“Kate, that sounds awful.”

Kate looks wistful.

“Yeah, took almost a year to have my first orgasm through penetrative sex and here

you are… first time?”

I nod shyly. My inner goddess sits in the lotus position looking serene except for the

sly, self-congratulatory smile on her face.

“I’m glad you lost it to someone who knows their ass from their elbow.” She winks at

me. “So when are you seeing him again?”

“Wednesday. We’re having dinner.”

“So you still like him?”

“Yes. But I don’t know about… the future.”

“Why?”

“He’s complicated, Kate. You know – he inhabits a very different world to mine.”

Great excuse. Believable too. Much better than – he’s got a Red Room of Pain, and he

wants to make me his sex slave.

“Oh please, don’t let this be about money, Ana. Elliot said it’s very unusual for Chris-

tian to date anyone.”

“Did he?” My voice hitches up several octaves.

Too obvious, Steele!My subconscious glares at me, wagging her long skinny finger,

then morphs into the scales of justice to remind me he could sue if I disclose too much.

Ha… what’s he going to do – take all my money?I must remember to Google ‘penalties

for breaching a non-disclosure agreement’while I’m doing the rest of my ‘research’. It’s

like I’ve been given a school assignment. Maybe I’ll be graded. I flush, remembering my

A for this morning’s bath experiment.

“Ana, what is it?”

“I’m just remembering something Christian said.”

“You look different,” Kate says fondly.

“I feel different. Sore,” I confess.

“Sore?”

“A little.” I flush.

“Me too. Men,” she says in mock disgust. “They’re animals.” We both laugh.

“You’re sore?” I exclaim.

“Yes… overuse.”

I giggle.

“Tell me about Elliot the over-user,” I ask when I’ve stopped giggling. Oh, I can feel

myself relaxing for the first time since I was in line at the bar… before the phone call that

started all this – when I was admiring Mr. Grey from afar. Happy uncomplicated days.

Kate blushes. Oh my… Katherine Agnes Kavanagh goes all Anastasia Rose Steele on

me. She gives me a dewy-eyed look. I’ve never seen her react this way to a man before.

My jaw drops to the floor. Where’s Kate, what have you done with her?

“Oh, Ana,” she gushes. “He’s just so… Everything. And when we… oh… really

good.” She can hardly string a sentence together she’s got it so bad.

“I think you’re trying to tell me that you like him.”

She nods, grinning like a lunatic.

“And I’m seeing him on Saturday. He’s going to help us move.” She clasps her hands

together, leaps up off the couch, and pirouettes to the window. Moving. Crap – I’d forgot-

ten all about that, even with the packing cases surrounding us.

“That’s helpful of him,” I say appreciatively. I can get to know him too. Perhaps he

can give me more insight into his strange, disturbing brother.

“So what did you do last night?” I ask. She cocks her head at me and raises her eye-

brows in a what-do-think-stupid-look.

“Pretty much what you did, though we had dinner first.” She grins at me. “Are you

okay really? You look kind of overwhelmed.”

“I feel overwhelmed. Christian is very intense.”

“Yeah, I could see how he could be. But he was good to you?”

“Yes,” I reassure her. “I’m really hungry, shall I cook?”

She nods and picks up two more books to pack.

“What do you want to do with the fourteen thousand dollar books?” she asks.

“I’m going to return them to him.”

“Really?”

“It’s a completely over-the-top gift. I can’t accept it, especially now.” I grin at Kate,

and she nods.

“I understand. A couple of letters came for you, and José has been calling every hour

on the hour. He sounded desperate.”

“I’ll call him,” I mutter evasively. If I tell Kate about José, she’ll have him for break-

fast. I collect the letters from the dining table and open them.

“Hey, I have interviews! The week after next, in Seattle, for intern placements!”

“For which publishing house?”

“For both of them!”

“I told you your GPA would open doors, Ana.”

Kate, of course, already has an internship set up at the Seattle Times. Her father knows

someone, who knows someone.

“How does Elliot feel about you going away?” I ask.

Kate wanders into the kitchen, and for the first time this evening, she’s disconsolate.

“He’s understanding. Part of me doesn’t want to go, but it’s tempting to lie in the sun

for a couple of weeks. Besides, Mom is hanging in there, thinking this will be our last real

family holiday before Ethan and I head off into the world of paid employment.”

I have never left continental US. Kate is off to Barbados with her parents and her

brother Ethan for two whole weeks. I’ll be Kateless in our new apartment. That will be

weird. Ethan has been traveling the world since he graduated last year. I wonder briefly if

I’ll see him before they go on vacation. He’s such a lovely guy. The phone rings, jolting

me from my reverie.

“That’ll be José.”

I sigh. I know I have to talk to him. I grab the phone.

“Hi.”

“Ana, you’re back!” José shouts his relief at me.

“Obviously.” Sarcasm drips from my voice, and I roll my eyes at the phone.

He’s silent for a moment.

“Can I see you? I’m sorry about Friday night. I was drunk… and you… well. Ana –

please forgive me.”

“Of course, I forgive you José. Just don’t do it again. You know I don’t feel like that

about you.”

He sighs heavily, sadly.

“I know, Ana. I just thought, if I kissed you, it might change how you feel.”

“José, I love you dearly, you mean so much to me. You’re like the brother I never had.

That’s not going to change. You know that.” I hate to let him down, but it’s the truth.

“So you’re with him now?” His tone is full of disdain.

“José, I’m not with anybody.”

“But you spent the night with him.”

“That’s none of your business!”

“Is it the money?”

“José! How dare you!” I shout, staggered by his audacity.

“Ana,” he whines and apologizes simultaneously. I cannot deal with his petty jealousy

now. I know he’s hurt, but my plate is overflowing dealing with Christian Grey.

“Maybe we can have a coffee or something tomorrow. I’ll call you.” I am conciliatory.

He is my friend, and I’m very fond of him. But right now, I don’t need this.

“Tomorrow then. You’ll call?” The hope in his voice twists my heart.

“Yes… goodnight, José.” I hang up, not waiting for his response.

“What was that all about?” Katherine demands, her hands on her hips. I decide hon-

esty is the policy. She’s looking more intractable than ever.

“He made a pass at me on Friday.”

“José? AndChristian Grey? Ana, your pheromones must be working overtime. What

was the stupid fool thinking?” She shakes her head in disgust and returns to packing crates.

Forty-five minutes later, we pause our packing for the house specialty, my lasagna.

Kate opens a bottle of wine, and we sit amongst the boxes eating, quaffing cheap red wine,

and watching crap TV. This is normality. It’s so grounding and welcome after the last

forty-eight hours of… madness. I eat my first unhurried, no nagging, peaceful meal in that

time. What is it about him and food?Kate clears the dishes, and I finish packing up the

living room. We are left with the couch, the TV, and the dining table. What more could

we need? Just the kitchen and our bedrooms left to pack up, and we have the rest of the

week. Result!

The phone rings again. It’s Elliot. Kate winks at me and skips off to her bedroom like