Holy crap… why has Ray picked today to be so observant?

“No, Dad. It’s a big day.” And I’m going to see him.

“Yeah, my baby girl has gotten a degree. I’m proud of you, Annie.”

“Aw… thanks Ray.” Oh I love this man.

The sports auditorium is crowded. Ray has gone to sit with the other parents and

well-wishers in the raked seating, while I make my way to my seat. I’m wearing my black

gown and my cap, and I feel protected by them, anonymous. There is no one on the stage

yet, but I can’t seem to steady my nerves. My heart is pounding, and my breathing is shal-

low. He’s here, somewhere. I wonder if Kate is talking to him, interrogating him maybe.

I make my way to my seat amongst fellow students whose surnames also begin with S. I

am in the second row, affording me yet more anonymity. I glance behind me and spot Ray

sat up high in the bleachers. I give him a wave. He self-consciously gives me a half-wave,

half-salute back. I sit and wait.

The auditorium fills quickly, and the buzz of excited voices gets louder and louder. The

row of seats in front fills. On either side of me, I am joined by two girls whom I don’t know

from a different faculty. They’re obviously close friends and talk across me excitedly.

At eleven precisely, the Chancellor appears from behind the stage, followed by the

three Vice Chancellors, and then the senior professors, all decked out in their black and red

regalia. We stand and applaud our teaching staff. Some Professors nod and wave, others

look bored. Professor Collins, my tutor and my favorite teacher, looks like he’s just fallen

out of bed, as usual. Last on to the stage are Kate and Christian. Christian stands out in

his bespoke gray suit, copper highlights glinting in his hair under the auditorium lights. He

looks so serious and self-contained. As he sits, he undoes his single-breasted jacket, and I

glimpse his tie. Holy shit… that tie!I rub my wrists reflexively. I cannot take my eyes off

him – his beauty as distracting as ever – and he’s wearing that tie, on purpose no doubt. I

can feel my mouth press into a hard line. The audience sits down and the applause ceases.

“Look at him!” One of the girls beside me breathes enthusiastically to her friend.

“He’s hot.”

I stiffen. I’m sure they’re not talking about Professor Collins.

“Must be Christian Grey.”

“Is he single?”

I bristle.

“I don’t think so,” I murmur.

“Oh.” Both girls look at me in surprise.

“I think he’s gay,” I mutter.

“What a shame,” one of the girls groans.

As the Chancellor gets to his feet and kicks off the proceedings with his speech, I

watch Christian subtly scanning the hall. I sink into my seat, hunching my shoulders,

trying to make myself as inconspicuous as possible. I fail miserably as a second later his

gray eyes find mine. He stares at me, his face impassive, completely inscrutable. I squirm

uncomfortably, hypnotized by his glare as I feel a slow flush spread across my face. Unbid-

den, I recall my dream from this morning, and the muscles in my belly do the delectable

clench thing. I inhale sharply. I can see the shadow of a smile cross his lips, but it’s fleet-

ing. He briefly closes his eyes, and on opening them, resumes his indifferent expression.

Following a swift glance up at the Chancellor, he stares ahead, focusing on the WSUV em-

blem hung above the entrance. He doesn’t turn his eyes toward me again. The Chancellor

drones on, and Christian still doesn’t look at me, he just stares fixedly ahead.

Why won’t he look at me? Perhaps he’s changed his mind? A wave of unease washes

over me. Perhaps walking out on him last night was the end for him too. He’s bored of

waiting for me to make up my mind. Oh no, I could have completely blown it. I remember

his email last night. Maybe he’s mad that I haven’t replied.

Suddenly, the room erupts into applause as Miss Katherine Kavanagh has taken the

stage. The Chancellor sits, and Kate tosses her lovely long hair behind her as she places

her papers on the lectern. She takes her time, not intimidated by a thousand people gawp-

ing at her. She smiles when she’s ready, looks up at the captivated throng, and launches

eloquently into her speech. She’s so composed and funny, the girls beside me erupt on cue

at her first joke . Oh, Katherine Kavanagh, you can deliver a good line.I feel so proud of

her at that moment, my errant thoughts of Christian are pushed to one side. Even though

I have heard her speech before, I listen carefully. She commands the room and takes her

audience with her.

Her theme is What Next After College? Oh, what next indeed. Christian is watching

Kate, his eyebrows slightly raised – in surprise, I think. Yes, it could have been Kate that

went to interview him. And it could have been Kate that he was now making indecent

proposals to. Beautiful Kate and beautiful Christian, together. I could be like the two girls

beside me, admiring him from afar. I know Kate wouldn’t have given him the time of day.

What did she call him the other day? Creepy. The thought of a confrontation between Kate

and Christian makes me uncomfortable. I have to say I don’t know which of them I would

put my money on.

Kate concludes her speech with a flourish, and spontaneously everyone stands, ap-

plauding and cheering, her first standing ovation. I beam at her and cheer, and she grins

back at me. Good job, Kate.She sits, as does the audience, and the Chancellor rises and in-

troduces Christian… holy shit,Christian’s going to give a speech. The Chancellor touches

briefly on Christian’s achievements: CEO of his own extraordinarily successful company,

a real self-made man.

“And also a major benefactor to our University, please welcome, Mr. Christian Grey.”

The Chancellor pumps Christian’s hand, and there is a swell of polite applause. My

heart’s in my throat. He approaches the lectern and surveys the hall. He looks so confident

standing in front of us all, as Kate did before him. The two girls beside me lean in, enrap-

tured. In fact, I think most of the female members of the audience inch closer and a few of

the men. He begins, his voice soft, measured, and mesmerizing.

“I’m profoundly grateful and touched by the great compliment accorded to me by the

authorities of WSU today. It offers me a rare opportunity to talk about the impressive work

of the environmental science department here at the University. Our aim is to develop via-

ble and ecologically sustainable methods of farming for third world countries; our ultimate

goal is to help eradicate hunger and poverty across the globe. Over a billion people, mainly

in Sub-Saharan Africa, South Asia, and Latin America, live in abject poverty. Agricultural

dysfunction is rife within these parts of the world and the result is ecological and social

destruction. I have known what it’s like to be profoundly hungry. This is a very personal

journey for me… ”

My jaw falls to the floor. What?Christian was hungry once. Holy crap.Well, that ex-

plains a great deal. And I recall the interview; he really doeswant to feed the world. I des-

perately rack my brains to remember what Kate had written in her article. Adopted at age

four, I think. I can’t imagine that Grace starved him, so it must have been before then, as

a little boy. I swallow, my heart constricting at the thought of a hungry, gray-eyed toddler.

Oh no. What kind of life did he have before the Greys got hold of him and rescued him?