You won’t.

Every muscle in my body seemed to protest as Danaus helped me back to my feet. He remained close on my heels as we walked back down the stairs. My gaze skimmed over the shattered remains of my library, and I was unable to completely suppress the shiver that wracked my body as I turned my back on it and headed for the back door.

“We’ll also need to discuss that at a later time,” Danaus warned, causing my shoulders to hunch under that new weight. I still didn’t have a clue as to what I was going to tell him, but right now the truth didn’t seem like the best choice.

The hunter helped me ease into the passenger seat of my little silver BMW Z4 while I handed over the keys with only the slightest bit of hesitation. The car was a manual, and I was in no shape to be shifting gears. Besides, I still had a round of phone calls to make.

Danaus quickly whipped us from the quiet suburbs of Savannah to the historic district in record time, while I contacted my human assistant, Charlotte. She would make the arrangements needed to have my private jet fueled and ready for flight in a few hours, though she didn’t seem pleased to be disturbed at such a late hour. It was only when I looked at the clock on the dashboard that I realized it was nearly midnight. I shrugged. I had more than seven hours to get Tristan settled before I needed to board the plane.

I closed my phone and released a heavy sigh of relief as we pulled up to my town house. I had reached my bodyguard Gabriel. Both he and Matsui were safe and completely unharmed. They were supposed to accompany Lily and Tristan to Themis in London, but when Tristan appeared at Factors Walk with Lily, I had feared the worst. Gaizka had shown on more than one occasion that it had no qualms about taking a life. But this time it seems the creature settled for a quick phone call, telling Gabriel that I had changed my mind about the London trip. Neither Gabriel nor Matsui were aware that Lily had been killed and that Tristan hovered at death’s door. And for now, I didn’t have the heart to tell them. I told Gabriel only that I would contact him again when I returned from Italy, but reassured him that the danger had passed. I don’t think he believed me, but he allowed me to end the conversation without a fresh barrage of awkward and painful questions.

Tristan’s pain assailed me as we stopped in front of the town house. His physical pain and emotional anguish filled the air as if they were a noxious odor that you couldn’t escape. I pushed out of the car before Danaus could assist me and hobbled toward the front stairs, weaving between the throng of humans who were shuffling zombielike up my stairs and through my open front door.

“Mira?”

“They won’t remember a thing,” I reassured Danaus quickly as I shoved my way into the house. Knox was using all of his powers to summon anyone in the area with a pulse to Tristan’s side. To my surprise, I also found Amanda kneeling beside Tristan, who sat on the parlor floor, his blood seeping into the carpet beneath him in an ever-growing pool. Amanda’s hands were pressed against his chest, trying to hold in the blood that was leaking from the massive wounds. She had been keeping her distance from everyone since she was briefly kidnapped by the naturi a couple months ago. I had a dark suspicion that she partially blamed Tristan for her capture, but apparently she had come to her senses.

“He’s fighting us,” Amanda said when she caught sight of Danaus and me. “He refuses to feed. He doesn’t want to live.”

“I do.” Kneeling between Tristan’s bent legs, I took both of his hands in mine as I thrust my presence into his mind. I left him with nowhere to run. He hadn’t the strength to fight me, or the will. At my direction, he turned his head to the first offered arm and bit down, drinking deep.

Knox and Amanda removed their presence from Tristan’s mind and turned their focus to the gathering of humans. We would need a constant source of fresh blood for a while as we waited for the wounds to heal enough to hold in the blood. Behind me, I could feel Danaus’s unease about the feeding, and yet he remained by my side, one hand resting on my shoulder.

Tristan was silent for nearly an hour as he fed on one person after another. I controlled his mind, compelling him toward one single act. It was not the same way that Jabari, Danaus, or even Gaizka controlled me. I simply walked into his mind and amplified his basic instincts to feed. In his weakened state, he couldn’t fight it properly. He didn’t even question it.

Yet as his wounds closed and his strength grew, I could feel him beginning to stir. At first it was just a dark shadow of pain and horror, but it soon swelled into a great haze of anger. I gritted my teeth and prepared for him to finally shove me out of his mind, but it never came.

Why? The question drifted to me like a whispered secret, but held a wealth of anger. Why did you save me?

Because I’m selfish, I admitted truthfully. I need you.

You don’t need me. You have Danaus. You have Knox and Gabriel. You have countless others.

And I need you just as badly as I need them. You are my family, my brother. I cannot stand to lose you.

I killed her, Mira.

Gaizka killed her! Not you!

He continued as if he hadn’t heard me. I can still smell her. I can still feel the softness of her skin and the sting of my hand each time it made me strike her. I can smell her fear and hear her voice echoing in my brain, pleading with me . . .

I pulled free of Tristan’s mind at that moment. His memories were too fresh and they were quickly becoming my own. I wanted to pull completely free of him and hide from Lily’s violent death, but I forced myself to tighten my grip on his hands even as tears poured down both our cheeks. Lily would always haunt us.

Another hour passed before Tristan’s bleeding had completely stopped and I deemed him strong enough to survive the day. Danaus helped the last of the humans out the door and down the stairs. They all held the memory of attending a Christmas party full of loud music and free-flowing alcohol. They would all awaken the next day a little tired and headachy, but glowing with a good memory.

Knox and Amanda got Tristan into Knox’s car. He would take Tristan to my house, where he would spend the daylight hours recovering. Knox also planned to call Gabriel to add an extra layer of security, even though it was unnecessary. Gaizka was gone. There was no threat to Tristan’s safety beyond his own fractured mind.

Danaus laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. I still knelt on the floor in front of the spot where Tristan had sat. Blood was everywhere. It was soaked into the carpet, smeared on the coffee table, and stained the sofa. Some part of my brain reminded me that it all needed to be cleaned, but I couldn’t get myself to move.

“We need to go,” Danaus said.

“I—I don’t know.”

“We need to go. The coven is waiting. Knox can handle things here.”

“Tristan—”

“He will be fine. You saved his life tonight.”

I shook my head as I took Danaus’s hand and pulled myself to my feet. Tristan would live because of my actions tonight, but I didn’t feel like I had saved him.