me. He doesn’t stop. I’m spent. I can’t take this… and he pounds on and on and on... then

I’m building again… surely not… no…

“Come on, Anastasia, again,” he growls through clenched teeth, and unbelievably, my

body responds, convulsing around him as I climax anew, calling out his name. I shatter

again into tiny fragments, and Christian stills, finally letting go, silently finding his release.

He collapses on top of me, breathing hard.

“How nicewas that?” he asks through his gritted teeth.

Oh my.

I lie panting and spent on the bed, eyes closed as he slowly pulls out of me. He rises

immediately and dresses. When he’s fully clothed, he climbs back on the bed and gently

undoes his tie and pulls my t-shirt off. I flex my fingers and rub my wrists, smiling at the

woven pattern imprinted on my wrists from the tie. I re-adjust my bra as he pulls the duvet

and quilt over me. I stare up at him completely dazed, and he smirks down at me.

“That was really nice,” I whisper, smiling coyly.

“There’s that word again.”

“You don’t like that word?”

“No. It doesn’t do it for me at all.”

“Oh – I don’t know… it seems to have a very beneficial effect on you.”

“I’m a beneficial effect, now am I? Could you wound my ego any further, Miss Steele?”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your ego.” But even as I say it, I don’t feel

the conviction of my words - something elusive crosses my mind, a fleeting thought, but

it’s lost before I can grasp it.

“You think?” His voice is soft. He’s lying beside me, fully clothed, his head propped

up on his elbow, and I am only wearing my bra.

“Why don’t you like to be touched?”

“I just don’t.” He reaches over and plants a soft kiss on my forehead. “So, that email

was your idea of a joke.”

I smile apologetically at him and shrug.

“I see. So you are still considering my proposition?”

“Your indecent proposal… yes I am. I have issues though.”

He grins down at me as if relieved.

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

“I was going to email them to you, but you kind of interrupted me.”

“Coitus Interruptus.”

“See, I knew you had a sense of humor somewhere in there.” I smile.

“Only certain things are funny, Anastasia. I thought you were saying no, no discussion

at all.” His voice drops.

“I don’t know yet. I haven’t made up my mind. Will you collar me?”

He raises his eyebrows.

“You have been doing your research. I don’t know, Anastasia. I’ve never collared

anyone.”

Oh… should I be surprised by this? I know so little about the scene… I don’t know.

“Were you collared?” I whisper.

“Yes.”

“By Mrs. Robinson?”

“Mrs. Robinson!” he laughs loudly, freely, and he looks so young and carefree, his

head thrown back, his laughter infectious.

I grin back at him.

“I’ll tell her you said that, she’ll love it.”

“You still talk to her regularly?” I can’t keep the shock out of my voice.

“Yes.” He’s serious now.

Oh… and part of me is suddenly insanely jealous – I’m disturbed by the depth of my

feeling.

“I see.” My voice is tight. “So you have someone you can discuss your alternative

lifestyle with, but I’m not allowed.”

He frowns.

“I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it like that. Mrs. Robinson was part of that life-

style. I told you, she’s a good friend now. If you’d like, I can introduce you to one of my

former subs, you could talk to her.”

What? Is he deliberately trying to upset me?

“Is this youridea of a joke?

“No, Anastasia.” He’s bemused as he shakes his head earnestly.

“No – I’ll do this on my own, thank you very much,” I snap at him, pulling the duvet

up to my chin.

He stares at me, at sea, surprised.

“Anastasia, I… ” He’s lost for words. A first, I think. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“I’m not offended. I’m appalled.”

“Appalled?”

“I don’t want to talk to one of your ex-girlfriends… slave… sub… whatever you call

them.”

“Anastasia Steele – are you jealous?”

I flush, crimson.

“Are you staying?”

“I have a breakfast meeting tomorrow at the Heathman. Besides, I told you, I don’t

sleep with girlfriends, slaves, subs, or anyone. Friday and Saturday night were exceptions.

It won’t happen again.” I can hear the resolve behind his soft, husky voice.

I purse my lips at him.

“Well I’m tired now.”

“Are you kicking me out?” He raises his eyebrows at me, amused and a little dismayed.

“Yes.”

“Well that’s another first.” He eyes me speculatively. “So nothing you want to discuss

now? About the contract.”

“No.” I reply petulantly.

“God, I’d like to give you a good hiding. You’d feel a lot better, and so would I.”

“You can’t say things like that… I haven’t signed anything yet.”

“A man can dream, Anastasia.” He leans over me and grasps my chin. “Wednesday?”

he murmurs, and he kisses me lightly on my lips.

“Wednesday,” I agree. “I’ll see you out. If you give me a minute.” I sit up and grab my

t-shirt, pushing him out of the way. Amused and reluctant, he gets up off the bed.

“Please pass me my sweat pants.”

He collects them from the floor and hands them to me.

“Yes, ma’am.” He’s trying unsuccessfully to hide his smile.

I narrow my eyes at him as I slip the pants on. My hair is a state, and I know I’ll have to

face the Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition after he’s gone. Grabbing a hair tie, I walk to my

bedroom door, opening it slightly checking for Kate. She is not in the living area. I think

I can hear her on the phone in her room. Christian follows me out. During the short walk

from bedroom to front door, my thoughts and feelings ebb and flow, transforming. I’m no

longer angry with him, I feel suddenly unbearably shy. I don’t want him to go. For the

first time, I’m wishing he was – normal– wanting a normal relationship that doesn’t need

a ten-page agreement, a flogger, and karabiners in his playroom ceiling.

I open the door for him and stare down at my hands. This is the first time I have ever

had sex in my home, and as sex goes, I think it was pretty damn fine. But now I feel like

a receptacle – an empty vessel to be filled at his whim. My subconscious shakes her head.

You wanted to run to the Heathman for sex – you had it express-delivered.She crosses her

arms and taps her foot with a what-are-you-complaining-about-look on her face. Christian

stops in the doorway and clasps my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. His brow creases

slightly.

“You okay?” he asks tenderly as his thumb lightly caresses my bottom lip.

“Yes.” I reply, though in all honesty I’m just not sure. I feel a paradigm shift. I know

that if I do this thing with him, I will get hurt. He’s not capable, interested, or willing to

offer me any more… and I want more. Much more.The surge of jealousy I felt only mo-

ments ago tells me that I have deeper feelings for him than I have admitted to myself.

“Wednesday,” he confirms, and he leans forward and kisses me softly. Something

changes while he’s kissing me, his lips grow more urgent against mine, his hand moves up

from my chin and he’s holding the side of my head, his other hand on the other side. His

breathing accelerates. He deepens the kiss, leaning into me. I put my hands on his arms.

I want to run them through his hair, but I resist, knowing that he won’t like it. He leans his

forehead against mine, his eyes closed, his voice strained.

“Anastasia,” he whispers. “What are you doing to me?”

“I could say the same to you,” I whisper back.