Other material was available and I wedged the nuclear device on its flat end between the seats and moved the throttle levers parallel with each other, driving the feet of the statuette between them to inhibit lateral movement. At the other end I used the parachute packs as lateral guides, so that N'Gami's body lay horizontal, his head resting on the grooved activator. And while I made these simple arrangements the unnerving muted laughter went on inside my skull, echoing the noise of the birds outside, perhaps defying them.
Because it would be difficult to do,what I would have to do now. I had done it before, to save my life; and I would do it again, to save my life; but this time it would be more difficult because I would have to make myself do it, in cold blood. Nevertheless, I would do it.
The daylight struck in as I slid the door open, and for a minute I stood listening, my eyes closed against the glare. But the noise of the birds overlaid the more distant sound and I had to go outside before I could note the difference in volume: the helicopters had moved westwards and were flying the same north-south pattern. I could see them more easily now because they were nearer, but their configuration was much larger than mine and I discounted the immediate risk of my being seen on the ground.
On this side of the freighter, the lee side, the sand had barely drifted across the top of the cabin, and I climbed them, feeling the solidity of the mainplane root somewhere under me. As I dug with my right hand, bringing the sand away, I saw that Tango Victor had been overtaken by a storm and had turned to head into it, some time before landing blind: the flight-deck windows were abrased to the point of opaqueness. But they were translucent, and that was all I needed.
Then I came down and looked at the birds against the glare coming up from the sand, nausea starting in me and bringing doubts whether I could do it. The heat pressed on my back and I stood swaying, watching them.
All right, they were merely feeding and we all do that, all living creatures have to feed; but it was their ruby-red eyes and the fact that their meat had once been man.
Sleep was trying to blot everything out: fatigue plus the soporific after-effects of the gas, and this was dangerous because there was a chance of staying alive if I made an effort, pity to let it all, slope of sand and my hand to break theget up spin of the blinding skyget up you bloody fool, near one.
That was a near one all right.
Stupid bastard, get moving, do what you've got to do, think where you are: no more water left and the tissues already drying out, helicopters moving closer, a matter of half an hour before they're over here, you going to stand here till you drop, stay here till you fry, Christ sake put some effort into this thing or you've had it and you know that.
Still hadn't moved but now I did, going down the slope towards them, jerk jerk, cackle cackle, towards them.
When I was within a dozen yards of them the nearest one flew up, shrieking its alarm cry. The others chorused it instinctively, some moving away but all turning to face me, one lifting its ragged wings and waddling towards me, threatening.
I dropped on to my knees and rolled over and lay face down with the sand's heat burning under me and the sun's heat on my back. Already their cry had changed from the alarm to a desultory cackling and the one that had flown up came drifting across to rejoin the others. I lay watching them, catching their foetid stench on the air. There'd be no danger if I fell asleep. If I slept, they'd wake me.
Cackle.
Very close and in front of me.
Sense ofdeja vu: I'd lain here on the sand before, in this or another lifetime, and the bird had come for me, cackling. It voiced again and I opened my eyes and from between my fingers I saw the thing standing close to me on its wide-straddling legs, the head forward and the hooked beak open, the wings raised, menacing, the guttural racketing in my ears.
Difficult not to move, not to yell at it, not in some way to show defiance. But I mustn't even show life.
Others were coming, encouraged. They came waddling, their heavy bodies moving from side to side under their bald white necks and heads, their red eyes brilliant. It was the.biggest of them that had come over to me first, and now it came closer, taking a single hop with the black wings spreading and folding again as it landed and stood over me. I felt the draught it had made, and began taking slow shallow breaths because of its smell. It voiced again, uncertain of me, knowing that minutes ago I'd been alive and moving. As the sound rattled from its throat I saw the sharp red tongue stiffened in the gaping beak and the small eyes glaring.
Lie still.
The others came waddling and I heard the hiss of the sand as their feet displaced it; but the big one, standing over me, gave a low cackle and lifted its head; and they stopped. This was the leader, and according to the protocol of the flock it would be the first to take meat.
Lie still.
Peck.
Shocking in its force, part pincer and part hammer blow, numbing my wrist. I didn't move. I could do it now because the thing was close enough but it was still uncertain, hopping back after taking the first trial peck in case I reacted. Now it came closer again, more boldly, the hooked beak half open for the strike, this time to feed.
Then I took it.
The beak struck but I went for the legs and got a grip on their scaly hardness and held on and tried to stand up but its weight stopped me and I rolled over and buried my face against an arm as the shrieking broke out and the wings beat in a frenzy to churn the sand and send it clouding and scattering, the strong legs tugging as I held them and one pulling free and its talons hooking at my face and hooking again, the gross body swinging from its single tether while I found a purchase on the sand and stood up, lurching and snatching for the free lag because the talons were murderous and if the other leg snapped and the thing got free and flew away I was done for.
Then I got it and held on and let it struggle, the wings thrashing and the beak striking and striking again and again at my wrists and arms as I walked with the thing to the aeroplane while the rest of the flock wheeled screaming overhead.
I had left the sliding door to the flight-deck fully open and now I hurled the bird inside and shut it in and came away and dropped to the sand and began walking, began lurching into some kind of a run towards the rock outcrop, hearing the mad shrieking behind me as the thing battered at the windows for escape.
Cerebration minimal now but I knew that I'd done what I'd meant to do: the rest would depend on chance. If the flightdeck had been totally dark the bird would have fluttered aimlessly, disorientated, and that would have been dangerous. I'd cleared the windows so that it could see the daylight, and for a while it would beat uselessly there until its frenzy tired it, leading it to look instinctively for a perch.
N'Gami, are you a god for me or for them?
The screaming was fainter now because of the distance.
I took the transceiver from the niche among the rocks and cradled it against me and tried to run with it but couldn't manage, had to make do with a shambling lurch through the sand, stopping sometimes to listen. I could hear the distant cries of the flock as they circled the freighter, disturbed by what had happened to their leader. The one distinctive cry, with its note of panic, was no longer audible. Perhaps the bird was tiring now.
A throbbing was in my head as I made what pace I could, in my head or in the sky, and I stopped again, turning to look back.
The helicopters had broken off their search and were moving into the target area at dune height: they'd seen the vultures and knew from desert experience that there must be carrion below, or some kind of living prey. When they landed I would go back there and talk to them, a voluntary captive parched for water, and show them the freighter, telling them what I'd found inside it, and arranging at the most convenient moment that the little god should summon his lightnings.