aura grew brighter and other things stirred. Sky-Pony tapped Carmen on the knee and then pointed to me.

Was I the first vampire ever to feel embarrassment? We were fearsome killers, rapacious as wolves, and yet at this moment, I, Felix the vampire, felt as awkward as a schoolboy at a dance.

Wendy whispered into my ear. “I can slide off you. Just say the word.”

I didn’t.

After a moment, she brushed her lips against my cheek. “I knew you wouldn’t.”

Bob turned on the TV by the bar and switched to the Weather Channel. Sunrise was to be 6:27.

The other vampires searched Ziggy’s room and brought out a tray of Dermablend and sunblock, which we gooped on. At 6:00 A.M. we put on our sunglasses.

Carmen opened the blinds on the bay window. We vampires tucked ourselves into the shadows of the den. The dawn sky lightened, turning from black to purple, and now to blue. The rays of the sun peeked over the roof of the house on the other side of the yard. The sunbeam splashed against the wall. Minute by minute, the beam widened and scrolled down toward Ziggy.

When the sunbeam touched Ziggy’s head, his skin wrinkled and smoldered. The stench of burning, rancid meat smacked us like a wave. The sun’s rays lapped down Ziggy’s body like a ravenous tongue of fire. His flesh turned black. Smoke curled against the ceiling.

The smoke detector went off. Centuries of death held at bay reclaimed Ziggy’s corpse. His charred body collapsed into a pile of ash. Carmen closed the blinds. We took off our sunglasses. Sky-Pony crawled up the wall and yanked out the smoke detector’s battery to silence the wail. The chalices started to cry again.

“How do we explain Ziggy’s disappearance?” I asked.

Bob replied, “The Araneum will arrange it that he died of ‘natural causes’ while vacationing in Panama. We’ll appoint someone to take care of his estate. Now to clean this mess.”

We lifted the shower curtain by the corners and carefully poured the ash into a garbage bag.

“What would happen if we added water?” Carmen joked. “Would we get instant vampire?”

“Yuck,” Sky-Pony said. “I don’t even like instant coffee.”

A garbage bag filled with ash and another bag stuffed with his clothes, this was all that was left of Ziggy.

“You vampires aren’t very sentimental,” Wendy said.

“I doubt Hallmark makes a card for this,” Bob replied.

Carmen stepped behind the female chalice. “Now that we’ve finished our janitorial duties, time for the vampire initiation. As reward for your loyalty, welcome to the ranks of the damned.”

Carmen’s eyes glowed in bloodlust. She grasped the female chalice’s shirt collar with both hands and yanked. The chalice staggered to remain on her feet. Carmen wrestled with the chalice until the shirt and bra tore free. The chalice stood before us, bare-breasted. Sweat trickled down her pale face. Her eyes stared out into nothingness.

Sky-Pony grabbed the male chalice by the hair, ripped off his shirt, and forced him to kneel beside the female.

“We’ve lost one vampire and gained two.” Sky-Pony slapped the male chalice. “This is what each of you wants? Immortality as one of us?”

Both chalices whispered a frightened duet. “Yes.” Their auras turned an incandescent red like heated metal.

All the vampires bared their fangs and circled the chalices. The vampires stripped naked and tossed their clothes behind them. Their orange auras merged and lit the darkened room with the fearsome intensity of a bonfire burning out of control. They would attack without hypnosis so that the screams of the chalices would fuel their undead ardor.

Carmen and Bob each took an arm of the female chalice and sank their fangs into opposite sides of her neck. The chalice squirmed-now a pale form of jiggly flesh-and shrieked in agony, for they bit without secreting anesthetic enzymes. Blood streamed down between her breasts.

Sky-Pony and Andre wrestled the male chalice to ground. Giving in to panic, he fought them. They fended off his blows and laughed as they relished this opportunity to prolong the kill. Their bare feet tracked blood across the carpet. So much for our tidiness.

So long as I never drank human blood, I would be immune to this descent into the lurid recesses of our feral nature. I’ve spilled enough human blood as a soldier.

Wendy looked me over. “Why are you still dressed?”

“I have my reasons.”

Bob’s loud snarl surged above the screams of the tormented chalices. He called me. “Felix, join us.” Blood smeared the stubble of his beard and dotted the hairs on his chest.

“You know I can’t, Bob,” I said. “And after tonight? What do we do about the vampire hunters?”

Bob’s blazing eyes narrowed. “The vânätori de vampir will get what’s coming to them.”