I am forty freakin' years old, she said in a tense whisper. I am older than you, Lucio. I am going through menopause. Very soon now, things are going to start falling and stop working. I'm going to need a face-lift and an eye job and Botox injections. You should probably leave before it all goes to hell.

Lucio's lower jaw fell, leaving his mouth gaping open. So this was what the tap-tap-tap was about! This was why she was uncomfortable with compliments! It was shocking. But

She didn't let him continue. Forget it. You thought I was in my thirties. You were attracted to a woman you thought was still in her thirties.

I am attracted to younot your age. He said it simply, with no hint of reprimand. He only wanted her to believe him.

Genevieve closed her eyes.

Who could have put these ideas in her head? he wondered. It was a tragedy! What kind of monster could have convinced this magnificent woman that she needed to go under the surgeon's blade? Who the devil could have done her such a disservice?

GINGER!

Lucio watched her eyes fly open. Oh, hell, she whispered.

The booming male voice echoed from the front of the house, followed by a door slam. Lucio heard the boys' voices grow louder as they came toward the kitchen.

I need a moment to deal with this. Would you mind very much waiting out here on the patio?

Of course, Lucio said. I will be right here if you need me.

Thanks. With that, Genevieve turned, stomped across the patio, and flung open the French doors. Lucio took a seat in one of the outdoor dining chairs, and turned it so that he had a clear view of the kitchen interior reflected in the half-open door.

Hello, Larry, he heard Genevieve say.

Clearly, the tall blond man was Genevieve's ex-husband and the father of her boys. Obviously, this was none of Lucio's affair, but he decided to observe, just as a precaution. The man had raised his voice, after all.

You just don't know where to stop, do you? the ex-husband said, pointing to Genevieve. This is an outrage!

She reached for her boys, who stared at their father in fascination. Go to your rooms, guys. I'll deal with your dad.

Hell no! Larry shouted. I want them to stay put so they can hear about how low you've stooped, Ginger. They have a right to know about their mother's deranged kleptomania!

Nothing. That was what Lucio heard nexta whole lot of nothing.

Have you completely lost it, Larry? Ginger eventually asked. You just barged into my home like a psycho and scared the hell out of everybody! Whatever your issue is with me, I'm happy to talk with you about it, but this is

You're just never satisfied, are you? Larry asked, interrupting her. The alimony wasn't enough. The house wasn't enough! The money I set aside for the boys' education wasn't enough. The fact that I pay their health insurance wasn't enough! So you demand more and more and more and get your lawyer on my ass! And now, this! This this travesty!

I think you should go, Dad, Joshua said, taking a step closer to Larry.

I'll walk you to your car, Jason said, reaching for his father's arm.

With a wild swing, Larry pulled it away from his grasp. Get your hands off me!

With that, Lucio realized the father was drunk. He jumped out of the chair and was headed to the kitchen where he planned to knock the fool silly and drag his ass into the street. Genevieve beat him to it, however.

Crack! The sound of her palm against Larry's face put an end to the man's idiotic ranting. Lucio knew from experience that her smack stung like the devil. He stepped to the side of the doorway, out of sight.

Get out, Larry, Genevieve said between clenched teeth.

You took my beans. The ex-husband straightened his shoulders when he said that, and sniffed in defiance. You entered my house illegally and stole my canned goods.

Lucio watched Genevieve turn to her boys. The mother and sons stared at one another in silence, as if confirming that they'd all heard the same bizarre statement.

What are you talking about, Dad? Jason eventually asked.

I am talking about the fact that your motherwhom I continue to support out of the kindness of my heart and to my own detrimenthad the nerve to break into my home at some point during the day and steal two cans of refried beans.

Lucio almost laughed. There was something very odd about this conversation, but who was he to judge? It reminded him of when he was on assignment photographing the puberty rites of the Baniva people of the Orinoco River Valley. He hadn't understood their elaborate ritual, nor did he approve of it, but that didn't make it wrong. In the case of the Garrison tribe, Lucio knew nothing about the ex-husband, or his mental history, or his relationship with his ex-wife. As long as it didn't turn abusive, he had no right to interfere. But the fact remained that it was quite entertaining.

Excuse me? Genevieve seemed shocked by the accusation.

You deny it? Larry staggered around a bit, dipping his hand into his front pocket. For an instant, Lucio feared he was reaching for a weapon and prepared to rush inside to tackle the man, but Larry pulled out a set of keys. They looked familiar.

I found your keys on my kitchen counter, Ginger. The pantry door was left open. I did an inventory. I am missing two cans of Annie's Organic Kitchen refried beans. With that, Larry jangled the keys in her face for effect. Give me back my beans or I'm calling the police.

Lucio watched as Genevieve slowly turned to Joshua. Her son shrugged, looking guilty.

I thought you went to the corner market for those beans, Josh, she said.

Uh, no. I went over to Dad's. It's closer.

Genevieve rolled her eyes.

That's sick, Larry said. You would actually send your child to do your dirty work? Incredible! Beyond the pale!

Genevieve grabbed her keys from Larry's hand. Jason, get my purse. Joshua, get the cans out of the recycle bin and bring them to me. Now.

The boys did as she directed, scurrying off in opposite directions. While they were gone, Genevieve stood firmly in front of Larry and shook her head in disgust. You're a mess, Larry.

She left me, he mumbled, rubbing his hands through his mussed-up hair. She was so young and so beautiful! She was so fun! So incredibly, unbelievably young! He scowled when he realized he'd repeated himself. I guess I was good enough to go to Maui with but not good enough to date once we got back to town! It's so unfair!

Gee, sorry to hear all that. Genevieve grabbed her purse from Jason as he ran up, holding it out to her. Joshua returned with the cans. What is the price on each of those cans? she asked him.

Joshua studied the labels. Looks like one dollar and ninety-five cents each, he said.

Genevieve opened her wallet and pulled out a five-dollar bill, which she folded and stuck into Larry's front pants pocket. He looked confused.

That will cover the cost of the beans with a little extra for your mental anguish. Then she grabbed the cans from Joshua and shoved them at her ex-husband. Here you go. I wouldn't want to deprive you of your recycling refund.

Lucio lost his battle. He snickered. He could not help it. The dialogue was funnier than any BBC farce he'd ever seen.

Who the fuck is that? Larry pointed a can out toward the patio. Who's out there?

Lucio stepped forward, then moved inside the doorway to stand next to Genevieve and the boys. Hello, Senor Garrison. My name is Lucio Montevez. I am a photographer here to take a portrait of Genevieve and her dog.

Larry scrunched up his nose and mouth, obviously having trouble processing the information Lucio had just shared. Huh? Larry asked. Did you just call her Genevieve? What the fu'?

Let's go, Dad, Jason said, turning his father around so that he faced the hallway that would lead to the foyer and front door. Lucio said I could work as his photographer's assistant. Isn't that cool?