I said, "So do I. "

She didn't reply. Neither of us spoke for a moment. The moment stretched out-became an uncomfortable silence. I looked at her eyes again. I felt myself drawn-and I felt uneasy too. She was my boyfriend who'd become a goddess, and I didn't know what that made me.

"What's the matter?" she asked. She touched my hand gently.

"I, um-' I shrugged and pulled my hand away. "I'm a little overwhelmed, I guess." I took a breath, I exhaled loudly, I put my drink down. I wondered if I should say good night and go.

She sat up a little straighter then, she became more purposeful. She said quietly, "I'll tell you the truth, Jim. I had a very simple intention for tonight. I was going to bring you up here and fuck your brains out. Nothing more. I didn't really intend to have this conversation. I just wanted to complete some old business fur myself and have a little fun with an old buddy and pay you back for all the hard times I gave you in the past. Stupid me-I guess I really do love you too much to take that much advantage of you."

"Huh?" I picked up my jaw and fitted it back in place.

"Well, yeah," she admitted. "Hell-the one time we did it, you were so intense, it was like touching a high-voltage line. Don't you wonder why I kept trying to get you back in the sack-or the shower? That was my hidden agenda for tonight. But then we started talking. And there was just too much to talk about. And I realized how much misinformation there was between us. And I wanted you to just know me as I am now."

Her face was shining again. I thought of Ted. I remembered how he was always like a big silly kid-and the whole world was filled with fascinating toys. He was always grinning-like this. I'd never realized before how innocent his grin had been.

That smile was so sweet, so infectious ... and Tanjy's eyes were incredibly fascinating. I could look into them for hours, years, the rest of my life. I forgot all about Ted. That was a couple of lifetimes ago. This was a beautiful woman; this was now-

Something-happened. A throb of dizziness and-

The way I saw her shifted. The easy personality that was Tanjy was gone-the performance of Tanjy, but not the self. It was like a veil being pulled aside, revealing the light behind as clearly as a rosy vision hovering in the sky. The smile was a window-and her drowning eyes were bottomless-I fell upward into them. She glowed like a god-she was radiant. And I felt beautiful, just basking in her reflection. The delight rose like a bubble, I surged with it--

And suddenly, I knew what she meant.

I had to blink and pull myself back out of her eyes. I didn't want to, but I had to ask. "Tanjy-there's a kind of telepathy that doesn't need an implant, isn't there-?"

Without taking her eyes from mine, she nodded slowly. "The corps thinks so. We know there's something that happens between two people that can't be explained." She took my hands in hers and held them warmly. Her face was angelic. I wanted to drown in her eyes again. "It's a kind of communication without words. . ." she whispered.

"I- heard of such a thing...I've never really experienced it... until now."

For a moment, we sat there looking at each other. She wasn't Ted-she wasn't Tanjy. She was just-beautiful.

The room, the world around us, ceased to exist. We were alone in an island universe, just the two of us. Her bright eyes had swallowed me. I had the weirdest feeling that the person opposite me was a mirror of my own soul.

In that moment, I loved her. Him.

I shook my head slowly. "None of this makes any sense to me," I said. "I don't understand any of this-and at the same time, I think I know exactly what you mean. There's a kind of tension between us, an electricity in the air. And I don't think it's just my hormones either."

"Uh huh." Her eyes were immense. "Don't try to explain it," she said. "Just... enjoy it."

"I have to know-"

She placed a finger across my lips. "Shh. Let it be mystical." And then she added, "Non-telepaths might call this love. It is, of course-but not the kind of love you think of when you use that concept-symbol. It's the experience of love without the attachments. "

"I do...love you...." Or did I? Who did I love?

"Listen to me--" she said abruptly. "You're going to be involved with some very big stuff, very soon now. I want to tell you something about communication. True communication. You're going to need to know this. It's not about talking-it's about listening. Listening with your whole soul. It's about listening so hard that you become the person you're listening to. Like you're doing right now. Can you remember that?"

"Yes, I will. I promise."

She looked thoughtful then. Even a little sad. She was Ted-or-Tanjy-again. It didn't make any difference. She allowed herself a small smile and touched my hand. "Good. Your life may depend on it. And-I love you too much to want to see you wasted."

And then there was nothing else to say. We just sat and looked at each other until the clock beeped. Three in the morning. "It's late," I said.

"Do you want to spend the night?" she asked.

"Sure."

She stood up then and offered me her hand. I got up off the couch and she led me into the bedroom.

I was surprised at how easy and natural it was.

THE FIRST part of me to wake up was my smile.

I said, "Mmmm," and curled affectionately around the warm female body next to me. I slid my hands around her waist and up to cup her breasts.

She said, "Excuse me," and slipped out of bed. I heard her pad barefoot across the floor and into the bathroom. I heard the sound of a toilet flush. I waited for her to come back.

Instead, there was the sound of water running. A bathtub? I opened my eyes. I sat up. Wasn't she coming back?

She came back into the room, wearing a long dark robe suitable for a convent. She glanced around and made an expression of distaste. "What happened here last night? What is this-? Marshmallows?" She gave me an odd look. Almost hostile.

She wasn't beautiful any more. She was small and mean-looking. She seemed scrawny.

She wasn't Tanjy.

"We had-a marshmallow fight," I explained. "We were going to pick them up-"

She looked at me as if I were a cockroach in her bed. "Um-I'm sorry.... It wasn't my idea."

"Mm hm," she said, picking up marshmallows from the floor. "It never is."

"Are you the, uh-owner here?"

"The host? Yes, I am." She was making no secret of her annoyance.

"Oh," I said, feeling suddenly very weird. Like an intruder. I felt like I should pull the blanket up in front of me. Like a shield. "I, uh, guess I should be going then."

"Yes, you should."

I still didn't move. I said, "I'm sorry for the mess. Can I help you clean up?"

She stood up then and faced me. "No. I'd rather you didn't. I'd rather you just got out. Now, please."

I slid out of bed. I stepped on marshmallows. I started gathering up my clothes and pulling them on as quickly as I could.

As I was buttoning my shirt, I looked over at her. "Can I ask you something?"

She dumped the marshmallows into a wastebasket and straightened, brushing the powdered sugar off her hands. She waited for me to continue.

"What happened to Tanjy?" I asked.

She shrugged. "She went on to the next."

I said, "Look-I know this is difficult for you, but I get the feeling that there's something very wrong here, and I don't understand."

The Chinese girl said, "Wait a minute." She stepped into the bathroom and shut off the running water. When she came back, I was just tying my tie. She said, "Do you know what we call telepaths like Tanjy?"

I shook my head. "Carpetbaggers. "

"Carpetbaggers?"